Restrained heart of Adonis

2

I HAVE decided to just walk. I might be in trouble if I insist on taking a ride when I only have few cash in my pocket. And even if I had so much I still wouldn't take a ride, besides the department store's just nearby. It would be few meters walk.

I walk straight with the usual downcast pacing. I certainly don't like people, for all the realizations I have met I don't think I'll be the same as these teenagers. I'm too broken to act happy, it's kind of betraying yourself, fooling yourself when you know what exactly is going on with you. I went inside the store and greeted by so many teenagers like me. I squeeze the money inside my pocket to contain my embarrassment. Oh I really hate people. I look up again and find out that some of them are looking at me. I feel so little with the way they look at me, did I absolutely look that bad? I keep contain of my unchanged poker face. Then on, I walk finding where the notebooks are. I learned how to hide my feelings- and emotions when I'm in public places. I learned how to make my likings for men crashed down. Because I have known better that if I keep myself dwelling to it I don't really know where it might bring me.

I got bumped by a boy on my shoulder, I was suppose to just shrug it off and not bother it, to my surprise the boy grabbed me and punch me right at my nose. Real hard. Knocked me down. I fall down unguarded by his action.

"You watch out next time, dude." The boy growl at me. My eyes landed on his face. He surely got a handsome face and he surely hit me twice. I chuckle deep inside. Oh boy get a grip.
I wipe out the blood from my nose, damn I am terrified of blood. I slowly pulled myself to the shelf and let myself lean on it. My mind automatically spins. I feel like I'm about to puke. My body's trembling and my sweats all over me. I know for sure a lot of people's watching me, I can feel their gazes at me. I found my breathing becoming ragged while some hands are guiding me up. The next time I remember they brought me inside an ambulance.

I was inside a room when I wake up. Eyes on the ceiling. I remember why I end up here. I close my eyes again as I clench my jaw but I give up and heave a deep sigh. I blinked many times when I feel the tears starting to cluster in my eyes again. Someone suddenly coughed at my side. Two meters away, i think. To my surprise it was the boy in the store, the one who punch me real hard. I found myself silently chuckling.

"You must be fine by now, the way you chuckle proves it." He suddenly speaks. I am taken aback, I immediately put back my poker face. Anger heats up inside me.

"You must be leaving now. I don't mind if you do. By the way, thanks for this one." I sarcastically retorted while I pointed out my nose. He smirks and look to his left.

"Look, I'm sorry, okay? I was just mad at something and I threw it all to you." Out of all the people in the store I was the one to be punched. Great. Really great. I avoided looking at him, I don't know how to respond to this situation, though. I'm no use of taking conversation. I just keep my eyes up at the ceiling while heaving off a deep sigh.

"You-" He said.

"It's-" We synchronized. I sighed again. I looked at him and said, "You know, it's fine to me. Just don't do it again, others may not be kind as me not to punch you back. Who knows, next time you'll be the next one laying here." I tried to joke around. And I think it was useful, he smirked though. But it was awkward trying to act one and I also presume that he hints the awkwardness in that. He laughs suddenly, and here I am, thought that I made it right trying to joke around. I fidgety move my head, trying to find something to say but end up in vain.

"Seriously, Flick, how old are you again, 17? - And yet you still don't do well in jokes?" He laughed with all his heart. This is what I hate with this man, too presumptuous. I knew him since first year in highschool. He's my classmate. He's Eric- err I forgot his last name. I just knew him but not that much. We're not close, not because I don't go along with them.