Alliance

Chapter 46- Relinquere

Relinquere

Latin

Abandon

-

no one else was near so you

were witness to our vows,

he that he'd love me,

i, that i'd never leave him,

oh, you remember.

-

"Hi, Moonlight." With difficulty, Sanya managed to sink into the ball of hay beside her horse. "How's life?"

The horse looked at her with wide eyes, apparently unable to understand why her mistress had come to see her, in her current condition.

"I'm sure if you could talk, you'd scold me for being here right now. And I shouldn't be, I should be resting." She went on, sniffing. "But I couldn't help it, not at all. Pathetic and weak as it is and as I'm being right now, I need someone and you're my best friend, I don't care if you're a horse, I just need someone."

Her voice broke at the end, and she had to take several deep breaths to re-instil evenness in it.

Moonlight continued looking at her, but after a minute, she let herself down into a lying down position, her head now at the perfect height for Sanya to stroke.

"He's gone, Moonlight." Sanya said, running her fingers through her horse's mane. "Edmund's gone, and he's not coming back. Peter, Susan, Lu-Lucy- they're all gone."

Moonlight whinnied softly, and nosed her knee gently, as if to remind her that she was still there.

"I know you're here, and I'm so very grateful for that, I don't know what I'd have done if you hadn't come with me to Cair when I got married." With a stupendous effort, she again forced her tears back in. Her nose might burn, her eyes may sting and her voice might break, but she was not going to cry. "But he's gone, Moonlight. My husband is gone."

She sniffled again, and the horse nosed her again, quite unable to understand how to help.

"And I'm being so selfish. It's not just me who has lost something. Narnia lost its rulers, Tumnus, the Beavers, Philip, everyone, they lost their friends. Jem and Selene lost their father and aunts and uncle and this baby-" She laid a trembling hand on her bump, "this baby won't even get to know them at all. And- and Aura lost her-"

"I'm usually careful with things, but some things slip past notice, so what did I lose, Y- Sanya?" A half-joking voice was suddenly heard and a second later, Aura popped her head into the stall.

She looked awful- her curly hair unwashed and frizzled, her eyes sunken and lined with crows' feet, her cheeks looked hollow, and her gown hung off her slim frame slightly, having lost weight in the past few months.
(She wore not her nurse’s uniform nor the plain gowns of the common folk, but more expensive, if simple, ones. This was because, since her engagement with Peter, she hadn't been able to spend much time in the hospital wing, as she had to have lessons with Susan trying to learn how to be a High Queen and Consort- as well as appear to a lady of standing and position).
But despite her drawn look, there was a smile on her drawn face as she neared her future sister-in-law.

"Hello, Aura." Sanya greeted, her voice going weak and flat. "Didn't expect to see you near the Stables."

"Yes, I usually can't handle the smell here, but I fancied a walk- wait! Why are you here?! You're almost nine months pregnant, you should be in bed, oh, Doctor Asherii will murder me and put you under house arrest!"