From their first kiss on set, Tul Pakorn Thanasrivanitchai and Max Nattapol Diloknawarit have been attracted to each other but even though they play gay men in a BL drama series, Tul knows this isn't how men with responsibilities can be - free.
Max...
It was a very scary time for the two men. They could no longer ignore their desires but they also could not fetter them. Max referred it to as the "Season of Rabbits." It basically meant that it no longer mattered, they simply couldn't keep their hands off each other. And if they touched, they fucked.
Tul was becoming bolder but Max now appeared liked the stable one, the one who pulled back. He always kept in mind what initially held his lover back - that he was fragile about being gossiped about. These days, there was plenty of gossip.
Everyone was talking about them. They couldn't turn up for events or award shows without causing a sensation. Reporters flooded them with questions regarding their sexual orientation and as always, Tul simply smiled and replied, "We're brothers." and Max would follow up with, "Close brothers."
Tul had purchased his own condo and while Max technically still lived at home following his graduation, he spent almost all his down time, when not working, living with Tul. The only ones who knew for sure the exact relationship between the two men were the bodyguards who escorted them to the fan meets. And the Manager who had given Max hell in China for playing with Tul's heart.
Max had not told Tul anything about his conversations with their manager. Tul would freak completely out if he knew that the manager also knew. Then again, the manager had know about Max's feeling from the start so it made perfect sense that he would see the differences in behaviour.
When Max struggled with Tul's insecurities or they had a fight, it was to the manager that he confided in. Tul had crazy mood swings. Max was a talker. He needed to talk out his problems and Tul was the opposite. He internalized everything until it made sense. It drove Max crazy.
One day the manager showed up unannounced at Tul's condo. Tul went crazy, wanting to hide as they were barely dressed and Max looked at Tul. "Tul, are you really ashamed to be with me?"
Max let the manager in, and led him in the living room. Tul was slowly freaking out in the bedroom. Max really didn't understand him. If the manager had wanted to talk, he could have. He had enough information over the past years to nail them.
"What? Fuck no, Max, I'm not." Tul dropped to the bed in surprise. "That's not what this is about at all." He leaned back and closed his eyes and sighed deeply. Keeping his eyes closed, "Max, do you trust him? The manager, I mean?"
"Completely." Max said without hesitation. "Trust him with both our lives."
"Fine, then open the door." Tul pulled his robe tighter around his waist and tied the belt. He sat neatly on the couch as Max escorted the manager in and greeted him.
"Boys, the production team has a new offer for you two." He said excitedly. "My only worry is that if you two are still hiding your new relationship, it won't work so well during filming."
Tul dropped his eyes. "What did you say?" He had not expected him to be open about their situation at all. To address it directly...
Max and the manger looked at each other. The manager spoke up, "Tul, I've known you for almost four years. Did you really think that Max and you could hide the changes that being together would bring?" He smiled gently and patted Tul's knee. "Boy, I'm a married man. I know what happens when two people live together."
Tul stood up and paced, biting his nails. He didn't like this at all. Not one bit, but if the manager knew it for certainly, how many others did too?
Max stood and caught him in a back hug. "Tul, it's okay. We're not being judged or talked about. This is a safe place. It's our home."
The manager nodded. "Yes, it is." He pulled out the new scripts for the series and laid them as well as a novel on the low table. "Here is the new project. I managed to get you a week to look them over, but you need to get back to me by next Monday."
He nodded at both boys. "Look, there will be lots of press with this show. The fans have been demanding for you two to act in a new series again. This is a BL series so it's going to be big. Talk it over seriously, because if you can't hide your current love life, IT won't be a private affair for very long."
Tul didn't say anything for a long time after the manager left, and Max was worried. He came and sat down and just cuddled him, the way he knew Tul liked. Tul snuggled deep into Max's chest and softly spoke, "How long, Max?"
"At least 2 years, but he's known I've had feelings for you longer."
"Why didn't you ever tell me?"
"I was sure you'd act just like this, Tul. I don't know why you have trust issues. You never talk to me." Frustration was evident in his voice.
"Ahh, yes," Tul sighed, "I have always put you off by saying one day, one day. I guess today is that one day, hmm?" He kept his face hidden as he spoke and Max could feel his body vibrate. Was Tul actually shaking in fear? It wasn't possible...
"Long story short," Tul began, "Boy in high school had a music teacher that was only a few years older than him. Boy had a huge crush. Music teacher knew boy had a crush, so liked to tease the boy. Boy told teacher he liked him. Teacher kissed him and did a few other not so innocent things."
Tul paused, lost in the hurtful memories. "They didn't have sex. I think it would have been better if it had been sex, instead the teacher just wanted enough pictures to bribe the boy's family to stay quiet. You see, loving the same sex was considered "dirty" or "wrong" in the school I attended." His voice trailed of as Max stroked the top of his head, offering silent comfort.
Tul started again, "'What that teacher never expected was for me to out the teacher. I told my parents, I told the principal and I told my classmates. I wasn't going to pay any bribe money. My parents are rich, not me." He sighed sadly. "My parents and the principal praised me for doing the right thing. My classmates called me names for the rest of the time I studied there. Right until I graduated, even though I graduated with honours, I was always called a rat."
"You see, Max, it's not about my sexuality at all. It's about invasion of privacy. This is our life. Ours and no one else's. They don't need to know."
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A/N: oh... We're so close to the end, my dear readers! I'm glad you've stuck with me on my editing journey. I shan't tell you how many chapters left for I'm trying to ensure that at least a 1000 word minimum is posted per chapter (so to be honest, I don't know ha!)
However, I don't have that many pages left to edit... We're at the Manner of Death stuff now. Isn't that exciting?
