Pharmuria (Boy x Boy)

Part Six

Needs Assessment: A process for figuring out deficiencies between current conditions and desired conditions.

I felt like I lived in a wondrous land with magical encounters when I belonged to Max. The walls in my cell were still dark and mundane, but being with the one I loved allowed me to view things in a rose-colored lens. When I was in his arms, even the rusty pipes below the sink looked glamorous. That was how good I felt when I was claimed for a relationship.

Some aspects of our lives changed and others didn't. When I took my morning shower, Max still looked away when I was undressed as it wasn't in his nature to be that forward from the get-go. He once told me that some of the others who watched over subjects were a bit pushy on their desires in this setting. I was thankful that Max was respectful in contrast. On the flip-side of things, 'cute stuff' was habitually used instead of 'Roy' as he shed the formality of my nickname for a pet name. Now that could he truly express his feelings around me, he didn't hold back from the cheesy aspects of romance.

I didn't mind if the relationship delved into the mushy side of things, because those were the aspects that I admired in-between the pages of a novel. Maybe Max and I weren't in an opportune romance setting like New York City or Los Angeles, but it still felt just as perfect.

Before, I used to think that a utopia needed to be a golden city with fun and joy on every street corner. One wouldn't find litter or adversity anywhere. The people would all be pleasant and caring. The atmosphere would be clean and healthy. Now, I realized I was underestimating the power of love. Forget every other part of the equation, when Max surrounded me with his love, he made my life seem like a wonderland.

While the man still had a job to do, he was broken free from his responsibilities after he gave dinner to the last subject in his group. Instead of leaving the complex, he instead returned to my cell to spend some time with me. Max would open up the cell door and I would greet him. It was almost as if I was welcoming him home, sans the fact he eventually had to leave at some point.

"I'm all yours," Max flashed me a grin one night as he walked into my cell. I sat on my bed and awaited for him to approach me, brandishing an expression of contentment myself. These were the late hours that I enjoyed the most. The hours where I didn't have to worry about him breaking away from a kiss because he had other subjects to tend to were cherishable ones indeed, because I could be as greedy as I wanted to when it came to his attention.

The man of my life stood before me as I looked him over. That night I was particularly craving some physical interaction. A hug was a go-to for that. "Hey," I started out, "is it okay if I have a-"

Max interrupted me before I could finish my request. "We're a little bit past the point of asking for hugs, cute stuff," he chuckled. "It's perfectly fine to hug me without asking. That's kinda what people in a relationship do."

"Right," I nodded in response. "Sorry." Ever since the start of this bond between us, Max had tried to convince me to see myself as a human rather than a subject. Especially since we now shared our hearts with each other, he wanted more than ever for me to view him as an equal. Most of the time, I obliged. Yet, there were still some instances where I fell into my subject headspace and approached things carefully. In this case: asking for a hug rather than just getting one myself.

"You sure like hugging, don't you?" he observed. "Here, I got an idea." In a quick motion, he slipped off his coat. He then unbuttoned the first few buttons of his shirt, exposing part of his chest. Getting onto the bed, he sat upright with his legs stretched out. I turned around to look at him and noticed he spread his legs before softly patting his thigh. "C'mere," Max invited me. "This is like hugging, just a bit more comfortable." He could've said cuddling. I wasn't that uncultured when it came to human interaction.