Hearts (Jahvie Fanfic)

Ch 11: It just doesn't.

I'VE BEEN GONE FOR LESS THAN TWO MONTHS AND I HAVE 93 FUCKING NOTIFICATIONS FUCK

Dahvie's POV,

Its been a week since the bathroom incident. Master Jayy took the razor blades-and the scissors-from the cabinet so I can't cut. I'm not sure where he put them, but this place is too big to even try to find then.

Besides that, things have been going both good and horrible. Good because I've gotten to know Andrew more and when I'm in a good mood Master Jayy gets really happy. (I'm not sure why, but sometimes I like to make him happy.) And bad because I miss my little sister and Haley. And I'm trapped in this prison of a 'home'.

I still won't eat. And I've been getting worse and worse because of it. I think Master is starting to notice. He tried to get me to eat every day but I won't. Not if I'm here anyway.

Sometimes I'm happy, but almost always I just want nothing else but to leave. My depression is getting worse I think. I've always thought about killing myself, but never as much as I do now. I'm not sure how I'll do it, but if this becomes too much for me, then I will.

I spend most of my time with Master Jayy. Not by choice of course. He likes me to be there while he works. All I do is lay on the couch while he either sits at his computer desk his headphones in, or sits next to me writing. Sometimes he quietly sings what he's written. But other than that, it's boring as hell. When I'm not there while he's working, I like to talk to Andrew or Kerry while they're doing chores. Especially Andrew. I think I might have a bit of a crush on him. Maybe just a little. :3

Also, Master Jayy enjoys holding me and snuggling with me. I don't really like it, but I don't argue with him. I'm honestly still very scared of him. He gets mad very easily sometimes.

Another thing Master Jayy likes that I hate, is kissing me. It's almost like he can't control it. He'll just be looking at me and then something changes. His eyes show some kind of growing hunger. And then he'll start kissing me. Sometimes it's just soft, light kisses. But other times they're much more forceful and passionate. Sometimes I get so scared that I start kissing back. I'm scared he'll get mad if I don't. He knows I don't like them. And he knows I'm scared of him.

Sometimes I think that maybe Master cares about me, but then I'm reminded that I'm just a toy to him. He would never care about me. If he did, I wouldn't even still be in this mansion.

-

"Dahvie?" A soft voice whispered.

I scrunched my nose and curled up in the blankets more. They chuckled and moved their arms from my waist to sit up.

"It's time to get up, silly. We're going somewhere today."

Going somewhere? As in I get to leave this hell hole?

I sighed and opened my eyes. I turned around and looked at Master Jayy. He smiled when he saw my face.

"Morning." He said and stroked some of my hair gently.

I had to force myself not to start purring. My feelings towards him showing physical affection were very mixed. While part of me wishes he would stop, I've never had someone act so loving towards me. Not even Garrett before he showed his true colors.

"Are you gonna get up?" Master Jayy teased sweetly.

I sat up and stretched some. I saw Master Jayy was already wide awake and dressed.

"You slept through breakfast." He chuckled.

Without a word I got up and picked out some clothes for the day. I got dressed in the bathroom. I know it bothers Master Jayy that I hardly speak. It's partly because I'm not used to talking much, and partly because I just don't want to. I'm not even sure I really have anything to say. So what's the point in speaking?