Daisies • Zarry

17. Like a warm, cozy blanket

Finals were already a week away and Zayn was cramming at the last minute, trying to complete all of his assignments while being flooded with his eternal, all-consuming confusion. But he had no time to think about it after writing four papers and studying for two different tests for the last three consecutive days that even Elias and him hadn't spent any amount of proper time together. He just wanted to get through mid December so he could breathe again, and perhaps try to make sense of all the festering, torturous complications that made up his love life. As he made his way across campus he noticed Kendall right away because she was the girl sitting on the steps of Brown Hall, crying into her hands; literally sobbing.

Zayn sighed inwardly and walked toward her, taking a seat beside her on the steps and gently placed his hand on her shoulder.

"Are you alright?" Zayn asked knowing damn well a girl crying meant that they weren't, but he didn't know what else to say and he couldn't just walk by and ignore her like that because he was too considerate of a person.

Kendall looked up at him with mascara and eyeliner streaming down her face in heavy lines, her nose red and her eyes bloodshot.

"No I'm not alright," she answered in between sobs. "Harry dumped me."

Zayn breathed out, having guessed that Harry was the culprit behind her tears and he couldn't claim to be surprised either. He felt bad for her, even if she annoyed him, because all he had to do was imagine getting dumped by someone like Harry and he, too, would have been sobbing over it if it had been Zayn in her position instead.

"He told me he isn't in love with me," she went on, sniffling. "That he wasn't even sure if he was the same person anymore, whatever that fucking means. Oh and it gets better. Apparently there's someone else."

Zayn blinked, unable to even comprehend the last part of what she had said.

"What do you mean someone else?"

"He said he that his heart belonged to someone else!" she yelled, sobbing again. "So that basically means he's been cheating on me."

Zayn wanted more than anything to jab back at her hypocrisy, but he didn't. Instead he sat there quietly as his brain slowly deciphered that it was him that Harry was referring to. It was Zayn who Harry seemed to think his heart belonged to, he was sure of it, and he felt like the worst person just thinking about how Harry had feelings for Zayn but let him go because he thought he wasn't good enough, that he couldn't compete with Elias and Zayn felt like he got punched in the gut just thinking about it.

"I'm so sorry," Zayn said, and part of him really wasn't just saying that because he was trying to be sympathetic towards her, he genuinely was sorry because it really was his fault that she had been dumped and here Zayn was worrying about Harry breaking his heart, when he was the reason behind someone else's broken heart.

And he felt terrible.

* * * * *

Zayn sat in the library with Elias that afternoon, which was eerily quiet that you could hear a pin drop. He glanced around at all the anxious college students with their heads in books, glued to their laptops, sweating, drinking massive amounts of caffeine, and it seemed like everyone was feeling the stress of finals week coming up. He even noticed that Elias was tapping his pencil over and over again on the table top, staring intently down into his notes, reading and re-reading them and Zayn sat there feeling like all the energy in his body had been drained, like an empty shell of a human.

"Hey Zayn," Elias spoke lowly, snapping away from his notes momentarily. "Can I propose something to you?"

"Yeah what's up?"