Beautiful Boy

eight

For a few more days, we just said hi awkwardly to each other. I remember him staring at me, and I remember myself staring at him.

Sometimes our eyes would make contact, making my heart beat faster than ever.

It was the typical crush thing. Staring at them and when your eyes finally meet, you both avert them shyly, as if you had been caught doing something wrong.

Did he feel as awkward as I did?

Was he nervous too?

What for?

During times like these, your mind becomes unable to reason. You can never simply reason your emotions. They're a mix of so many different feelings, even one as simple as that of a crush.

Think about it.

You feel nervous, excited and yet happy when you talk to them, and sad, disappointed and frustrated when they don't acknowledge you.

Everything was normal.

Just the usual routine.

My friends pestering me for notes.

My friend talking about her partner.

All of us ranting about the assignments we were given.

Finishing school and then going home alone with the music in my ears.

I'm not saying that that isn't fun. Of course it's nice to have an amazing day with your friends. Routine isn't that bad either.

But the only different thing I felt was this giddy feeling. I felt high on these bundle of emotions, as if I were looking forward to seeing him again.

"Hello."

"AH!"

I shrieked in shock, surprised by the sudden greeting.

It was the boy.

He had this nervous smile, that was somehow still friendly. Relaxing and yet, rushing.

Or maybe that's how I felt.

I couldn't really differentiate anymore.

I smiled calmly, ignoring the various thoughts rushing in my head.

"I don't recall ever seeing you use this path," I commented, looking straight ahead, like I didn't want to look at his eyes again.

"That's because I've never really walked here before. I'm just walking along various routes to know more about the area," he said, before I could even ask him anything.

"How many paths did you find out about?"

"Fifteen or sixteen? I'm not sure to be honest."

Wow.

"How dedicated."

He just grinned, feeling smug about his achievement.

"Why thank you. Oh, and I'm curious. How do you finish your schoolwork and study? That makes no sense," he spoke with this amazement, attempting a conversation.

"That's because I pay attention, so everything else is just a revision."

"How? That class is so boring. And the assignments she gives are absolutely draining."

I stared at him in surprise, feeling satisfied with myself for finishing everything.

"Am I the only one who finds them easy?" I asked him, feeling this sense of superiority.

"Stop flexing," he glared playfully, making me chuckle.

Just like that, the air around us became awkward again.

It wasn't that uncomfortable, now that I look back on it. But at that time, I was dying out of nervousness. I wanted to say something, and yet, I didn't know what to say.

God, I sucked at talking to people I didn't know.

"What song were you listening to?"

I looked at him, as if that were a response to his question.

I felt awkwardness slowly go away.

Somehow, he managed to start another conversation.

Usually, when someone asks questions like these, the conversation ends in a few words.

Usually, it'd have become more awkward.

But for some reason, he looked really interested. He looked as if he really wanted to know what songs I liked.

I didn't see how that mattered.

But that made me happy.

I cleaned my earbud with a clean tissue, and he took them and put it in his ear, like it was nothing.

We both continued walking normally, sharing a pair of earphones and listening to a song awkwardly.

The sight is certainly weird to imagine, I'm well aware.

"Is this the name of the song?" he asked me while the chorus was playing, and I nodded in response.

"It sounds nice."

"Mhm."

At that moment, everything seemed brighter than usual.

The breeze was cooler. The sky looked prettier. Our breaths seemed deeper, and all we could hear was the blaring sound of the music thumping against our ears.

I was well aware that we weren't dating. I didn't even know if I could call him my friend yet.

I barely knew him.

For some reason, something about him just caught my attention. My dissatisfaction with my life slowly started fading away, every day having some extra excitement in it.

A part of me knew that if this excitement ever died down, my days might end up becoming worse after.

And yet, the two of us enjoyed the wind brushing our skin, the electrifying feeling brushing my fingertips slightly touched his.

I suddenly stopped, remembering the route I had to take.

"Shit."

"What happened?" he asked, stopping as well, looking at me with concern.

"I was supposed to go that way," I pointed back, giving him a half smile.

"Oh," he said aimlessly, suddenly in thought.

The air around us just became awkward. Neither of us knew what to say and how to react.

I felt like I was dying inside.

"Um. I'll be going then," I gave him an awkward smile and waved a bye, before quickly taking my earplug  and turning around.

And do you know what I did?

I walked.

Fast.

Really fast.

I was nervous. Really nervous.

Practically a walking mess.

I bet if I walked any faster, I'd have tripped because of how nervous I was.

And maybe you'd think how sad this was if I just went away and nothing else happened after that.

But that didn't happen.

"Wait!" he asked nervously, making me stop my tracks.

I felt it.

The blood rushing to my cheeks.

My mind blank.

What was he going to say?

He looked embarassed, a slight trace of pink flushing his cheeks.

"Could I walk you home?"