Allie and the Phantoms

Chapter 1: I Can't Do It

Allie's POV:

I let my low pony tail over my shoulder and readjust my beanie to make me more unnoticeable as I walk through the hallways of my school, clutching my music binder to my chest. I reach my sister, Julie's, locker right after the bell rings. "Hey Allie, you ready for today?" She asks me.

Before I can answer her though my best friend, Flynn, walks up to us. "Hey underachiever, overachiever." She says. I smile. "Hey disappointment." Julie and I chime in unison. She just laughs. She then turns to me with a serious face.

"Ok, I know you don't want me to ask you this, but have you figured out what to play yet?" She asks. I sigh and look down. "I'll know when I'm up there." I tell her. "Really Al? That's all you're giving us?" Flynn asks. I nod. "Come on Allie, this is-"

"My last chance, I know. I was there." I mumble, looking at the ground. If I don't participate in music class today, I'm out. I really, really don't want to be kicked out, but I don't know if I can make myself play. It's been a year, but every time I think of playing I can't bring myself to do it.

Julie has it easy. It only took her a month after mom's death to start playing the keyboard in her room again. The thing is I always preferred mom's piano downstairs to a keyboard and I can't play it. "See you at the rally." I hear Carrie Wilson's voice say behind me.

Flynn, Julie, and I turn around to see her handing out flyers. "Ugh, what is she handing out?" Flynn asks. "Desperation?" Julie suggests. This causes me to smile. That's when Carrie decides to walk up to us and hand us each a flyer.

"Here you go. My group's performing at the spirit rally tomorrow. I'm sure you guys have nothing better to do." She says in an overly cheery tone. I keep my head down. "Oh my gosh, Carrie! Thanks!" Flynn says sarcastically.

"Oh my gosh, Flynn! Don't bother coming." Carrie retorts in the same tone. When she walks away Flynn crumbles up the flyer. That's when I catch sight of him. My crush since we met in music class years ago, Nick. "Nick? Still?" Julie asks.

"You know they're gonna get married and have a bunch of unholy babies." Flynn says. "Nick's a sweetheart." I argue. "You'd actually have to talk to talk to him to know that." Julie teases. I glare playfully at her.

"Besides, only one of them has to be a demon to have a demon baby." Flynn says. This causes me to smile. "Demon!" She yells over her shoulder before we whip around so we're not facing her. Julie and I just giggle at this.

"Come on, we should get going, class is about to start." Flynn says. We nod and head towards music. The three of us sit in our usual seats and wait for class to begin. As class goes on my hands start to shake more and more. Finally Julie is up playing a piece I wrote for her a year ago.

She's almost finished and I'm after her. "You'll do great." Flynn whispers to me. I nod, not really believing her. I don't know if I can do this. Finally Julie's song ends. "That was beautiful Julie. Now, we have one last performance. Allie?" Mrs. Harrison says.

I nod and grab my binder off the ground, getting up and walking to the piano. I pass Julie on the way. "You got this." She reminds me. I nod and sit behind the piano I place my binder on the piano and pull out a random song. I hover my hands over the keys and take a deep breath.

"Take your time." Mrs. Harrison tells me. I nod and close my eyes for a second. Flashes of me and my mom playing when I was a kid play through my mind. My hands shake harder and I open my eyes. I go to lower my hands before bringing them back up. I stand. "I'm sorry."

"Is this where we clap?" Carrie asks sarcastically. I grab my binder and music sheets and run out of the room. I hear Julie and Flynn's footsteps behind me. A tear slides from my eye as I get to my locker and sink to the floor in front of it in the empty hallway.

Flynn and Julie find me and sit on either side of me, wrapping their arms around me. "I'm so sorry Al." Flynn says. "Not your fault." I mumble. "Not yours either." Julie reminds me. I shake my head. It is my fault. It's my fault I can't bring myself to play.

It's been a year, Julie bounced back after a month. Why can't I? The rest of the day goes by in a blur and soon Julie and I are home. I set to work doing my homework in the kitchen while Julie goes upstairs to do hers. Dad walks downstairs.

"Ah, good, you're home. I was about to go watch your brother's game. I've had photoshoots all day, didn't even get a chance to eat. But...I got a phone call today." He says. My heart sinks. "Yeah, I figured as much." I mumble, messing with the end of my pony tail.

"Yeah. Well, it was may realtor friend." He says, sitting down next to me. I let out a breath of relief. "Oh, that." I say. At least he didn't hear about music. That would devastate him. He knows how much I used to love playing with mom and Julie.

"Yeah, and she says that if we're serious about selling the house, then she wants me to take some pictures for the website. Which means we have to do a lot of cleaning, and get rid of some stuff." He says. Where is he going with this? "And maybe you can...tackle mom's studio?" He asks.

I look down at my hands. "You're the expert, and I would ask Julie, but she even said you'd know what to do with that stuff better than she would. It's ok honey, you don't have to do it." He tells me. I shake my head.

"No. It's fine. Maybe I'll try tonight." I say, giving him a smile, hoping that it will make him feel better even though I'm dreading the experience. It's been months since I've been in there. I tried to go in there and play six months after mom died. I couldn't and I ended up running out, crying.

"Yeah? Awesome mija. Thank you." He says, looking so happy. I keep my smile up. "Oh, and don't forget the loft. You know, those old instruments that were there when we moved in? They need a new home." He tells me. I nod. "Mom would like that." I say as he stands up for the table.

"Yeah, she would." He says. Then he checks him watch. "Oh God, I'm gonna be late." He checks himself for his keys and I hold back a laugh. "Under the mail." I remind him. "You're a lifesaver." He says, grabbing his keys. With that he leaves. When he's gone I go back to my homework.

I'll go to the garage when I'm finished.