Beautiful Boy

ten

I was scared to go to school.

Of course I was. I just randomly admitted that he looked good, shamelessly, and I couldn't stop remembering his face after I said that.

EEEEE!

Fuck, I couldn't stop squealing.

I just had a moment with him.

Calm down, calm down.

Walk inside the class as usual.

Keep that straight face.

Calm down-

I managed to keep my face in it's usual, straight expression before I went inside my class.

But that small smile never came off my face.

"Dude, did you finish your homework?" I heard a familiar annoying voice behind me, and so I turned around, wanting to grumble.

"Woah, woah, woah," homework guy took two steps back, putting a surprised look on his face, "that's a huge smile."

"Well," I smiled wider without realising it, "it was a good day yes-"

"You're smiling! Holy shit! My eyes-"

Usually, I would be annoyed, but not even homework guy could ruin my mood.

"My homework," I handed it to him, proceeding to put my earphones in my ear, "take it and leave."

"Uh-huh."

This feeling was nice.

Giddy.

Making me smile and squeal when I all I did was just talk to him.

I looked out the window, hugging myself while listening to the romantic music that was simply melting my heart.

I've realized something lately.

Emotions and logic aren't really correlated.

You can't control your emotions with logic.

You might end up crushing on someone so hard, without knowing them at all.

You wouldn't know why.

And you wouldn't know how either.

It just ends up happening.

The feeling of crushing on someone feels either really sweet or bittersweet. It's this light feeling, where your heart is thumping back and forth like crazy, and your emotions become muddled, and your mind is crazily aware but your actions become a blur.

Ah. . .

This feeling.

It's so new.

I felt a hit on the back of my head, and I turned around, scowling at the person who hit me.

"What the fuck," I swore at homework guy.

"Look in front of you, you dumbass," he smirked teasingly.

"What-"

And there, the sir stood with all his glory.

The one and only boy invading my thoughts was just smiling at me, looking completely amused.

I flushed in embarrassment.

I really didn't want him to see that part of myself, for come reason.

"Are you free today?" he asked me, glancing at homework boy who simply stared back with no clue in the world.

"Maybe," I said, trying to sound unabashed, when it was completely the opposite.

"Oh, she is completely free," homework boy said absent-mindedly, completely diluting my charm with that extremely annoying mouth of his, "she's jobless anyway."

I immediately scowled, trying to hide my urge to hit him.

I had almost forgotten how much of a pain in the ass he was. 

This moment was so perfect, so nice.

And this fucker ruins it with that ugly mouth of his.

"Is that so?" the boy breaks my chain of thoughts, making me realize just how tensed my face was.

Ah.

Did I just-

Did I just make an ugly face in front of my crush?

The blood rushed to my cheeks harder than before.

I couldn't really control it.

At that age, I never really knew how to differentiate simple liking and complex feelings of love. I'd get embarrassed for the smallest things, worried over the smallest things, and I would start liking over the smallest things.

"Y-yeah," I murmured bashfully, turning my head down a bit because I wanted to hide my face at that moment. 

That stupid fucker homework guy.

My crush, who was much more intuitive than that idiot, leaned closer, trying to whisper something in my ear.

"Can I walk you home then?" he asked me softly, making me want to die out of embarrassment.

That classroom was filled with echoes of my classmates, everyone rapidly talking to each other, girls and guys gossiping alike, guys playing their usual games, girls arm wrestling, people rapidly completing their homework, etc.

However, this boy was quite popular. People flocked around him left and right, and it wasn't surprising really.

But what was surprising was that nobody really paid attention at that moment. 

All I could feel was my embarrassed cheeks, and a warm breath grazing my ear for just a second. 

"Sure," I replied, my voice coming out firmer than I had intended.

As he moved away, I decided to take a small peek at his face.

And I could swear I saw a small smile on his lips.