THE OREGON TRA(VA)IL

Did You Read The Missouri Republican Today?

(Special thanks to _Superwholockinger_, who came up with the last name Dankworth!)

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A family stood at the edge of the bustling center of Independence, Missouri. General stores, saloons, and other establishments lined either side of the wide, well-trodden dirt road, and dust kicked up from peoples' boots mingled with the sound of people trading wares and news, swapping stories, and advertising goods. This family, like many others, were in Independence to buy the essentials needed for their journey west to Oregon, the promised land.

Since the story will be focusing on this family of six, the Dankworths, I might as well introduce you to them.

Two-Sheds (props to you if you get the reference) Dankworth was the (self-proclaimed) leader of the wagon party, and the father of the family.

Hard Hat Required Dankworth was the wife of Two-Sheds and mother to three children.

The eldest child of Hard Hat Required and Two-Sheds was Vaccinated, a sixteen year old girl.

Next came Bug.jpg (his parents originally wanted to name him Bug.mp3, but the people at the birth registration didn't allow numbers), the middle child at six years old, and possibly the most problematic. He was more wild animal than human boy.

The third sibling and the youngest Dankworth child was Accidental. She was four months old and couldn't do much, so she was kind of boring.

And the sixth member of the family? That would be Dr. Inscitus. Well, he wasn't really related. No one, including the Dankworths themselves, knew why he was with them or when exactly he joined them, but they just kinda accepted it. The Dankworths were also not completely sure that Dr. Inscitus was a real doctor– they suspected that he may have been at one point, but he was rather touchy about the subject.

Two-Sheds scanned the store signs, looking for Matt's General Store. "There," he said, spotting it and leading his family through a small crowd of people. He could have easily gone around, but that was not Two-Sheds' way.

"Did you read the Missouri Republican today?" asked a smiling man holding a newspaper outside the general store.

"No," Two-Sheds told him, and with that led the Dankworths into the store.

"Hey there!" said a man inside the store, presumably Matt. "Welcome to Matt's General store! You have $800.00 to spend."

"How do you know how much money we have?" Hard Hat Required asked skeptically. Matt ignored her and kept talking.

"We have yolks, food, clothing, ammunition, and spare parts."
"Okay," replied Two-Sheds, "I guess we'll start with yolks."

"I recommend at least 3 yolks, there are 2 oxen in a yolk. $40 per yolk," Matt said immediately.

"Uh, we'll take four."

"For food, I recommend 200 pounds per person. 20 cents per pound."
Two-Sheds looked over at the doctor. "Dr. Inscitus," he said, "you're the math person. How much do we need?"

"There are five of us," Dr. Inscitus responded. "So 500 pounds. Easy."

"Great, 500 pounds then."

This went on until they reached spare parts.

"We'll buy five wagon wheels," Two-Sheds said.

"You can only carry three!" Matt said, making an error noise.

"Okay, we'll take four wagon wheels."

Matt made an error noise again. "You can only carry three!"