[ON GOING] All Of Me 18+ Only (Book 3 of Lastor series) #Wattys2020

Chapter 25: Jude

I could hear bits and pieces of conversations around me as I slipped in and out of consciousness. Sometime ago, I caught a fraction of Stella discussing my recovery status with the doctors. I only managed to comprehend the words 'internal bleeding' before I passed out again. Then, I woke up with a fever and unending nausea, spending days aching and shivering all over, and begging Stella to give me something for the pain. I was only granted mercy when they finally sedated me after I lashed out while I was in the midst of my delirium, but the torture just kept going even in my subconscious because Father was there waiting for me. Sitting at my bedside and taunting me as he slit the throats of my wife, daughter, and sister, their blood and my screams choking me.

In the past week, my body put me through the kind of suffering I had only witnessed before through Angel's experience of it and I finally understood the sincerity of her wish for death during those times. I had wanted to die before this but I realize now, I just wanted to get away from everything. Now though... now, I really wanted to die so all of this suffering could end and today... today, I think I might. At least I would try.

"Jude. Jude?"

I tore my gaze away from the curtained window and, with great effort, I turned my head to face Stella as she stood by the doorway. I slipped my hand under the sheet, tucking the scissors I'd taken from the nightstand under my leg. She came to my side, carrying a tray of food and setting it over my lap before going to the window. She pulled the curtains open and I closed my eyes briefly as the bright sunlight streaked into the room, worsening the constant throbbing in my head.

"Eat," I heard Stella say.

I looked across the ocean that the distance between us seemed to be and her eyes, which I used to seek out for my guiding light whenever I felt like I was being swallowed by the darkness, were devoid of any emotion. The way they've been ever since I woke up in this hospital suite last week.

I brought my gaze down to the food in front of me, still unable to summon an appetite. "You're leaving me, aren't you?" I dared to say.

"Eat, Jude."

Suppressing the nausea, I picked up the utensils and stabbed my fork at the already cut up salmon, putting it in my mouth and slowly chewing. My jaw ached from the movement and I took the glass of water set to my right, swallowing down the fish forcefully. I kept eating, downing a glass of water in between bites. Four bites in, the nausea became unbearable and I started gagging.

I grabbed the plastic bucket set on the nightstand, accidentally shoving the tray of food to the side as I immediately started vomiting until all that was left was acid bile and my entire body was lit with pain.

Panting, all I could do was sit in the mess I've made, tears of humiliation and agony burning my eyes. I heard Stella's footsteps approach me and I kept my head down in shame. She offered me packet of wet wipes and I wordlessly took them, cleaning my face. I stilled when she pressed the back of her hand against my forehead, gauging my temperature. She hasn't touched me in so long. Even when she was dressing my wounds.

"Your fever finally broke," she noted, picking up the tray and filing the plates on it along with the spilled food. "Are you coherent?"

"Painfully," I answered.

She set the tray on the floor and called in Levi to help me off the bed. The scissors fell out from under my leg and all three of us took pause for a moment, looking at it. Then she picked it up, placed it back on the nightstand, and made me sit by the window. She removed the soiled sheets wordlessly before leaving the room, the sound of the door outside closing as she exited the suite. She came back a few moments later and my gaze drifted to the man standing behind her, my eyes widening in the realization it was Rick.