Conspiracy Theory Time :D

Spongebob isn't Kid Friendly

I'm sure by now most of you have heard these theores. Yes, theories I'm writing two theories in one chapter to make up for the gigantic gap since I last wrote in this online book/website thing.

NOTE: I'm not a huge fan on it but I'm not a huge fan of Spongebob either. So with that ... LET'S BEGIN!

WARNING: I CAN'T THINK OF A WARNING BECAUSE A FEW DOGS ARE BARKING ANNOYINGLY OUTSIDE!!!!

Spongebob and the Seven Deadly Sins(echoing effect)!!!

So Spongebob and the deadly sins!? I mean truthfully this is a kid show, even if all kid shows have innuendos for adults.

THE SEVEN DEADLY SPONGEBOB SINS:

1)Spongebob equals LUST: Now wait a second... what the hell! Did I hear this right? Spongebob... is Lust! Okay, maybe this is because of his love over krabby patties... but lust? It's more of just over-dramatic psycho love if you ask me(cue awkward photo of spongebob and the krabby patty he dressed up as a girl) Oh... yeah. I forgot about that for a second. Do you guys remember when Spongebob made a krabby patty out of a burger that fell on the floor (insanitary for a resturaunt) and later on he ended up dressing it up like a girl and pretending it was his girlfriend. Now this my folks, I think, is the closest we'll EVER see Spongebob in a quote on quote 'lustful' mood.... if you can even call it that. 

2)Patrick equals Sloth: Now to be honest the entire series, has always shown Patrick as 'sloth'-like. I mean he's always been slow and a little dumb when it comes to things. However, he could have a disorder... or it could be that the creator of the show wanted to give kids who act like Patrick someone to look up to? Or not. But you see I understand why they placed Patrick under this category because he's sloth-like.

3)Squidward equals Wrath: Wrath is basically hatred and anger. Which yes, Squidward does have problems with... but overall he's just a squid who wants a girlfriend who likes his music and neighbors who don't knock on his door all the time and ask him to do stupid stuff.

If your neighbor asked you to go fishing with them when you're busy would you? I mean honestly? So I again, understand why they placed Squidward down as Wrath but you also need to look at the fact that he's just a squid who wants some peace and quiet in his life. Just to play music.

4)Sandy equals Pride: This is true. Sandy is always talking about Texas, where she's from. How good she is at certain things (like using rope like a cowgirl). She enjoys proving she's right and others are wrong, like during that episode when they were all arguing about whether land or sea creatures were better.

5)Mr.Krabs equals Greed: When has he not? I mean name one episode where he's okay with not making money or giving up/away money? I mean he's ALWAYS been greedy Mr.Krabs... but he's got some positives to him too. You may not notice, but it a way it seems like he cares for Spongebob... deep... deep.... DEEP.... DEEP down in his heart.

6)Plankton equals Envy: He's always envious of Mr.Krabs and how successful he is. I mean, who could blame him when he's married to a grouchy wife that's a computer? They both however truly care about each other deep down. Which is kind of romantic... and odd.

7)Gary equals Gluttony: Actually, Gary equals my cat. No, seriously though. Gluttony means over indulgence of food, which when you think about it is funny. Because you always have to feed Thunderstorm... I mean Gary. (My cat eats a lot... he's a large cat though and still surprisingly skinny! Go Russian Blue/Manx!) Don't forget to feed Gary and Oops, gotta go feed Gary.

OVERALL IMPRESSION: To be honest I never really cared much for this conspiracy in the first place... but because of the evidence I have thought of while writing this I give it a

FICTION OR NON FICTION: Possible Non-Fiction Badge

RATING: 8 deadly spongebob characters out of ten

SPONGEBOB NUCLEAR TESTING!!!

What if Spongebob and his friends were just some byproduct of Nuclear Testing?

Yes, my friends there comes a time in every humans life when they wonder what is the logic behind  Spongebob and how did it start?

What if I told you there was a place actually called Bikini? Well, there is. Bikini Atoll, Google it if you like. You'll see that something odd will appear... the words 'nuclear' and 'explosion'. There was an explosion there as websites have informed me (besides wiki...)  This all happened around the 1940s-1950s era, which I'm assuming means during the Nuclear Arms War? Anyway, are friends live at the very bottom of Bikini Atoll thus the name Bikini Bottom.

(fictional story)

After the explosion, the bottom of Bikini Atoll happened to still have high radiation thus bringing our favorite spongebob characters to life and giving them a purpose.

OVERALL IMPRESSION:

FICTIONAL OR NON-FICTIONAL: I have to say while the radiation and the history put me on the edge of my seat the evidence is still lacking... like computer in the ocean and why there's Sandy, the squirrel. Then again this is a fictional story.

RATING: 4 bikini bottoms out of ten

Thanks for reading! Please comment your opinions on these theories because I'd love to hear them!

Clockwork_Nephilim SIGNING OUT!!!!