Do Soulmates Exist?

1:Candy

I keep pondering,does true love exist? What did my past relationships mean? Did they teach me anything? Or did I just have a fun time with some random people? Does anything have a meaning? What is it that had me tied to those people?

Life experiences,personality traits or did we both just manage to be in the right place at the right time?

After a whole night of thinking, or shall I say, overthinking, what people would call "the big questions", I get up from my bed and I noticed the time. The awfully late time. 5 am . Another sleepless night in the summer. At this point,they go unnoticed,the damage they make is just slight compared to the big picture. I have depression, occasional panic attacks and I just keep postponing the decision of talking to a therapist. They don't care about me, they just want to get paid. That's why,at this point I don't care what state am I in. I just had one of the worst winters of my life and I came out alive. I think that is more than enough. I lay back down again and I think more about those questions,going into more personal detail. I haven't had a lot of romantic relationships in my life, because I'm either picky,lazy or a misanthrope. In junior year of high school, I had my first meaningful girlfriend. Her name was (or is, she's not dead) Candice Katzman, an autistic cheerleader who was very invested in her fashion blog. I never had the balls to tell her that her outfit combinations were awful. I still played the role of the supportive one and liked every picture on her Tumblr blog. Sometimes I wonder if she ever got insults or hate online. Now she's 21 and started collecting dolls. I reckon she has quit with the fashion passion. I go on her social media every once in a while to check on her, I'm glad she hasn't been making anymore crazy outfits combinations. I've always felt guilty about making fun of her behind her back. On the other side, I want the confidence she had when she decided to come to school with a pair of cowgirl boots. In the 21st century. In 2014, to be more exact. I'm not any better than her, at the time I was stuck on the edgy Tumblr phase. Every outfit included that one Brandy Melville grey alien crop top, skinny jeans and doc martens.

It often included a choker,too.

Candice, or Candy, as i called her, is a very kind girl. We were best friends before becoming lovers. How did we become lovers? Spending too much time together. Between two people,the tension usually tends to grow to the point where you're so close to having them,you just give in and ask them if they're comfortable being yours.

In other words, sometimes playing twister and going to the pool together so often gets too much, you just want to feel their body. Playing twister is such an innocent way to fall in love but it's so carnal at the same time. Two inexperienced bodies rubbing against each other, following directions made by random people who just wanted to make a damn game and get paid, so they can feed their family. Spin the wheel dear. I will follow your every direction. Yes, I will put my left hand in the green area. Oh,that hand happens to be very close to your cleavage. You have to put your right hand in the green area. And now your whole rack is officially touching my hand. I'll just go along with it. It's just twister. Put your left hand in the blue area. Wow, now you're on top of me. You propose to stop playing the game because it's getting boring. I agree,but I secretly want to continue because your body feels weirdly good on top of mine.

Eventually we fell in love and we got the change to play twister in her bed. At the end of Junior year,she had to move to Colorado. No more twister and no more social life. Shit happens.