Devil's Clubhouse

The audience get seated

You are an audience member watching the filming of a new series of Dragon's Den. For this series they brought in an audience to catch boos and shouts from audience participation. A pair of men enter the den to show the dragons their cool new invention. They appear very nervous.

"This is going to be so much fun!" one says excitedly. "We can't wait for you all to see what we've done."

The other man looks at his partner, who nods slowly in agreement. Then he turns to you and smiles nervously. You're sitting in the front row, so the contestants keep looking to you for some kind of stranger encouragement. You're not sure what facial expressions you can offer that would help them. The Dragons (actual human people and definitely not fantasy dragons from role playing games) insist they show their invention immediately.

They walk up to the back of the den with their device and then turn around to face you. It takes about five seconds before your eyes adjust to the bright lights and you realize that both men have two giant screens strapped over their heads.

"This device is called the Body Billboard." The first man explains, "It turns a regular human person into a walking, talking advertisement."

"It has two big screens so people can see the person being advertised on from all sides." His partner adds.

An investor "Dragon" wants to ask them some questions.

"So it's an ad that walks around?"

"Exactly!"

"Can it also dance?"

"Depends how the person wearing it is feeling. We're not quite sure at the moment." The second man says.

"Can it yell at people?"

"Not unless you've got a lot of spare voices." The first man laughs.

"Alright then, when are we going to start using it?"

The two men share a look.

"We're not sure."

The Dragons are highly unimpressed. They had assumed that this wasn't just a working prototype and they'd actually started selling these darned things. The Dragons quickly begin pointing and laughing at the men's heads as if they were cartoon characters. You join in the laughter, although you are slightly puzzled by all this. A moment later the two men realize that they are being laughed at and begin hitting themselves in the head. Peter Jones, longest sitting member of the moneybags group, furiously shouts at the men.

"That's the wildest overreaction I've ever witnessed on this show!"

The two men attempt to explain that it's not what it seems, but Peter is having none of it.

"It looks like a pair of television screens strapped to the front of their heads! How dare you attempt to Jew us all down with your filthy advertising!"

Those words immediately rise the producer and director from their seats. They simultaneously shake their heads in disapproval.

Jones turns to them with a smile. "Exactly! How dare you attempt to Jew us all down with your filthy TV dinners?"

"Peter, you're on a roll. If you don't stop, you're going to get yourself kicked off the show." The director tells him.

The contestants' jaws are hanging open. They're witnessing a fight between an executive and an even richer man, all happening right in front of them and in front of recording cameras and you sitting in the audience. It's hard to believe that it's happening.