wolfstar (and other hp shtuff) oneshots

Remus Lupin angst

Start writing 23:43

TW: swearing, emotions, angst, mentions of m*rd*r and d*ath, mentions of alc*h*l, hints at ab*se, spiralling mental state

October 31st 1981.

The worst nightmare of Remus Lupin's life. He was only 21 and yet here he was. Alone. On the kitchen floor. No friends left.

His best friends. Lily and James.  Dead. Betrayed by one that they trusted. Their son. Harry. Taken by Dumbledore (a/n Dumbleton) to live with Lily's sister. His other best friend. Peter. A traitor to all of them. And now he was dead too.

And Sirius. His own Sirius. His boyfriend. A murderer. Killed 12 muggles and Peter in a fit of rage.

Remus wanted nothing more than to wake up from this nightmare (a/n 2020 mood). For it all to be okay. He wanted to wake up next to his boyfriend. To go see his friends. To not be sitting on his kitchen floor, wondering how he's supposed to continue after this night. This horrible, horrible night.

If Sirius had just been able to get Harry before Hagrid did then half of this mess wouldn't be happening. His boyfriend would be here. His unofficial nephew would be here. Peter would have been properly charged for his crimes.

But no. Everything had to go to shit. And here he is. On the kitchen floor. Eyes run out of tears. Throat run out of sound. Wishing he could cry more. Though he supposed he could never cry enough tears for all the pain he feels.

And Harry would grow up with muggles. Remus knew what Lily's sister was like. He knew that Harry wouldn't be treated right there. He wouldn't know what really happened until he got into the wizarding world. If he ever did, Harry could be a squib after all.

Remus considered contacting the rest of his friends. The ones from Lily's dorm. But he decided not to. He would see them at the funeral (a/n fxuxneral).

Fuck, he had to organise the funeral. His best friends' funeral.

And no one in the wizarding (a/n wozarding) world would hire a werewolf. The only way to pay for it would be to get a muggle job and transfer the currencies. Not that any muggle job would cover his living costs and a funeral. With Sirius in Azkaban it wasn't like he could keep using the Black Family fortune to pay rent.

Remus cursed the world. He cursed the teen who wanted power so badly he became a racist genocidal maniac. He cursed the boy that he hadn't shown enough love to that had turned to the dark side. He cursed the professor that he had trusted for taking his nephew from him and giving him to hateful muggles. He cursed his boyfriend's impulsive nature and how it had torn them away from each other and their happiness.

He got up off the floor, walked to the sink and poured himself a glass of water. Then caved and decided that Sirius' cabinet of assorted muggle and wizard alcohol was going to finally come in handy. Feeling wasn't something Remus Lupin wanted to be doing tonight.

504 words. Finished at 00:12.

Haven't proofread or edited bc idc. Short and angsty, just how I like it. It's just easier to write but idk why.

Also I've never had alcohol so idk if the last sentence is right. I could ask some of my friends but I don't want to explain that the only reason I want to know is because I'm writing.