Daisies • Zarry

9. Regret

This is so embarrassing.

Zayn had only ever had sex once in his life, so the mere fact that Harry had just rubbed him through his pants was enough to send him over the edge, causing a literal explosion just feeling the pressure against his cock from Harry's hand and Zayn found himself just laying there stoned, dumbfounded, and suddenly wishing he could turn invisible.

Then Harry jumped out of bed and walked briskly to the bathroom, nearly slamming the door behind him.

"Fuck..." Zayn muttered, closing his eyes tight as a million different thoughts raced through his mind in that moment.

Was Harry not straight this whole time? Why did he touch me like that? Why did he just get up and leave? What do I do with my pants? What the fuck is going on right now?

After what seemed like an eternity, Harry eventually emerged from the bathroom and slowly made his way into the bedroom. He said nothing, but opened a dresser drawer and took out a pair of jeans and checkered boxer briefs, which he then proceeded to toss at Zayn, who was now sitting propped up against Harry's pillows.

"Here, for you to change into," he said, and then walked out of the room again.

"Thanks," Zayn replied as Harry left and he sat there, staring into space.

He sighed inwardly and removed his pants and underwear, throwing them on the floor and then slipped into Harry's, realizing that he was a bit smaller than Harry so they were a little loose, but they still fit. Then, he sat back down on the edge of the bed, wondering why he didn't feel better after he had just had the one experience he had dreamed about so many times. Except...in his dreams it hadn't gone quite like this.

After a few minutes Harry walked back into his bedroom and stood before Zayn, looking uncomfortable.

"I...uh," he started to say. "I...I don't know what came over me. I didn't know what I was doing."

Zayn sat there, looking over at Harry and felt his stomach twist into knots. He had no idea what to say and he became anxious, afraid to say the wrong thing, afraid to even talk about what just happened between them, because it didn't seem like it was going to end up in some epic, 'sudden realization of love' scene that Zayn would have preferred. He cleared his throat and decided to take a stab at asking him the one question that wasn't going to stop screaming in his head until he asked it.

"Are you..."

"Gay? Bisexual?" Harry finished Zayn's thought. "No. I'm not. I'm not. I'm...high, not queer. Why, are you?"

Oh God what do I say? Do I tell him the truth?

"I am gay, yeah," said Zayn, shocked at his sudden bravery.

"Oh."

And then came a very awkward silence between them and you could have probably cut the tension with a knife. Zayn felt the nerves soaring through his veins, cursing everything in that moment upon hearing that Harry wasn't gay, bi, queer, or whatever, so that only lead Zayn to wonder why Harry did what he did.

Was he just curious? Experimenting? Bored?

"Well...I'm sorry, then. I didn't mean to lead you on or anything. I don't know what that was I swear, let's just pretend like it didn't happen," said Harry, shifting his weight and looking down at the floor, a mood that Zayn had never seen before.

He felt sick, like he was going to vomit everywhere, so Zayn stood up abruptly. He couldn't have been anymore confused by Harry, who had the audacity to just stand there awkwardly and act as though he didn't just rub Zayn's cock over and over again, on purpose, and he looked like he might have even enjoyed it, not to mention the fact that he had leaned in and kissed him for one, split second. Harry had initiated that entire situation, not Zayn, who was the gay one. He shook his head and walked passed Harry towards the door.