Temporary -An Aaron Hotchner Story-

18

Alessandra's POV

When I spend time with my brother it usually goes like this: Spencer will go into my kitchen and find something to snack on before making himself comfortable and having intelligent discussions with me for hours on end. Sometimes the discussions turn into heated debates where we argue until the sun goes down and even with absolutely no light coming into the apartment we keep arguing because we're both incredibly stubborn.

We'll have a pause in the middle of everything to eat.

I'll usually cook.

He'll grab a book and read it in it's entirety just before I set the table and he puts it back in the exact place he found it before sitting down and eating.

Mealtimes are probably where we laugh the most.

It's the only time where Spencer's brain stops working so fast that he doesn't feel the need to share some of the information he keeps to himself most of the time. He makes jokes and we reminisce about past times we've had whether as kids, or in college, sometimes even as adults.

Sometimes, we skip the discussions and spend the entire time at the kitchen table, especially lately. He worries about me. Of course, he'll never admit it, but it shows in his actions.

"When's the last time you saw Mom" is the inevitable question I always get, and I try my best to just move past it, but with him it's impossible.

I was the one who suggested we put our mother in a medical facility, but I didn't do it because I thought of her as a burden.

If I could, I would've spent my entire life taking care of my mother, but I had a career and without constant attention, she would deteriorate.

I'd already spent most of my life watching out for her and caring for her and I didn't want Spencer to continue the cycle.

My decision was for his benefit and she knew that and that's why she never argued with me.

He hated me for it.

Part of me thinks he still holds some small amount of hate in his heart for me, but I had to do it.

*10 years ago*

"Mom" I step into the house seeing the piles and piles of books and notes scattered all over the place, carefully, I step around them and find my mom at the table scribbling hurriedly onto the notepad in front of her.

"Mom" I call out to her again, but she's too lost in her own mind to hear me.

She's writing her thoughts.

It was something I suggested to help her develop some form of stability, but I may have just made it worse.

"MOM" I finally yell, but she doesn't jump, she just looks up at me as if I had whispered gently in her ear. "Alessandra, baby. You look amazing" she compliments and I just have a seat on the chair next to her asking "How are you, Mom" but she immediately starts looking around "Where's Spencer?"

Of course.

"He isn't here, Mom. He's at a lecture in D.C" I explain to her and she nods "Always studying, my little genius. I always tell him he has to exercise his mind for at least 3 hours every day" making my lip quiver.

Tears brim in my eyes.

I should never have lied to her, but I'm not built to handle the pressure.

This way, even with all the pressure put on Spencer, I have the ability to help him alleviate some of it.

"Mom, I need to talk to you about something" I tell her and she puts her notepad down "Are you pregnant" she asks drastically and I'm taken aback. "What?! NO" I defend and she sighs in relief before asking "Well, what is it" and I take deep breath.