The Devil With The Face of an Angel | Irondad, pepperony

Chapter 70

She spent the rest of the day in bed, lying under a blanket, staring at the opposite wall, trying to hold back tears. It didn't quite work out for her, because as soon as she got home and closed the door behind her, she started crying and it couldn't just be stopped. And when she calmed down, at least for a moment, it overwhelmed her again. She was helpless. It destroyed her, it tore her heart to pieces, and the consciousness, the cruel truth, suffocated her. She felt defenseless, like an animal cub staring into the face of death.

She didn't understand why it happened. She tried to avoid stressful situations. She ate healthily. She watched her regular sleep pattern. Everything was fine after all. So why did it happen? Was there just something wrong inside her body? Has it always been that way? Was the baby in a hostile environment?

About nine o'clock she got out of bed. She was so weak, torn, and sad. She could think of only one thing: her unborn child, who would never hold in her arms. She would never hear their laughter, she would never proudly watch them take their first steps, how they would yell at various syllables, as they call her Mommy. Pepper was sick, ran quickly to the bathroom, and vomited the contents of her stomach. Then she was crying again as if she should never stop.

As she got up and slowly rinsed her face, she looked at her reflection in the mirror. Her eyes were red and swollen, her lips dry, and her face deadly pale. She put her hand on her stomach shakily. She will never feel the little one kick. It was just... gone. There was nothing she could do about it. She would never know Tony's reaction, she would never know if they had a baby boy or a baby girl. She would never see Peter behaving in the arms of his younger sibling.

"Oh God, God," she whispered to herself in a shaky voice. Then she dried her face and went to the kitchen. She had no plans to eat. She just poured some water into her glass and drank it in small sips. Her gaze fell on the phone lying on the table. Why didn't she just tell Natasha? She could trust her. On the one hand, she preferred not to be comforted by empty words, but perhaps she would now welcome to confide in someone and have a shoulder on which to cry. To have someone here who can carry the burden with her.

She sighed and set the glass down on the kitchen counter. Then she reached for her phone and began slowly going through her contacts. She clicked on the small icon, dialed the number, and put the phone to her ear. There was a soft beep. And then he answered the call.

"Yes?" he said in a weak voice, and Pepper was startled. She was so afraid that something had happened to him that she had completely forgotten to be happy to hear him again.

"Hi, honey. I just wanted to thank you for writing me back at all. I was afraid you would never want to hear from me again. I was really pleased. Is everything okay? How are you?" she asked softly, biting her lip to keep from crying again. There was a wild emotional storm inside her, which she had not yet been able to tame.

"Um, yeah, nothing's happening. I am - well, I am doing fine. How are you?" he replied cautiously, and she closed her eyes. She longed so much to be able to hold him tight again in her arms, to kiss him in the hair, and to look into those understanding eyes that were identical with Tony's. "Mom?" Peter's voice sounded a little frightened, though he tried to suppress it.

"I'm sorry, I - I just thought a little. Peter, I want you to know that I'm really sorry about all this. I should never have left, but I was afraid that - well, Mary is your mother. She has a bigger right to you than I do, and I didn't want to stand in her way if you decided to come back together," she explained carefully. She needed to tell him, she needed him to understand. It had been suffocating for too long. Salt waterfalls began to run down her cheeks again. "Forgive me. I'm so sorry."

"Is everything really okay?"

It is not.

"Yes of course. I just want to see you. Somehow explain it to you. I miss you so much, Peter. Do you think that would work for you? Sometimes?" she asked him hopefully. She heard Peter inhale on the other side and closed her eyes.

"I... I miss you too. I'm just kind of fighting with myself and I don't know what to think about everything. Maybe if we met, it would be easier. Dad still wanted to go to dinner sometime. Could we - do you think it would be possible for us to meet sometime before that dinner? If you want to?" He didn't care if he had any doubts anymore, he just needed his mom. As soon as possible.

"Of course, of course, that it could be done," she said quickly. "Whenever it suits you. I'll adapt," she assured him.

"All right, sometimes we can arrange it. I'm sorry, I'll have to go."

"I love you, baby."

"I love you too. Mom."

The phone went deaf. Pepper exhaled and hurriedly wiped away her tears. She has to start working to get her life back together.

•••

"Who was that?" Natasha asked curiously as she peered into his room and found Peter staring at the phone in his hand. "Peter?"

"It was - my mom called," he replied absently.

"Mary?"

"No," he said impatiently, "Mom."

"Pepper?" Natasha understood, barely suppressing happiness in her voice.

"We want to meet together sometime," he admitted, and Nat couldn't help but hug him. But when Peter hissed in pain, she pulled away in confusion.

"Peter, what's going on? And why do you have such a mess here?" she asked as she looked around his room. All sorts of things were lying everywhere. The lamp was overturned, and even the flowerpot, which normally stood on the cupboard, lay on the floor, spilling clay. "Peter! What the hell were you doing here?"

"Nat, I feel like..." he took a deep breath and looked at his palms as if they could give him an answer. Natasha noticed the bruises on his arms. She was terrified.

"Peter! What the hell is going on?"

"I feel like I'm losing my powers," he admitted, and Nat paused.

"Okay, we really need Bruce for this," she decided, and her uncompromising look told Peter that there was no point in trying to make excuses.