We Prefer Simple

Chapter 3

As I rode my elevator up to my apartment my heartbeat still kept pounding in my chest. I felt as if someone was repeatedly nailing something in my heart. My breaths were short and shaky, and I could still feel the boy's chilly fingers on my warm skin. I kept getting gosebumps when I thought of it.

When the elevator doors opened up to my apartment I was more than relieved to get to my room. I ran up the stairs ignorning my sisters greetings.

I closed myself into my spacious room. I started pacing my room, I was definitetly starting to have an another anxiety attack.

What calmed me last time? I thought as I walked over my plush carpet.

An idea bolted in my head, I walked into my bathroom turning on the shower. The shower drops pelted against the tiled floor, once the water was hot I slipped off my clothes. I felt the water, it was steaming hot, just how I liked it when I was having an anxiety attack.

I clenched my teeth together getting used to the burning water. It felt almost like a fire, not exactly that hot thought. Once my body was used to the temperature I sat on the tiled shower floor. I took calming breaths, in through my nose out through my mouth.

I had anxiety attacks when I someone tried to get to close to me, not like what just happend, which was bad too. But when people flirted with me or tried to kiss me, I started freaking out. It wasn't the most healthiest thing but my mom refused to take me to the doctor.

"I'm not having my daughter be in an asylum!" My mom shouted at me.

"Mom I can't breathe!" I muttered out through short breaths. My palms were clamy, I constantly wiped them on my sweater. I felt like my world was falling apart, the only thing holding me together was fear, fear of what though? I couldn't pinpoint where the fear was coming from, which led me to pain. Pain spread through my body like wildfire, everything hurt mentally. Nobody could understand, I felt like dying.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" My mom shouted at me as I knelt down on the floor.

"I don't know." I said, sobs were coming out of my mouth.

"Go take a fucking shower!" My mom yelled pointing her finger to upstairs.

"I don't want to!"

"It will calm you! Try it dammit!"

I was still sobbing when I stepped into the warm water.

"It's not working!" I screamed to myself.

I angrily turned the water warmer, the temperature increased to a boiling temperature.

"Shit!" I said jumping to a part of my shower that the water didn't spray me.

An idea popped in my brain, I slowly put my foot in the steaming water. It hurt, but it was soothing. Soon my whole body was under the boiling water, it calmed me by hurting me. It had helped since.

My mind came back to the present and I realized I had been in the water for almost an hour. I slipped out of the shower and slipped sweats and a tank top on. I left my hair down on my shoulders to naturally dry.

When I got back to my room I heard my phone ringing from my bed.

"Hello?" I picked up.

"Hey can I come over? I need to rant?" Gabby said over the phone.

"Yeah, but just a warning, Alex is here today." I said brushing my long hair.

"Is there any other way to get up?" Gabby asked sighing.

"If you want to come up the fire exit, but that requires walking up many stairs, and climbing into my window."

"I'll pass on that journey." Gabby snorted.