California Dreamin': The Sequel to Leather & Lace

Chapter 20

After the first few weeks of Jax being in prison, it had gotten easier to sleep alone at night. Tinsley still woke up reaching for him from time to time but as his sentence dragged out, it got easier. Now that he was supposed to be home, she found herself unable to sleep without him there. And that was the problem, he wasn't there. Tinsley laid in bed, tossing and turning, unable to get comfortable and unable to settle her racing mind. She hadn't heard a word from Jax since their fight. Not that she had expected to. She knew he was pissed. She also knew that by now, he was good and drunk too which usually led to him calling and begging forgiveness for whatever it was he thought he needed forgiving for. But he hadn't called. He hadn't texted her. All of which made her worry for him and for their relationship. She knew she had fucked up and that he would need time to get his head straight but she thought he would have cane home. Thoughts of what he could be doing started to filter into her brain.
Was he having an affair?
Was he hurt?
Who was he with?
Breathing deep, she willed herself to stop thinking negatively.
He's more than likely at the club house, passed out in his dorm, and sleeping off his drunk Tinsley thought to herself. At least that's what's she hoped.  She hoped that where ever he was, he was safe. Glancing at the clock on the bedside table, she saw that it was nearing 1:00 in the morning. She needed to get up in less that four hours to prepare for a long day at the bakery.

Deciding it was pointless to lay in bed and toss and turn any longer, she slipped on a pair of workout shorts and a sports bra and went downstairs. She picked up toys, folded laundry, and cleaned the kitchen even though it was already clean. She stared another load of laundry and then a pot of coffee. If she wasn't going to be getting any sleep, she would definitely need to be caffeinated.

By 4:30 that morning, she had done her HIIT workout, packed bags for the kids for the day, put away all the laundry, and even set the automatic vacuum for the pool to run. Between it all though, she worried about Jax. He had said he would be back later but that was before their fight. Was he really that mad at her for the things she had said? She didn't know. She couldn't take the unknown any longer and she needed to get a few things off her chest. Grabbing her phone from the charger upstairs, she dialed his number. Of course, she didnt get an answer so she decided to leave him a voicemail.

"Hey Baby. It's me. Just calling to make sure your okay. I'm worried that you didn't come home m. You said you would but that was before our fight. I'm so sorry baby. I never meant to hurt you. I hope you know that. I hid those letters because I didn't want to hurt you.  And I knew without a shadow of a doubt that if you read them, they would hurt you and while I wouldn't have been the one to do, I would have still felt like I could have done something to prevent it. You have had enough pain Jax. So much pain. So much hurt. I only want happiness for you. I hope you know that. I won't apologize for my feelings about Opie though but I won't get into that conversation over a voicemail. Anyways, please call me and let me know that you're ok. I love you."

Ending the call, she placed her phone on the bedside table and willed it to ring. After 20 minutes of staring at it, she gave up and went and got a shower to begin her day.

🌴🌴🌴🌴🌴

Jax laid on bed at his dorm at the club house and listened to the voicemail Tinsley had left him. He had watched the phone ring but couldn't bring himself to answer. Not after what he had done tonight. Yes, he had been mad at her and he had been drunk off his ass but that wasn't an excuse for the things that had happened tonight. While his wife had been home alone with the kids, he had been screwing a porn slut and taking out his frustration on the woman who was always available to any guy at the club. As if I'm cue, the leggy blonde porn star walked out of the bathroom wearing his shirt, stopping in the doorway. The combination of her perfume, the act he had just committed, and the heartfelt voicemail Tinsley had just left him, his stomach rolled. He was going to be sick. Running for the bathroom, he pushed the leggy blonde aside and just barely made it to the commode before spewing every ounce of alcohol he had drank into it. When he was finally done, he sat down on the cool tile floor of the bathroom and stared off into space. That's when the leggy blonde walked over to him and crouched in front of him. She ran her hands up and down his arms before speaking.

"I know what will make you feel all better." Said the blonde in her pornstar voice.

"You need to leave" said Jax. Just hearing her voice had him ready to blow chunks again.

"But..."

"LEAVE NOW, Ima."

"You're a fucking asshole. You know that?" Said Ima as she gather up her clothes.

"You don't have to tell me that. I already know." Said Jax just before he hung his head in shame. He didn't even hear her when she walked out. All he knew was that when Tinsley found out what he had done tonight, his life would be over. He knew she would leave and carry his kids with her. He had lost her once before for doing something that was no where as despicable as this. He had barely gotten her back that time. If and when she found out about this, she would leave and there would be no turning back.

"What the fuck have I done?" whispered Jax in the silence of the bathroom. "What the fuck was I thinking?"