Of Struggles and Duties.

Chapter 3: Lingering Worries.

I made it just as I planned and I was now in Estonia's borders. When I announced to Riga that I would spend my week visiting Estonia and Lithuania, she didn't seem very happy over it, but she was rarely happy over anything when it was related to Estonia and Lithuania, especially if their Capitals were involved. I'm not sure why Riga feels so many negative things whenever Estonia and Tallinn or Lithuania and Vilnius were mentioned, especially Lithuania and Vilnius. She tried to convince me not to put so much effort into this whole occasion, but I initially brushed it off as her being her regular old self. She has always been a very mistrusting and hard-to-make friends type of Capital, my best guess she hated the necessity to be friendly with Estonia and Lithuania and their respective Capitals, it worries me sometimes, but now wasn't the time to linger on it...

Perhaps it was. I've never understood what Riga has had against the other two Baltics and their respective Capitals. Vilnius and Tallinn, from what I've seen, have been kind to Riga yet she always got tense and wary of their general kindness, I couldn't figure out why. Does she know something I don't? Maybe there's something between her and the Capitals that I am unaware of? 

I was snapped out of my thoughts once I heard my phone ringing. Who could it be calling me right now? I didn't expect anyone to call me in the first place and I rarely received calls so this was a surprise. I frowned once I noticed it was Riga. She usually sent me texts...it must be very important if she had to call me instead of texting. I didn't hesitate to press ''Atbildēt''(Answer).

''Jā? Kas ir?''(Yes? What is it?) There was no point on being very formal with her and if I did put up that act, she'd probably shut me down and express her annoyance.

''Cik tālu tu esi?''(How far are you?) I look out the window as I was not sure how to answer the question and it was around 20 minutes ago since the bus passed the border.

''Neesmu pārliecināta, bet es jau esmu Igaunijā.''(I'm not sure, but I am already in Estonia.) I gave my answer and just kept looking outside the window as I waited for Riga to give another word or change the topic.

''Jau? Nu labi, es nedaudz uztraucos, tas viss. Lūdzu, LŪDZU, esi uzmanīga, kad tiec līdz tā igauņa mājai.''(Already? Well ok, I'm a bit worried, that's all. Please, PLEASE, be careful when you make it to that Estonian's house.) I furrowed in confusion, the way she spoke about Estonia made it seem like he was some kind of stranger I was visiting and I didn't appreciate Riga addressing him like one.

''Rīga, tu zini, ka viņš ir tuvs draugs. Kāpēc tu viņu sauc tik aizdomīgi?''(Riga, you know he's a close friend. Why are you calling him so suspiciously?) As much as I am aware of Riga's mistrustful nature, I am concerned that she was making it so obvious, more than usual anyway.

''Nav nozīmes, es ticu tam, ka pat ''tuvi draugi'' var nodarīt tev pāri and es neļaušu sev nebrīdināt tevi par to...''(Doesn't matter, I believe that even ''close friends'' can hurt you and I won't let myself not warn you about it...) She was very out of it...why was she this worried all of a sudden? She was this worried, it bordered paranoia.

''Labi, labi, es būšu uzmanīga, vai tas ir viss?''(Ok, ok, I'll be careful, is that all?) I hope that was all, even if the conversation was short, she really left an impact in the back of my mind now.

''Tas viss, esi uzmanīga.''(That's all, be careful) With that statement she hung up and left me in a confused state of shock. 

How can she say those things with such confidence? Estonia was a very close friend and I knew he'd never do anything that would put me in danger, he's always been overly worried about me if anything. I had the habit of being an overly blunt and honest whenever something happened which used to get me in so much trouble and Estonia was always the first to get worried over anything I said that could offend someone even if I didn't mean to. It made even less sense for Riga to be worried of Estonia of all countries. I'd understand if it was a country I didn't interact a lot with, but this was Estonia! He's not some country I know, he's much more than that...

Yet...I am the one visiting him...I always seem to do all the visiting these days, but I'm sure he'd visit me too. He's just busy, Lithuania too. I just have more time to plan out my visits, that's it...I'm sure they'd be honest with me if they weren't interested in being friends with me, I'm sure of it. I keep telling myself that, but that lingering doubt accompanied with Riga's words stuck in my mind and that feeling of uncertainty was present. I'm willing to put aside that doubt for Estonia, he seems to genuinely appear happy to be around me or have me around him, but I could never understand it with Lithuania. He's certainly more popular with other nations compared to Estonia and especially myself. He gets along with a lot of countries easily and he really spends a lot of time with Poland despite some historical turmoil they had, which is great, I personally think losing connections over bumps is ridiculous, but it sometimes makes me wonder if he actually saw me in the same level as Poland, our people seem to consider each other brothers and sisters, but I don't feel it at all, I doubt we're actually family yet we're both in the same linguistic family, perhaps I should consider getting some kind of blood test or ancestry test with Lithuania, if I manage to convince him to get one with me, I doubt he'd want me to have one with him if I was honest with my intentions, I'm not sure why.....it's a very bad gut feeling.

(OuO If you know Latvian grammar, you might figure out if they're a hero or heroine, hehe.)