Baby Come Back

Chapter 14

My dearest Lauren,
Hello baby. I don't really know how to start this, he hasn't let me see you since that day. He took you to Texas the minute he could, from what Claire could figure out. Demi rang me twice, telling me about your night terrors and how you're coping. She told me about how you're getting better, everyday a new burst of energy finds it's way through your body. She told me about your wheelchair and the physiotherapy. I even tried showing up to the first few, but he made sure Jake was there to stop me from seeing you.
I hope your well. I hope your fighting for yourself. I know you'll get through this, but my only wish is that I could be here for you. I wish I could be the one to help you, to be of assistance in a way your body is unable to be for the minute.
I'm living in yours at the moment, I hope you don't mind, I promise to vacuum twice a week and bring out the trash. It's unbearably lonely without you. I try not to cry when I climb into bed at night, but everything reminds me of you. I miss you so much. I just want you back here, with me. We could get through this together.
Schools no better than it is at home. Everyone knows, and although I have dreamed of the day we would be revealed to the world, and a million different scenarios played out in my mind for hours on end, non of them went the way it actually did.
I'm so alone. No one will look at me. Teachers either throw me pitied looks or ones filled with disgust and kids shout names at me. The people I used to sit with at lunch now shout things like "life ruiner" "slut" and worst of all "dyke" in my face when all I want to do is get to class. I sit alone, I work alone, I sleep alone. I'm so lost without you.
I hope you're wearing hats to cover your head and you're taking all your medicine. I hope even though we are not together you find happiness somewhere in something. I hope you keep reading and singing. I imagine you finding beauty in birds chirping and the idea that we are both under the same blanket of stars. I imagine you smile at the idea that one day we'll be together again.
Claire is into her 2nd semester of pregnancy, and even though she is clearly tainted by your absence, she is glowing. I have a feeling it will be a boy, but Shane thinks otherwise. Either way I know the new life that will be brought into this world will be loved so much by us.
I think about you everyday, and I don't think ill ever stop. You're my everything Lauren, and I will wait until my heart stops beating for you to come back to us. To me.
All my love,
Camila
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Thursday January 2nd 2014
To my only love,
Days have blurred together now, and the seasons have changed. Winter; you're favourite. I haven't left the house since we got off for Christmas holidays. I look out the window and I see us building an igloo or snowman. I walk into the kitchen and I see us trying to make Christmas Dinner, but failing miserably when we can't keep our hands off each other and we let the food burn.
Claire invited me to spend Christmas with her and Shane. Their house is the cutest thing, you should see the baby's room. It's painted yellow since they don't want to know if it's a boy or a girl until the actual birth. Shane's going to be such a great dad, I can see its more excited than Claire herself.
I asked at the school and they told me you're not taking classes in a school anymore, you're being home schooled. I don't know if that's a good or bad thing, but I hope you don't let it hold you back. You've got so much potential and you can do such brilliant things with your life if you put that beautiful mind to it.
I miss you. I miss you every second of everyday. 11 more months are you're 18, and I promise we'll find you and bring you back. We'll be together soon my love. You have my heart.
Yours forever,
Camila
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Tuesday 7th April 2014
The love of my life,
I'm sorry I haven't written sooner. I sit down everyday to write a novel of words, but I read over them and I find my heart breaking. I miss you too much, I don't want to show you how upset I am; it will just upset you too.
Claire is due in two months, and she is huge! She has to waddle everywhere, I know you'd be the one to point it out with a smirk on your face. It's getting warmer now, trees are getting their leaves and flowers have started to grow.
Schools getting harder, but I won't give up on it. I just keep my head down, it seems to be working. Jake has moved away too, I suppose to where you are too. I really hope you're okay. I don't know who's there to protect you or to make you feel safe but I hope you've got something of someone. I hope you're nightmares have calmed down. Sometimes I lay awake at night wondering if you're doing the same and what you're thinking about. If you're thinking about me or the future or if you're scared. I think I'm scared; but the thought of being with you outshines every dark thought in my mind. Ill never stop waiting. 8 months.
Forever and always,
Camila
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Friday June 21st 2014
Dear Lauren, my love,
Happy summer baby. We made it. We're going to be seniors next year, then we're finished. We can start out life together. It's so beautiful this time of year, everything's so bright; I just wish I could share it with you.
Texas must be so hot, I hope you're keeping well. I met up with Demi last week and she told me all about your rehabilitation. How you only need crutches to walk and you're smile is glued to your face over that. Although, she said she can see in your eyes that you're sad. The spark they once held now are dull and I fear you're not as happy as you'd like it think.
Claire has had her baby, a beautiful little baby boy. They've decided to name him Oliver, but I've taken to calling him Ollie. He's so tiny Lauren, like a little doll but for what he lacks in size he makes up for in looks and charm. He's such a gorgeous little thing, I can't wait to see him growing up. I know you'll love him fiercely and you'll be his favourite.
5 more months, less than half way there. I still love you as much as did 7 months ago. I miss you.
All my love,
Camila
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Sunday October 18th 2014
Hello baby,
One more month until you're birthday, until my girl turns 18 years old. To say I'm excited is an understatement. I've got a smile on my face nothing can wipe off.
Oliver's growing so fast, you'll be so excited to see him. Claire's told me she spoke to Daniel, and that we can come get you from Texas on your birthday. I've got so much planned, but the first on the list is to show you how much I missed you. How much I am still very in love with you. Claire told me you're still in you're crutches but that's okay, if you'd like we can work to regain everything you had before all this happened and more. It's been a year Lauren; one full year and I've never been so in love with anyone more than you. One year but I'm lying awake at night thinking about 10 years and 50 years with you. You're the best thing to happen to me and if I hadn't have met you I would have been so lost and unaware of what love can feel like. I'm content knowing ill be with you one day very soon. I hope you're well and happy, I hope I can make you happy too.
Ill be seeming you soon my love,
Camila.