The Stranger

Chapter 18.

home
noun
the place where one lives permanently, especially as a member of a family or household.

                                    * * * * * * * *

And I know when that hotline bling.. that can only mean one thing. Ever since I left the city, you, you, you.

I was awakened by Alex's outdated alarm clock music. I've told him several times to change the song to something more updated, but he refuses. "This song gives me such nostalgic vibes, when times were simpler." He would say. I opened my eyes slowly, reaching my hand over to his alarm clock shutting it off. "Just 5 more minutes." I groaned to myself. I bundled myself into Alex's covers and drifted into another slumber.

                                    * * * * * * * *

I felt gentle kisses and slight sucks from my ear trailing down to my neck. This caused me to shift in my slumber, slowly awakening me. "Wake up, baby." I heard beside my ear. "Mmm." I moaned lightly. When I opened my eyes, I was dazed by the facial structure of Alex hovering over me. I curled my lips into a huge smile, "hey" I said lightly. "Hey." He said returning the smile. We stared at each other for some time, before he moved my curls from my face and behind my ear. "You look amazing." He said. I sucked my teeth at his response. "Stop it, haha. I'm so crusty in the morning." He jolted his head back while forming a poker face. "Whatever you say, but I know what I see." I blushed as I gently shoved his shoulder, informing him to get off.

He caught onto the hint and sat beside me on the bed. "Did my mom call you?" I asked him. "Nope." He replied. "Okay, cool. Hopefully she didn't blow my phone up, either." "Fingers crossed for you." I sighed as I scrambled around his bed for my phone; which was burried underneath his sheets. I lightly tapped my phone screen to view my notifications. My eyes flung open at the sight of how many messages and phone calls Tray left me. "Oh my gosh.." I said outloud. "What's going on?" He asked, as he scooted closer to me. I ran my fingers through my curls in nervousness. "Tray.. he.. he's been calling me nonstop. I think he's heading to my house." "Do you want to go home?" "I-I don't know. But I know I'll have to, eventually. I'm still grounded." Alex pressed his lips together, as if he were contemplating on what to respond back to me. "Maybe, we should get going now." He finally said. I nodded my head in agreement. "Let's."

I gathered my mild belongings, as me and Alex scurried to his car. We didn't say much on the ride back to my house; I suppose we were both nervous for what we were about to walk into. "Do you think he's at your house?" He finally asked, as he weaved through traffic. "I-I don't know, he stopped texting and calling me." I said as I chewed on my bottom lip. "What was the last message he sent you?" "I don't know!" I replied back hastily. In reality, I did know. However, I wasn't in the best of moods to discuss the situation at hand. Alex blinked his eyes rapidly as he responded back he gently, "I'm sorry if I irritated you Daze." I sighed while staring out the window. "It's okay, I'm sorry for reacting that way towards you. It's just a lot going on in my life already." "I understand." He said.

After an awkward drive, we finally arrived to my house. I found myself sitting up in the passenger seat, checking if Tray was parked in my parking lot. And indeed he was.. "Fuh.." I said lowly and I slithered into the seat. "Everything is going to be fine, Daze. Don't worry." Alex said as he parked the car. I grabbed my belongings from the floor and opened the passenger door, as I walked towards Tray. "So, this what chu been doin'?" He asked, pushing his eyebrows together. I released another sigh, dropping my belongings lightly to the concrete ground. "It's not what you think, Tray." I said. "Enlighten me, ma. Why you rollin' round with this buster?" He said folding his arms. Alex opened his side of the car, closing it. "Wassup, Tray?" He asked.

Tray scrunched his face up, "Wassup Tray?" He mocked. "Tray, stop it. Please." I said, coming in between them. "Na, you and him got somethin' goin' on I see." Tray said. "I just said it's not like that Tray." I said through gritted teeth. "Tray, I don't think we've properly introduced ourselves, but I'm Alex. Dazie's best friend. I would never —"Shut the fuck up." Tray said interjecting Alex's sentence. Alex slowly lowered his hand that he extended out to Tray in willingness to shake his hand. "You really need to calm down, Tray. He's my best friend." I said. "Yeah, a best friend you fuckin'." He spatted out. "Right, like you aren't fucking Roletta!" I bashed back out.

Tray sucked his teeth as he clenched his jaw. "Man.. ain't nobody fuckin' Roletta." He said. "Well, that's not what she told me." I said. "How would you know, huh?" "She was blowing your phone up when we we're together in the hotel. I answered and she told me everything." I replied. Tray sucked his teeth again. "Whatever." He said. "But you aren't denying it." I said, pushing his shoulder back. "Don't touch me, yo. And I already told you, I ain't fuckin' Roletta." He said as he glared at me. "Okay, and I ain't fucking Alex either."

In the depths of our lies, we both knew we've cheated on each other; but neither of us wanted to admit the truth. "Yeah, sure you aren't." He finally said. "You never told me the truth, about Oscar either. Where is he?" I asked. "He's taken care of, that's all you need to know." He said. "What is that supposed to mean? Everyone is saying you killed him!" Tray's eyes widened as he faced me. "Yo, you need to chill out. I said he's taken care of; it's nothin' more you need to be askin' or be concerned of." I flared my nose out in anger, but refused to say anything back to Tray. I decided to surrender instead. "Okay.." I said lowly. "Yeah." He replied flatly. "Umma head home then, let you finish fuckin' him." He continued as he walked towards his car. "Tray!" I screamed out, as I followed behind him.

I reached out for his arm gripping it, in attempt to turn him around. "Stop, yo." He said while shaking his arm to remove my grip. "Tray! Why are you acting this way?" I screeched as tears began to swell in the corners of my eyes. He sighed before turning around to face me. "I need space. You really trippin'. You really left me to fuck around with this dweeb." He said this while point his finger towards Alex, who stood there hopelessly. "I told you several times, it's not like that." I said in between sniffles. "Yeah." He replied. He turned around, opening the driver side of his car and reversed out of my parking lot.

Watching his car pull off crushed my heart into tiny pieces. I regretted everything I ever did with Alex. Maybe, if I would have talked to Tray instead of running away from my problems, things would have been different. My legs gave out on me, causing me to fall on my knees. I cried into my palms of my hands as the thought of me and Tray ending sent me on a spiral. "Dazie.." I heard Alex's voice from behind. I ignored him as I continued to cry into my hands. "Dazie.. I'm sorry." He said again as he placed his hand against my back. "Just leave!" I bashed out. "Leave?" He asked with confusion in his voice. "Yes! Can't you see that he's never coming back?!" I shuddered. "I wouldn't say he's never coming back, but I'm sure he just needs some space to process everything." He replied calmly. "Why don't you just go back to Laney, huh? And hurt me some more." I said.

Alex sighed giving me one last pat on my shoulder. "I'll give you some space. I hope you feel better, Dazie. He'll come back around.. you're not that easy to forget." He said these final words and walked away from the position I remained in.

I looked up from swollen eyes and saw Alex driving away from my house. For the first time, in a long time.. I was alone. A word that I wasn't quite comfortable with yet. I wiped the remaining tears from my cheeks and sprinted into my house straight into my bedroom. My parents weren't home, which was a bonus for me; I could finally be at peace and cry out every single emotion I felt within my heart.

I whimpered into my pillow as a thought swarmed into my head: write it. I quickly sat up from my bed, and shuffled through my drawer until I found my pink spiral journal. My chicken scratch handwriting from a kid was smeared in black ink on the hardcover: Dazwie's. I scoffed at my pureness as a child, and flipped the pages until a blank page appeared.

I found validation in you, before God.
A lost soul – and you knew that;
If I would have taken the time to know me, before you, then maybe ..
But does it make me crazy, that I still want you next to me, baby?
Or does it make me a fool, that I allowed your soul to intertwine with mine?
A connection so wrong but yet so pure; how does that make any sense, when you're the one who's got me in total bliss?
I want to get lost in you, again and again and again.
But Tray.. tell me, am I worth getting lost in?