Baby Come Back

Chapter 17

It's been three days and she hasn't looked at me once. She's broken too, I can see it in her.
She didnt leave her house for the whole duration of her return until Claire invited her to dinner. She showed up in scruffy clothes, fumbling on her crutches. She sat down at the dinner table and didnt look up from her meal once. We asked her questions about Texas but she replied but one word responses, skimming over chucks of information. All I could gather was that she, Jake, and Daniel had rented a flat in the city. Jake and Lauren shared a home tutor while Daniel worked. She said things that were obviously were an ill conceded lies. "There was a library there I really liked" "the weather was really nice" and "I wish to go back there one day"
At the dinner table, I sat opposite her while Claire sat beside her and Shane at my side. The only time I actually saw her smiling is when she held Oliver. I knew she'd fall in love with him the second they met, and I was right. I saw her visibly relax while she held him, she whispered sweet nothing's in his ear while she rocked him back and forth. And when he giggled her whole face lit up.
While she was distracted with Ollie I took the opportunity to study her. She still wore her beanie, obviously to cover up the scar and uneven hair she has since the accident. Her skin is pale but still looks as soft as ever. I wanted so badly to hug her, or kiss her, even talk to her; but I knew better. This is more than just bitterness of a different belief. Lauren's the type of person who doesn't give a flying fuck what others think; she walks in a room and heads turn but she doesn't care. She would valve a piece of worthless plastic over the opinion of a stranger in a heartbeat and if I knew anyone I knew Lauren; and Lauren doesn't change because someone tells her she's wrong.
At 11 o'clock she quietly says she better head home. I see Shane throwing me looks from the other side of the room and I know what he's trying to say.
"Ill walk you home, if you like" I say softly as she struggles to get up in her crutches.
"No that's perfectly fine Camila" as says lowering her gaze. I know she's lying; she's biting her lip, something she does when she's finding something difficult to say.
"Lauren it's uneven ground outside and it's dark. It's only a 3 minute walk, just let her" Claire says and I see Laurens too drained to fight back, so she stays silent as I follow her to the door. Shane lightly smacks the back of my head and I turn back to see him giving me the thumbs up and Claire laughing to herself. I shoot him a scowl before running in front of Lauren to open the door for her.
"Thank you" she says just above a whisper and hobbles down the steps of the porch.
We walk side by side until we get to her shed. I don't know what to do; if I push her to engage in some form of contact with me she'll probably run away screaming but if I leave this it'll just be another opportunity ill have let slip through my fingers.
"Do you have your keys?" I ask her and she sighs as she digs around in her pockets before dropping her head.
"No" she mumbled and I pull out mine.
"Good thing I came with you" I say with a sad smile and move to the door. I open it and usher her in. She stands there, looking at anything but me.
"Thank you; again" she says softly.
"Lauren?" I ask in response and she nods.
"Can I hug you..please?" I say in a voice that resembles a mouse. I see something flash in her eyes and then she timidly nods her head.
I move my body so we are millimetres apart. My body hums in response and I can feel the atmosphere turning from awkward and stiff to loving, and dare I say, intimate.
I see her taking a deep breath, trying to steady herself. She's losing her inner battle already. She closes her eyes and I knew this was my chance.
I lift my hand up to her face, and I trace with a feather touch from the curve of her cheekbone, along her jaw to her and stopping at her chin. I hold half of her face lightly in my hand, and move my own face until my nose is touching hers. I hear her take in a sharp breath and I knew I was doing something right.
I do the same with my other hand to the other side of her face, bringing me to hold her face in both my hands. And then, I see a single tear fall from her closed eye.
"I miss you so much it hurts" she says just above a whisper and I lose it.
I crash my lips into hers and she kisses back instantly. The passion and love in this single kiss alone makes fires and sparks ignite in me. She moves her face to the side to deepen the kiss and I mirror her actions. God I missed her. Nothing's ever left so real and perfect to me; the way her lips are so soft and how she occasionally hums in contented actions.
Her tongue finds mine and I lose all sense of realism when she drops her crutches and wraps her arms around my neck for support. My arms go to her waist steadying her in place as she lightly sucks on the tip of my tongue.
She runs her hands through my hair and I grip her waist. We both start making our way to the couch , never breaking the kiss. We fall back into the softness of the cushions and I'm on top of her. We pull away for air and I start to pull off her shirt. She helps me get it over her head and once it's removed I kiss every inch of skin I can. The pace goes from quickened to slow and passionate in seconds as she tangles her hands in my hair. I kiss her collarbones, the valley between her breasts, all over her torso, her hipbones, everywhere. I gently grab one of her hands and slowly kiss every fingertip, I kiss her palm and her wrist, I kiss up her forearm and her bicep and repeat the action on her other arm. I then move to her legs.
I take off her jeans at a slow pace while always keeping eye contact with her. Her eyes are full of nothing but love and it hits me how desperately I missed her. I missed her smoky vanilla smell and her small happy sighs and her soft skin and her green eyes that make me melt.
Once I pull off her jeans I kiss the palm of her foot, her ankle, her calf, her kneecap and I trail slow gentle kisses up her thigh until I stop at her hip and repeat it with the other leg.
I know we're not going to have sex tonight, this is not a sexual fuelled action by any means; I'm showing her how much I love her, still love her and I always will. I'm showing her without words and by planting bulbs and seeds of promises we both will keep, of love and protection into her skin, in the hopes they will skin down into her bloodstream and pump to her heart where it will make a home in her chest so ill be that much more closer to her.
I kiss her everywhere I can, her closed eyelids and her chin, her neck and her sides, until I notice shes silently crying. Quickly move back up to her face and run my hands through her hair.
"Baby don't cry, please" I sooth.
"I haven't felt this loved since the day I had to leave you" she stutters out and my heart breaks.
"I was so afraid Camila, they threatened me day and night to stop. They hated the way I loved you, that I would fight for myself so I could be with you" she continues and I feel myself starting to cry myself.
"I thought if I pushed you away he wouldn't hurt you the way he hurt me. Look at me, I can't even walk! I'm not even average anymore, I'm classified as special needs and I didn't want this life for you...I'm so sorry Camila I love you so much, please don't hate me" she mumbled into my shoulder as I hold her tightly. I knew she had held this in for so long and I was so proud of her for finally getting it out.
"Ill love you forever Lauren, I promised you and Ill never stop. You have me until I stop breathing okay?" I respond and after a few moments she calms down and finally whispers
"I still love you as much as I did the day I first saw you"
To fall asleep cradling Lauren Jauregui is something I wish to never have to live without again.