Crave

Chapter 15

(I changed Ekon to this man)

After my little autopilot flash back I didn't even wanna go to the sex store. So I took us to a park with a great hill top that looks over the city, it's so beautiful at sun set. I've been here before but whatever. Kinda have to admit now, after the thought of my makers and I first meeting of each other. I'm having butterflies for there arrival.

It's making me nervous I haven't given my self to anyone in a very long time. No one has got to me like them. No one, not even Ekon. I once had Ekon in my graces but even then we didn't have sex and I wasn't all on him like I am now. After I thought he died, I fell into a deep depression and did crazy things. But to think about it, I did the same thing after my makers went to rest. Now that I think about it, was I really grieving Ekon or repeated history? The only thing I can really call this is lust for Ekon. He says he want's his wife and I know we're mates, but he hasn't even earned that position in my life. We don't know each other from a can of paint. I've wanted for him for all this time, but for what exactly? To be able to just spend eternity with someone? I love Ekon, I feel our bond. But thinking of my makers, that flashback of us its bringing up all types of emotions inside of me that I thought were dead and buried. They are twice as strong as the feelings I have for Ekon.

I am feeling confused and contradictory. I feel like a bad mate. Like a bad person in general. But am I wrong though? I'm not a werewolf, this isn't the same. I have free will. I'll be damn if I don't use it. "This view is beautiful...like you." I hear his baritone voice behind me. I smirked at the cheesy compliment.

"Thank you." I say as sweetly as I can muster. But honestly I'm just not here. My mind and unrhymed heart beats are some place else. I know he knows. I can sense he has stiffed a bit.

" Talk to Me. I won't judge you." I released a breath and unclenches my hands. I'm thinking of how to tell him and I think I should just spit it out.

"My makers are on the way. My heart is still attached to them. I get butterflies just thinking of them. I don't wanna lie to you; yes they're my makers I was deeply in love with them they taught me all I know and then they went to rest. When they communicate with me I get chills when I hear their voice. My heart flutters knowing that they are on their way. I love you and I love them." I turn my head to see how he is taking in what I'm say before I turn back around to the view that is making me feel open, calm, and relaxed enough to speak of what is truly in my heart. "But I know them intimately. I am not the same person that they left behind or even you. It won't be the same Especially since my mate is not dead and wants me to become his wife. My heart is still reacting the same. Ekon I don't know what to do about them or you."

As I look out into the pinkish orange sunset Ekon Is calm and still as a brick wall beside me staring right into my face saying nothing. I would like to know what it is that he is thinking but at the same time I really don't wanna know. The only thing I want to think about is how I'm feeling and how to get rid of this uneasy feeling. The men that I once loved are all of a sudden deciding to come back into my life. To be real with you I do not want to let them go. If I had it my way they would be all mine at the same time.

Ekon has shown me that he does have an possessive side and if my mates are like they were before then it will be a bloodbath. I know for a fact that where I am in life and where I came from I'd hate for it to go back to where it was. Life before was just bland and regular now it is full of tension in such a short time. I look back to Ekon and we stare into each other's eyes and I wait patiently for a response.

"I still love you, I am yours, and you will not be taken from me little bull." He grabs my right hand and faces my palm up to the sky and guides it to his soft lips. He then leaves a feather like kiss that makes me feel chills up my spine. " I accept your truth and I thank you for the gift of it." He them starts to Massage my hand in my entire body relaxes into his body. I lay my head on his hard shoulder and he to relaxes into me. We spent the rest of our time on that hill for a few hours.