Hopeless

Chapter 5

Hold On;

There are tears in her eyes and she can't stop herself from sobbing.

This is her final breaking point. This is it. The day she finally collapse and feels like she can't breath because every breath feels like a knife into her body.

She has that bad habit of overthinking when she's alone. She knows it's not good to keep it all for herself and she's been keeping this for herself for a long time now.

Perhaps that's why she picks up her phone when Rosè calls.

"Can you come over and help me watch over the little ones?"

Jennie takes a deep breath but she can't stop the sob leaving her mouth.

"Jen? What's wrong?"

She tells Rosè everything. She tells her how Lisa had called her a few weeks after their break up and how they started hooking up and how Lisa was mostly drunk and how it sucks to be in that position. She tells her how hurt she is. Every detail and every feeling she felt since she started seeing Lisa.

"So, she gave you the rose back?"

"Yeah."

"Look Jennie, I know we haven't seen each other much lately but I am here for you. I promise everything will be okay. We'll make it through. I am right here for you. We all are. You need to hold on. Can you do that for me? I'll come over tomorrow and we will spend the whole day cuddling and eating junk food and watching Lilo and Stich, Rapunzel and Frozen and other Dinsey craps you have on your laptop, deal?"

"Yes, thank you Rosie. I love you. I just feel so small right now and for the past few weeks everything has been a mess and I tried so hard to figure it out but no matter what I did, it wasn't good enough. I don't think I was good enough for her."

"That's not your problem or fault. It's Lisa's. Look, when she moved to our school I adored her, I really thought she's just what you need, and I believed in it for a long while. Until she started acting up. And you're my best friend. We've been here for each other since the first grade and you had a few fuckboys breaking your heart. I'm sorry Lisa turned out to be like one of them."

"Yeah, me too."

"Hey I have to go because Ella is teaching my baby bad words."

"See you tomorrow?"

"Of course. I'll be there in the morning. Love you mandu, stay strong, yeah?"

"I will. Rosie."

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Understand;

It's been a few minutes since her phone call with Rosie and the New Zealander was going over what Rosè had said.

For years people have been going on and out of her life and she was getting tired of it, will anyone ever really stay there? Perhaps it had something to do with her and not them?

It's so easy to get lost and forget where she came from and where she belongs. That's what she's afraid of the most, of forgetting who her real friends are. Who was there for her and who wasn't. Rosanne is always here, that's for sure.

People change with time, and it doesn't always mean they change in a bad way, it just means they are growing up. That's a part of life. However, it's important to stay true to yourself and not let other people get to you. It's also important not to leave the people you love during that period. Jennie kind of feels like she lost all of them along the way, and she doesn't like that. It's nice to know people are here, that's why she took her phone and started calling her friends.