𝐓𝗼𝐠𝐞𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 | 𝐆𝐫𝐞𝐞𝐜𝐞 ✔︎

• Hᴇᴀʟ •

| ʜᴇᴀʟ - ᴛᴏᴍ ᴏᴅᴇʟʟ  |

" ᴛᴀᴋᴇ ᴍʏ ᴍɪɴᴅ ᴀɴᴅ ᴛᴀᴋᴇ ᴍʏ ᴘᴀɪɴ, ʟɪᴋᴇ ᴀɴ ᴇᴍᴘᴛʏ ʙᴏᴛᴛʟᴇ ᴛᴀᴋᴇs ᴛʜᴇ ʀᴀɪɴ "

[ Italics - flashbacks ]
___________________________________

He turned in his sleep, trembling uncontrollably, sweat going unnoticed as it made its way down his forehead as he drowned in his sleep, feeling the air trapped in his throat as his mind forced him to relive the unwanted memories.

The man collapsed, a display of shock flashing through his eyes as he gasped, in sync with reeces heartbeat as it leapt in his chest, before feeling like it had clenched and stopped completely, just like the now dead man in front of him.

He panted heavily, stumbling back as his feet brushed harshly against the cobbled stones behind him, tripping over each one as his feet lost the ability to function. He felt everything dawn on him in slow motion, the lifeless eyes digging their way into his soul as he processed what he had just done.

"No,no no no.."

"Reece, we need to get back, I need to bandage this properly." He didn't dare move, his gaze still so focused on the body only a couple of feet infront of him, despite his growing need to get away.

"Reece?"

"Reece!" He froze, a soft voice making its way through his ears. But that wasn't- no no no not here. Not him.

He could feel his pulse drum mercilessly in his ears, the bloodied knife still clutched in his hand, knuckles no longer an ill shade of white. No. Now they were tainted red, a cruel shade that would never wash away. It was embedded in him now, the blood that had layered his skin, it would never drift away like light dirt, no this was too heavy for that.

"Reece, wake up."

His eyes snapped open, frantically wavering across the room before they settled beside him, George's face coming into view and immediately easing his tension. He let his eyes slip closed, sighing half- heartedly as he sank down into the covers. Another nightmare. He knew that would happen, and yet he still convinced himself that he was safe enough to sleep. But even in George's arms, he would never escape his own mind. He would never be safe.

"Hey It's ok, I'm here and you're safe, you're safe, remember that. I'll keep you safe." George mumbled as he shifted closer, arms draped over him in an attempt to comfort him from his confrontation with the monsters that lurked in his mind. He sighed in defeat, sinking impossibly lower to grab the blanket, pulling it up over himself as if to shield himself from the monsters beneath the bed, except this time, they were somewhere much less visible.

He processed the words flowing out of George mouth, reviving the urge to laugh humorlessly as the irony hit him.

"I'll never be safe..I-I have to go back today." He felt his voice crack, emotion breaking through without his consent as he imagined the scenes already, him walking slowly to the moment he detested most.

The celebration.

He could see it already, his mind preparing himself for the inevitable breaking down of all that's left of his dignity. He would step into the disgusting building, the one that made his stomach erupt in nausea, filling up with dead butteries.

They would all jump out at him, shouting and praising him, the chanting that was to come, ready to split his ears. But the most dreaded image, his father would be standing there, all glory and power among the inferior low lives that believed they meant anything, that they were worth something. His father, he could imagine his face, like a two sided coin spinning on its edge.

On one side, his face could remain as emotionless as ever, looking him up and down in disgust at the monster he's become, one that has morphed into a similar replica of him.

OR, he could actually be proud of him. The one thing he'd wanted since he was a child, the end goal he had pushed himself so hard to achieve. It was the one reason he had strayed so far away from his friends self, losing touch with it completely until George came in and swept him up and saved him.

The truth was, he didn't know which one was worse. Either way, it would break him after what he'd done.

"No." He felt his eyebrow shoot up, turning his head to look at George and his fiery expression.

"No I won't let that happen. You're never going back there reece I'm not letting you. I-I know that sounds mean but I can't let you go back to that horrible place. I-I don't want you to...get hurt." He grabbed George's hand, heart hurting at all the emotional pain displayed in his prominent features.

"No baby I swear, I'll be fine. I'm always fine, I wouldn't dare leave you" he smirked, as if to lighten the darkening atmosphere that had already arisen in the dark hours of the night, one he hoped would leave one day. Maybe not today, but someday would be time enough.

"Reece, this isn't funny. Can't you just..stay here? With me?" He stared at George's face, unable to take his eyes off the blue eyed boys concerned eyes, gleaming with concern and desperation.

"Please don't go." He could feel the breath leave his lips as he went to reply, the words he wanted to say being snatched away, leaving him speechless. Stay with George. Isn't that what he has longed for? So then, why did it appear to be so impossible, like an end goal that he would never have the strength to reach.

"I want to. But..I can't George. This is my life, I can't just run away from everything, I wish i could. I do, I want it more than anything. But.. I can't. Not now." George sighed, sinking down into the sheets as he pressed his body against his own, feeling the heat radiate off him and warm the previously cold space.

"But we will, someday?"

"Yeah, someday. Soon. Just me and you, no one else."

"But the dogs. And the ducks, I want to have some ducks" he laughed, light and soft as he looked down at George, already drifting into the peaceful slumber that he had previously been awakened from. His face was soft and delicate, cheeks puffed slightly as he snuggled into his side deeper.

He almost envied him. Key word: almost. But he could never envy George for a privilege he was unworthy of. A peaceful slumber, the closest thing he'd come to that was right now, as George hugged him tight, as if to block out the outside world that hung hauntingly outside the window.

He might never have a tranquil night sleep, or a day without the demons invading his mind. But maybe if he had George by his side, like he was now, eveything would be perfect. More than perfect, he could finally be happy.

George couldn't drive out his demons, no one could. But he could keep them at bay, saving him from them when they came to destroy him from the inside. He would be there, that was a fact he could count on. And he'd never been more broken and content than right now.

__