Ribs - bokuaka

Chapter 12

    Neither of us said a word after we got off the Ferris wheel. In fact, Bokuto doesn't even glance in my direction until we get back to the car. But he doesn't let go of my hand. That's my only saving grace here, if he were to let go I don't know what I would do.     

    Unable to stand the silence anymore, I decide to say something when we reach the car. "Bokuto, is that why you asked me to come with you?"

    He looks relatively startled by my question. It takes him nearly a full minute to think of his response. "Um, kind of. Not... not really." He sounds incredibly nervous, and I hate that it's partially my fault. 

    "You don't have to tell me," I say, giving his hand a gentle squeeze. I don't want to ruin our night with my curiosity. Especially since it doesn't really matter to me why he asked me to come, I would have gone regardless. I know that now.

    I set the bear he won me on the hood of the car, so that I can hug him again. He practically melts into it, probably relieved that I didn't pry him any further. The previous chill caused by the night air
immediately leaves when his arms are around me. He's warm, and I can't help but feel comforted by his presence. He doesn't even have to say or do anything for me to feel at home with him.

    We stand there like that for a while, not saying much of anything. I can feel people staring at us as they pass to get to their cars, but Bokuto doesn't seem to care, so I convince myself that I don't either. In this moment, I could be anywhere, and it wouldn't matter so long as he were with me.

    Bokuto is the one to break the silence this time. "Can I drive?" I just nod in response and we go to get into the car. I nearly forget about the bear, but remember in time to grab it before we drive off with it on the hood.

    In the car, we just talk. We talk for hours, about anything we can think to talk about. It's strange, I don't think I have ever held a conversation for this long. But it doesn't feel tiring and unnecessary like usual. I find myself agonizing over every pause, wanting so badly to hear Bokuto's voice. It's like I'm meeting him for the first time all over again. I already know most of the things he is telling me, but now they seem like the most interesting things in the world.

    I learn that Bokuto's favorite drink isn't actually orange soda, it's apple juice, and he just told everyone otherwise because he didn't want to seem childish. I tell him I don't think that's childish, and he gets that big smile on his face. I would do anything to see him smile like that all the time.

    "You look pretty when you smile," Bokuto says. It's like he took the words right out of my mouth. I hadn't even realized I was smiling, but when he mentions that I can feel my cheeks heat up. I am very grateful that it's dark, I would never live it down if he caught me blushing.

    I've never been good at receiving compliments, so I just stare over at him. He laughs at my silence. "I mean it, Akaashi! You have a pretty smile. It's like... You remind me of those angels they put all over everything at christmas time!"

    It's my turn to laugh, albeit quietly. "Thank you," I hesitantly reply. I wonder if I should tell him how much I love his smile, but he starts to talk again before I get the chance to.

    Eventually, I fall asleep. I hear him whisper something as my eyes drift shut, but I can't quite place what it is. I try to wake myself up, so that I can ask him to say it again. But I am too tired. I curse myself for having human needs, and drift off into a peaceful slumber.

   "Thank you, Akaashi."