Past Present Future [BL - SaifahZon]

Chapter 1

p a s t

"I still can't believe I agreed to that," exclaimed Zon, as he shook his head in disapproval. His amused expression and bright eyes, however, gave him away. "It's legit trespassing, if someone catches us..."

"Exactly, it's tresPASSING. We just passed the bar to get here." A mischievous smirk stretched across Saifah's face, as they entered the rooftop. "Beside, it's more exciting this way."

Zon rolled his eyes and mumbled: "I guess."

A rooftop over the bar where Saifah's brother worked, was a perfect spot to celebrate the end of highschool. Secluded, quiet, with a nice view on the city and starry night... Yet, there would be no fun if Saifah admitted he didn't actually steal the keys from his brother and that they actually had the bar's owner's blessing to use it right away.

"You're so lucky Tor's not here," added Zon when the taller boy passed him a bottle of beer. "He would definitely talk us out of it."

Saifah looked at him with an arched eyebrow. "Oh yeah, because you're so chill and didn't sweat at all when I was opening the door."

"I just sweat a lot in general. It has nothing to do with it."

"Of course." Their eyes met and a second later, both of them burst with laughter. It was impossible to fool each other; they had been friends for way too long. Zon, Saifah and Tutor: three best friends who have just finished their senior year in highschool and were finally going to start their adult life. However, it was only two of them celebrating at that moment. "I kinda wish he was here," said Saifah, opening a bag of crisps. "It's our last summer before uni, he should be with us."

"It must be nice to get a trip to Europe for graduation." Zon sighed dramatically and raised his wrist, the light of streetlamps reflecting in the glass on it. "My parents gave me only this mere watch."

"Maybe if you had better grades—Ouch!" Saifah dodged his fist and laughed shortly. "I'm just stating the facts, no reason to attack me!"

Zon's sulking face made him laugh even louder. For the rest of the night they shared laughs and memories, and cheap beer made them feel lightheaded sooner than they would care to admit. The crescent moon was high in the sky, when Zon closed his eyes and lifted his flushed face to feel the night breeze. "I can't believe it's really over. It's like starting a new chapter of our lives—or better, a book! Clean start, blank page and a pen in our own hands!" he exclaimed.

"Wow, that was deep. Where did you read that?"

"Shut up!" Zon giggled and threw a snack at Saifah's chest. "I'm serious. We can be whoever we want. I mean, no one will call me out on my failed tests or remind you of your breakup scene with Fai. Though, that was intense." He snorted at the mere memory of the slap and took an already empty bottle to his mouth.

"I guess you're right..." answered Saifah in a low, scarcely audible voice. His mind wandered off, as he looked at the city in front of him. Was it all that easy? He wasn't aware of the rattle caused by Zon's clumsiness, he hadn't even registered the juicy swearing a second later. Zon was right. Once they enter the university, they will meet new people. People, who will know as much as they tell them. They will be in control of their own image, even if just for a brief moment, just at the very beginning. He knew he had made the decision way before, but that vision made him only more sure. He took a deep breath and looked at his friend, who was now giving him a sheepish smile. "Y'know, I think I'm... bisexual."

Suddenly he felt like a weight lifted off his shoulders. It was the first time he had ever said it out loud and now once he did, he wasn't sure what all the fuss was about. He wanted to laugh at himself for being so tense about it. Even Zon, who for a second looked astounded by his abrupt serious tone, quickly showed off his dimples.

"Finally! We kinda figured it out, but we didn't want to pressure you or anything," he admitted. "But I'm glad you told me!"

Saifah snickered. Relief got him back to his silly mood, the effect of a couple of beers. Empty bottles, plastic bags and crumbs created a messy composition between them, and the salty taste of crisps and bitterness of the alcohol on his tongue would remind Saifah of this moment forever. "It's so dumb, but what if I'm wrong? It's not like I kissed a boy or anything and—"

"You can kiss me," whispered Zon and before his words fully formed in Saifah's mind, Zon leaned over and pressed his lips to his.

p r e s e n t

Zon looked at the walls covered with pictures of the best students, posters promoting science contests and showcases creaking under the weight of cups and prizes. Just this image sent shivers down his spine and made him feel pressured. It was nothing like his previous school.

"Oh, are you hungry, Mr. Siripattana?" asked the administration lady, who was giving him a tour. She must've misunderstood his grimace, but there was no point in denying it. Zon nodded slightly. "We can take a break and I will show you the canteen."

"Thank you." He replied with a smile, seeing her concerned look. Even if the atmosphere of the whole place was more intimidating, at least the administration ladies were much nicer. He noticed it even before, when he came for the job interview and the same lady gave him a chocolate bonbon to ease his nerves. In his previous school, they were constantly nagging at teachers for mistakes in paperwork. It even got to the point, where he was scared to say 'hello' to them. This lady, on the other hand, was giving him the vibe of an unmarried auntie, who spoils kids and knows all of the gossips around the neighbourhood. Especially now, when she took a break from the formal talk and started babbling about other teachers in between questions about his private life.

"I'm sure you will like it here. Some of our teachers are around your age, some could be your parents, but everyone is close to each other. Like one big family!" Zon doubted that. "You can always count on them, trust me, whether it's about school or great anecdotes," she continued, not even checking if he listened to her. "You're not married yet, right, Mr. Siripattana? Do you have someone in your life? Not that it matters, one of my sons said to me, 'mum, I won't ever get married, there's no point in living with one person for the rest of my life, I want to be free'. I had to come to terms with that, you know..."

Zon breathed a sigh of relief. She didn't wait for his answer, thank heavens. He wouldn't even know what to say. He hated those kinds of questions, because they always became more; more complicated, more intrusive. Sometimes it was easier to lie that he, in fact, had a fiancée and they were not thinking about marriage yet, but it was his new workplace and sooner or later they would find out the truth.

"Oh, Mr. Panyachote! I see you came back from your vacation!"

Zon twitched, hearing her words. He looked around but he knew it was hopeless. Mrs. Bunnag led him between the tables, to the only one someone was sitting at. Once before, he managed to escape facing him in the corridor, but this time was different. There was no way he would come up with a good excuse and, what's more, it was definitely too late for that.

"Mind if we join you?" asked Mrs. Bunnag and sat down immediately.

"Please, sit. The more, the merrier." Saifah looked at Zon with an ambiguous face and smiled. Did he notice his escape that day, in the corridor? Of course he did, thought Zon, taking his place across the table. It wasn't the most clever operation and he wasn't slick about it either. He tried to reciprocate a smile, but he was sure it turned out more awkward than genuine.

"Oh," said Mr. Bunnag, "this is our new literature teacher, Mr. Z—"

"We actually know each other," Saifah cut in. "We were classmates."