UNWANTED GIRLS

Chapter 15

When we arrived at my place, napagdesisyonan na nila na dito na lang magpalipas ng gabi. Kahit ako lang naman yung lasing, ayaw na daw nila mag drive pauwi. Akala mo naman ang lalayo ng bahay.

Nang mas nahimasmasan ako ng konti, niyaya ko sila na tumambay sa balcony at uminom ng beer. This is my favorite part of my place. I can see a lot of city lights and tall buildings from here.

This place is where I really belong. The place where I can ease my heart. This is where I can lessen the burden in my heart. This place is where I can laugh like a grown-up after crying like a child. 

It's like there's a child inside my heart hiding and appearing when it's a very tough day for me.

"Welcome to my comfort place," I welcomed them. My balcony is a little spacious since I hang here around a lot. 

There are table and chairs on the left side along with some plants. Tapos meron naman akong sofa at kama sa bandang kana kung gusto ko mag stay don. There are christmas lights hanging on the railings and there are white curtains on each side too. Sa bandang gitna naman, merong built in table sa railings kung gusto kong dun pumwesto tapos may high chair din. 

Tumuloy na sila Adaille at napagdesisyunan namin na maupo sa malapit sa railings. Since it's almost midnight, ang sarap ng hangin. Pinagmasdan ko lang yung view bago mag salita.

"This is where I usually wonder about a lot of things," Napatingin naman silang tatlo sakin. "It may sound funny but I'm always wondering why the world is so mean to me. To us." Patuloy ko pa at napayuko nalang. "Minsan, gusto ko nalang mag punta sa sobrang layo na lugar kung saan walang makakasunod sakin tapos doon lang ako until maging okay ako," I gave them a half-smile habang nakatitig lang sila sakin at nakikinig. "Gusto ko nalang takasan lahat. I know you all are having a hard time the same way as I do pero pakiramdam ko isang problema nalang, hindi ko na kakayanin. Parang sasabog nalang ako kasi di ko na kayang tanggapin lahat," Napainom nalang ako sa baso ko.

"You know what Andeng? Life is really tough. Life is unfair. Pero, okay lang na hindi ka okay. Okay lang takasan yung problema kahit isang beses kasi life has been an ass to us. Okay lang umiyak. Okay lang sumabog. I know it's painful for all of us pero I know it's more painful for you. We all know that you suffered a lot for the past years. I'm actually relieved that you already wanted to run away," Katrina stated while looking at me while giving me a sad smile. Tumango tango naman yung dalawa.

"It's okay to run away. If you wanted to do that all by yourself, susuportahan ka namin. It's alright, Andeng. You already did a lot so take a rest." Dagdag ni Angela habang tinatapik yung likod ko. It's so nice to have your friends behind you. It's just so nice.

"Nandito lang naman kami so whenever you need help, call us. You know you can rely on us, right? Simula kasi noon laging kami yung tinutulungan mo kaya ngayon, finally ikaw naman yung tutulungan namin," Si Adaille naman habang pinaglalaruan yung yelo sa beer. 

"Actually, I thought about this a little while ago pero I think I should do it," Ibinalik naman nilang tatlo yung tingin nila sakin and gestured me to continue. "I'm planning of transferring to online classes since matatapos naman na yung last semester. I'm gonna take a break and live to Korea for a while. You can visit naman if you wanted to pero gusto ko muna mapag isa," I smiled at them and shock is visible on their faces. "I know it's all of a sudden but don't tell Mark, okay? I know he sent you three here pero ako na bahalang mag sabi sa kanya. Minsan di ko na alam kung kanino ba kayong kaibigan kung sakin ba o kay Mark," bulong ko sa huli kong sinabi. Balak kong puntahan si Mark bukas kasi kahit di kami okay, alam ko naman na hindi okay kung hindi ko sya sasabihan.