It was an endless cycle of panic and stress, it only reached its peak when whatever grabbed me screamed louder than me and smiled, making my heart stop as my eyes rolled back into my head.
"Tris, hey, can you hear me?"
With a small shake, I woke out of my black state of consciousness. Although I wasn't calm squirming and all, I was about to scream again, but Victor pulled me into a slow kiss. His warm embrace, and gentle arms cradling my shoulders, brought me back to reality. Once he pulled away, I took a shaky breath. We were in the middle of the woods, did I really walk all the way out here?
"Do you mind if she sleeps at my place tonight?"
"No, she definitely needs some space."
Victor now standing up, Emily kneeled down to me on the leaf filled dirt, and pulled out the bobby pins slowly. As my hair flopped down, she tried to lift my gaze, I turned away from her.
"Family isn't what she needs, and the fact you spent five hours trying to find her, you've earned my respect."
"Thank you."
As they shook hands, mine finally stopped shaking. Emily drove off not too long after, while Victor draped his jacket over me as I shivered. Helping me put my arms through before picking me up in his arms bridal style.
"It's going to be okay."
Victor said, as I wrapped my arms around his neck, tucking my head into the base of his neck. I could barely speak. I didn't know what to say, all I could think of was what just happened to me?
"Are you still cold?"
I nodded no to Victor, as he placed me in his car, turning the engine over. Swallowing slowly, I rubbed the back of my neck, finding my gaze land on the woods I was previously pulled out of. The ring was gone, but still voices preceded in the wind that weaved through the tree line.
"Hey-"
I flinched at Victor's touch, but relaxed since his hand was warm, and resting on my chin.
"It's okay."
It wasn't, it really wasn't. Victor pulled off gently, heading to his home. My eyes lazily gazed out the window, then I retracted it, just staring at my hands. Scratches lined my fingers, probably from my struggling, and now for the first time in 18 years I don't know what to do.
"I'm going to pick you up again okay?"
Nodding again, Victor picked me up into his arms, slowly opening up the door before placing me on his kitchen counter. Looking around, his house wasn't ready for guests yet, but any home with me like this is fine. He shuffled around cleaning some surfaces before helping me down into the couch.
"Are you hungry?"
I started to nod no, but that'd be a lie, he could read it in my motions. Passing me an apple, I bit it, slowly chewing. I swallowed the slice and decided to try speaking.
"I..."
Was the first word that come out, before a lump formed in my throat. Victor noticed I was trying, and sat down next to me, as I placed the apple to the side.
"I don't know what happened to me."
I continued, hugging his coat onto me a little more.
"I was just filled with panic."
"About what?"
On cue my hands started to tremble, as Victor gently took my hands in his own.
"Dark things have happened to my family members, specifically in my childhood house. When I was young, I guess I just compartmentalized it. The suicide, the abusive husbands..."
Victor got the look again, like a protective dog, and so I retorted before he could.
"None of it ever happened to me, just my siblings."
"That doesn't mean it didn't effect you-"
"That's the part that doesn't make sense, why am I the one suffering?"
"Tris, what happened at the party that you ended up in the woods."
My eyes went down, Victor lifted my gaze with his finger, locking eyes with me,
"Tris."
"My parents tried to set me up with a girl, disrespecting my sister Emily in the process. My Mom blew something into my face, and that's when me and the girl got pretty close. The moment I said I wanted to stay a virgin she tried to rip my clothes off and I punched her into my glass table."
"Into the glass table?"
"That's right, into, then that's when I started to hallucinate about my younger years. Though I've been fighting it since I've been 10 years old, today I just gave into it."
Squeezing Victors hands, I spotted something like a ring in his pocket. As a thought entered my head.
"How does it start?-"
"You're wife just died I don't know if we should be seeing each other like this-"
"Tris don't."
"Don't what?"
"Don't shove it away now, you have to face it."
That's when I stood up, him too.
"Face what?!"
"You have to feel Tris!"
"I don't want to, I don't want to go back..."
That's when my voice started to break, the figure from before was bringing tears to my eyes, as I whimpered trying to back away. Victor hugged me to his chest, as I tried to push him away.
"Let me go!-"
"Feel Tris."
I kneed him in the chest but he still didn't let go, and by then I was already sinking into his arms going into a cry. After a few seconds, I hugged him back, continuing to cry into his shoulder. Sitting on the floor together, he cradled me even when I ran out of tears, just holding me close.
"You're so stupid..."
I irked out as Victor chuckled, sleep heavily pulling on me. He noticed and picked me up, placing me down in his guest bedroom. He started to leave, but I gripped his arm.
"Stay, please..."
"Okay."
Letting go, I scooted over so Victor had space, as he climbed onto the bed with me. Hugging me from the back, he kissed my chin, whispering in my ear.
"I'm not going anywhere."
That made me smile, as I drifted off to sleep.
