SPIDER-MAN (and Avengers) ONE SHOTS

Grumpy, Angry & Unhappy Happy

Happy was grumpy, angry and simply, truly and madly unhappy.
Why do you ask?
Why was Happy, the man who used to be as happy as a kiddie with candy— all day every day—, so unhappy now?

Was it because Tony broke the Wii as he was running around in his undies yelling "weeeee"?

No, of course not!
We're talking about Tony here, not Bucky!

Though Tony would probably do the same if he had been sent a nude of an horny Stevie touching his wee-wee on his bed while starring at the camera with deviously beautiful bedroom eyes. Blue as the sky and dark as the night. God, Bucky would have loved to watch his Stevie get off one, two, three or six times until he would have been so sleepy or empty for Bucky to fill his—

*cough cough*

Anyway, Bucky had a good excuse that day, oui, but Natalie would never forgive him for running away in his very naked birthday suit, only after having thrown his panties directly in her sugar-free coffee. Never. He said "sorry", but who would believe apologies from an horny Bucky?

That's right.
No one.
Or maybe Brucie, but we'll never be sure of that.

And sure, Bucky had "accidentally" broken the Wii in his horny escape, but would "sorry" fix no more portraying Yoshi at Mario Kart? Yeah no.
Not Clint, not Petey.

And who knows?

Maybe Happy was grumpy, angry and simply, truly and madly unhappy because of Loki?
Honestly, I would be too.
Loki who, not even hours before the wii thing, had, in all his evil, had low-keyed drew a bunch of pee-pees with his city-key (a prize he had won for his villainy mischief— obviously) on Happy's brand new Audi.

A gift from Tony too.

How dare he.

Stupid puny demi-god.

Grumpy Happy, so unlucky and it was only lundi. It wasn't even midday (or as the french says: midi) and his boiling hot coffee has already ended up on his brand new white tee.

Fuckity-fuck.

"Language!!" shouted Captain Stevie from his shared bedroom with Bucky.

Happy Hogans should have became a pirate instead. Just so he could say "Savvy" at the end of every sentences.

Or maybe, just maybe, Grumpy Happy is titled that way because "Grumpy Happy" sounds so great, so perfect— so pretty— and it makes an amazingly awesome oxymoron, you moron.

Sigh.

This day was already so shitty.

And it wasn't even ten-thirty.