A Good Man is Hard to Find

Chapter Seven

Connie

Thank God I was able to deter Flip from coming into my apartment. There are pictures all over the place of myself and Felix from our wedding day, if Flip was to see them that would be game over for me and my plan. I enter the apartment my hands are shaking and I nearly drop my keys. What a night it's been, nearly sexually assaulted and a surprise visit from Flip Zimmerman. I don't know what he is playing at, but there's definitely an interest there. I have seen him watching me a couple of times and I'm almost certain that he was undressing me with his eyes. There's no way on earth that I would ever let that man touch me, I have morals and standards and after he betrayed me and caused the death of my husband all I want to see is that man suffer like I have for the past ten years.
Wow, I hadn't realised how much of a slob I had turned into. A mountain of washing up is still in the sink, half of my wardrobe is splattered across the living room and the hallway window has been left wide open. Thank God no one broke in, it would have served me right if they did. Flip bringing up my mom has ignited feelings inside me that I thought were long gone, should I call her? If I do and she rejects me then at least I tried, she is my mom at the end of the day and I've missed her so much. My phone rings, distracting me from my thoughts and I answer it. It's Walter, "Hey hun, so what is it that I hear about Zimmerman turning up at the club tonight?" Walter knows some people at the club who keep tabs on me and report back to him, it doesn't really bother me, I suppose he's just trying to keep me safe and look out for me. It's a shame that they didn't swoop in and save me last night from that piece of shit who assaulted me. "Babe, he just turned up out of the blue. I left my bag in his car the other night and he returned it back to me. Then he insisted on walking me home and I scarpered, but then I nearly got raped and he was in the right place at the right time and got the guy arrested," I say as I start to whimper, I hate Walter seeing or hearing me cry. He's never been the best support when it comes to emotions. "Oh, I'm so sorry beautiful. I'd like to find that motherfucker and watch his brains explode all over the floor. Are you okay?" He asks gingerly. "No permanent damage, but I don't feel safe at all. Is there any chance you could come over?" I ask, hoping he will say yes. I hear a deep sigh from the other end of the line, "Not tonight, I've got some work that needs attention. I'll drop by the club tomorrow night, though. What we need to discuss right now is Zimmerman, what are the chances that he's attracted to you?" His question has surprised me, I take a seat on the armchair and look out of the window at the hailstones that are crashing against the glass. "What does that matter?" I ask abruptly. "It matters a hell of a lot baby, because that's the way you're going to get close to him. Let him take you out, wine, dine and romance you. Then when he least expects it, you'll pop a bullet through his head and be done with it," Walter replies nonchalantly, chuckling to himself. I can't believe I'm hearing this. I'm going to have to date this guy who I despise and act as though I want to be, maybe even sleep with him and then muster up the courage to shoot him at point blank. I really don't know if I'm up for this, one false move and I could find myself in prison again. "Hun, I don't know..." I start to say and he cuts me off. "Look, you loved Felix just as much as I did. Now because of that arsehole he's dead, aren't you angry? Don't you want revenge for him, I know for a fact he would be avenging your death, Conn?" I don't have a choice in the matter, I'm going to have to go along with it. I was willing to kill for Felix before, how is this any different? "You're so right. Ok, I won't let you down," I reply. "That's the spirit, I've got to run but keep me posted," and with that the line goes dead.

The next day I get ready for work as usual. I pick out a red velvet belted dress, tights and black leather boots. I check myself out in the mirror, sometimes I do not recognise the woman staring back at me. Granted I have had plastic surgery, I'm 86lbs lighter and leaner, but it's more than that, the woman on the inside has completely changed too. There's no way that I would put up and tolerate a violent relationship now. If I saw Nathan I would make sure that he never saw the light of day ever again, after everything that bastard put me through he's the one that should be buried six feet under not my husband. I have definitely changed and for the better I would say. Before I leave for work I do a quick line of coke to loosen myself up a bit, I know I shouldn't especially after the incident with Flip last night but sometimes I feel like I can't cope without it. Singing in front of all those people even if they're not listening to me is no easy task, that said I'm not an addict by any stretch of the imagination.
As I leave my building I am stunned to see Zimmerman outside waiting by his car. I'm not a fan of these impromptu visits from him, maybe I should give him my number and that way I can be more prepared when he turns up like this. "What are you doing here?" I say as I walk cautiously down the steps, not wanting to fall over in my boots. "Nice to you see you too, I was in the area and wanted to see if you needed a ride into work?" He says with a smile. "Is this because you feel bad about what happened to me last night?" I ask him whilst raising my eyebrows. "No, truth be told I wanted to see you again," he says, confirming my earlier suspicions that there is some form of attraction towards me. Damn, Flip Zimmerman attracted to Connie Kendrickson, it's quite comical when I think about it. "Well, now that you've seen me you can go now. Or you can take a picture and maybe it'll last longer," I say sarcastically and he laughs. "May, you're a hard woman to please. Just let me give you a ride and we can talk," he says as he opens the passenger door. Not willing to argue with him any longer, and also remembering that he knows about my little addiction I can't exactly avoid him for much longer. I walk over to his car and reluctantly get into the passenger seat.

"So, how long have you lived around here?" he asks as he glances over at me as we're driving through town. "All my life, I was brought up here and I've never left. How about you?" I look over at him as he throws the last of his cigarette out of the window. "About three years. I'm originally from Colorado Springs but a job offer came up here that I couldn't refuse and I've stayed ever since," he replies as he adjusts himself on his seat. He really thinks that he is going to get lucky with me, take me on a few dates and then fuck me. Well, he's the one getting fucked and not in the way he is hoping for. We pull into the parking lot of the club, I'm due to start my setlist in half an hour and I really can't be bothered. No one pays attention to me, I feel like I'm just a ghost standing up there. They would rather hear the DJ play anthems from the Jackson Five than watch some blonde bimbo trying to make old songs sound like her own. "May, you're so much better than this. You should be out there singing professionally," Flip says as I open the door. I turn swiftly to face him, "That is sweet of you to say, but I'm happy here," I reply, even though I know that there is so much truth in what he's saying. I would give anything to be a proper performer and to sing my own songs. He chuckles to himself and runs his fingers through his thick black hair. "Liar, anyway there is a new vampire movie that has just come out in cinema, how does tomorrow night sound?" Oh God, he's asking me out on a date. This is really happening. I can't believe that he is attracted to me, he certainly wasn't when he met me as Connie all those years ago. I am so tempted to come up with some excuse, but then I remember what Walter said to me earlier on and I cannot miss out on this golden opportunity. "Sounds like my kinda movie. What time?" I ask, pulling my best seductive face at him. He looks taken aback by the change in my behaviour, nevertheless he smiles and replies, "Great, I'll pick you up at seven is that alright?" I reach into my purse and hand him a piece of paper with my name and number on. "That's perfect. Here is my number in case you ever need someone to save," I reply flirtatiously and he takes the paper from me, holding it in between his index and middle finger. "I would happily save you over and over again," he replies with a twinkle in his eye. "Remember what I said last night," he says seriously and I look at him confused. "No more drugs," he continues sternly. I glance down at my watch, shit I'd better get into work. "I promise you I won't. Thanks for your help last night I really appreciated it, even if it didn't seem like it at the time. Anyway, I'll see you tomorrow detective," I say as I slam the door shut and make my way towards the entrance. I can't help but giggle to myself, he's playing right into my hands. Oh boy, I love it when a plan comes into fruition.

Later on in the day I plucked up the courage and called my mom. I didn't even think twice about it, I just knew that I needed to hear her voice again even if she didn't want to speak to me. To my absolute surprise she didn't hang up on me, instead she told me how happy she was that I called and how much she's missed me for all these years. I could tell that she was still very angry with me for my decision to marry Felix and join the Klan, but I gave her assurances that it was long behind me now and that I have changed. I wasn't about to admit to her what's really going on in my life at the moment. Once Flip is out of the way then I can start to properly move on with my life and maybe start afresh somewhere else. My mom told me that my father had passed away several years ago from pancreatic cancer, I should have been devastated but my father and I never really saw eye to eye. I'm sad for my mother more than anything, a widow with a daughter who landed herself in prison for ten years. I'm a tragic mess, a disappointment and a waste of a life. She promised to stay in touch via phone and letter. I can't even contemplate us seeing each other again, how on earth will I be able to explain my change in appearance to her? I suppose the knowledge that my mom still loves and wants a relationship with me is enough to keep me happy for now. I guess Flip was right, even though it pains me to admit it.