behind the curtains | jhs.

ɪɪ. chapter ten

  The final stretch. The final week. Literally six more days until my flight to Atlanta and I was excited. Even after I read that fuckass article with proof of pictures, I couldn't be bothered. He wanted to leave me for a blondie that paid money to get features that I have? Good for him. Fuck him.

I went to our practice with a fake smile screwed onto my face. I wasn't going to have anyone see my demeanor slip because of this. Probably the tensest rehearsal that I've had to be in and I was one of the first people out of the room when we were done. What I didn't expect to see was Momo waiting for me with a huge smile, "Let's go out for a walk and eat."

—

Surprisingly, Hoseok's name was not brought up during the time I was with Momo. It was just something to clear my head and it felt nice. It almost made me forget about the whole Kimberely and Hoseok situation. Almost.

I didn't watch the video because I refused to actually. I was just very... confused, maybe bothered? Whatever.

Momo and I ended our little hangout session after two hours to get back to where everyone else was. It was like we were on a hotel tour more than anything but it was way better than sleeping on the tour bus so I didn't mind. I shared a room with Kimberely again and it was pretty awkward to say the least. She kept staring at me and I eventually sighed and looked at her.

"Sorry, I just," Kimberely started to tear up and I frowned. I didn't like people crying in front of me. However, she looked extremely hurt. "I'm so hurt. The media is tearing my name up and I just—all me and Hoseok did was makeout. I'm sure that he's not interested in me like that and I'm not that much into him. He just looked so hot, I couldn't resist."

I opened and closed my mouth as she continued to speak. "How did you deal with this?" Pardon?

"What?"

"I know that the leak was you and Hoseok," Kimberely told me with a bit of a frown, "it's not hard to... get. Yeah..."

"Um..."

"Was there anything with you and Hoseok? Any relationship, I feel so bad—"

"—Hoseok and I never dated," I lied with a shrug, "I don't know him like that as a person."

"I just thought that maybe you two were dating and then broke up..." Kimberely said with a small smile. "I could see it happening."

I didn't say anything. All I did was look at her and looked up at the ceiling. Yeah, that wasn't sitting right with me. So I contacted Namjoon.

—

"So you think that Kimberely did it?"

"I don't know," I sighed as I downed my second bottle of soju, "it's just odd. Isn't that odd to you?"

"It is, man," Namjoon sighed and I felt bad for stressing him out, he's a great guy, "tour ends in five more days. Are you excited?" I nodded so hard that I almost banged my head on something. "Damn... so excited to leave me and Jia? I'm hurt."

"I'll miss you guys," I said in all honesty. The three of us became so close and I loved hanging out with them in Korea, "I've been all over Asia more than I've been at home. It's a problem now."

"You're right," Namjoon chuckled, "I guess I'll just miss you a lot. You better take care of yourself when you get home."

"I will, I will!"

—

Daegu was probably the most memorable moments of tour. Why? I'll tell you.

So, I'm sweaty and I'm ready to shower and maybe eat some fried chicken after the show. Plus, my period came the day before so I'm crampy but I had to dance through it. Momo felt my pain and provided me with extra tampons: the GOAT. However, I'm on my way to my dressing room and a bunch of police officers were taking away two familiar faces. Hoseok looked pissed off and Namjoon was there with Momo as well to console him.

What the fuck happened? I didn't even care because I was hungry and grouchy at the time. By the time, I'm clean from the shower and dressed in my pajamas... Namjoon was standing outside the door with a sad smile.

"Uh, you're scaring me... what's up?"

"So, two dancers were arrested," Namjoon informed me and I furrowed my eyebrows. I didn't give a damn.

"Ah, that sucks. Why?"

"They were the ones that leaked your tape," Namjoon was angrier than me at that moment, "those fucking bastards were caught taping Hoseok's room then when Hoseok confronted them, they cracked. They're creeps, they put a camera in your choker... they said they suspected that you and Hoseok were together and—"

"Oh... I—" I took a deep breath. It was a lot to take in. "Namjoon, tour is almost over. I don't care anymore honestly, good thing they'll be taken care of but I'm literally going home soon. I wanna be stress-free."

I walked off to join everyone else on the tour buses. Right when I was about to step on the tour bus with all the other dancers, I felt my wrist being held. I didn't even need to turn around to know it was Hoseok. His hands held my body too many times for me to not know. I shook it off and continued to go on the bus. I didn't need any of this. I didn't deserve any of the drama.

—

As expected, when we touched down in Gwangju, Hoseok kept texting me. Literal pleas for us to at least talk and I agreed. So, we went to his place in Gwangju and I did a great job at showing him that I was over the shit. He sat on the couch while I was just standing at the edge of the couch, away from him.

"I just wanted to talk."

"Obviously."

"I've been an asshole."

"Mhm."

"I'm sorry—I was just angry and—"

"—right," I was unimpressed, I didn't get the need for the talk, "I'm going home in four days, Hoseok. I don't give a shit about this anymore. The video is gone from the internet now, although, whatever is posted on the internet stays, regardless, my identity hasn't been proven yet. I'm okay with leaving this how it is."

"Cierra—"

"—I'm going to leave now," I pointed to the door, "I'll call a cab or—"

"—just stay, please," Hoseok begged and stood up, "just stay in the guest room. I won't bother you. It's past midnight and I don't want anything bad to happen to you."

"Nah, I think I'll be fine," I held on tightly to my bags, "thanks for the chat..."

"—just talk to me!" Hoseok pleaded when I reached the door. "I know I've been unfair—"

"Unfair?!" I turned around at that ans bitterly laugh. "You've been more than that... you've been cruel. You think this only affected you?! You think that I wanted this to happen?! Then, you're gonna kiss some other bitch less than a month after we break up?! Fuck you!"

"That kiss meant nothing to me," Hoseok told me and looked me in my eyes. I knew he wasn't lying about that but I felt hurt. "Jae and Taeyong were the ones that leaked the video and I—I can't believe that I blamed you. I was just bitter from our break up and I know I had no right to be. Cierra..."

"This conversation has been nothing but a waste of my time," I muttered and opened the door, "goodbye—"

"—I'll drive you to the hotel," Hoseok offered with his car keys in hand, "just let me do that for you."

I wanted to say no but I knew that I would've felt uncomfortable with roaming the streets of Gwangju by myself looking for a cab so I just shrugged, "Alright."

  I couldn't wait to get back home.

—

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