September 18, 2020
1 day before my birthday, here i am, it's past midnight already but still, i can't sleep :'( this is really upsetting me but on the bright side, i'm glad that i remember to write. anyway, to be honest, the reason why i can't sleep is i'm back again with my overthinking self, so many things are running on my mind right now, so many realization and thoughts untold that it keeps me awake, i always said this but i want to tell you again that this year is such a different year, i am almost 2 decade old but of all the year that i'm alive, i have never been experience a test and trials like this, so many things happened, so many broken heart, so many tears flowed in many's eyes, so many bad news that many's ears heard, with that, being part of that many, i always try to fight admist every negative and with my eagerness to win over every trials, i feel like every month, i have my different persona to the point that i dont know who really am I with that Personas, I want to tell to you that whatever you are going through right now, no matter how helpless the situation is, no matter how it hurts you, you have to keep moving, dont let even a second of your life to be stuck there, don't let yourself slow down, you have to keep going so it can't engulf you, it can't destroy your happiness. I realize now that i am too hard on myself, i always blame myself, i always look on my shortcomings, my wish for my birthday is to move on from everything and to focus on my self more. sincerely, I want to love myself more. I wish it for you too. please... let us love ourselves more. let us choose happiness. advance happy birthday self, To you, although it's weird to say but please let us tell this to ourselves simultaneously, i love you self.
