The Devil With The Face of an Angel | Irondad, pepperony

Chapter 50

They met in a small cafe not far from the school. Peter had never been there, but he didn't care where they met, especially when there were at least a handful of people around. He didn't want to argue with Mary unnecessarily, and he also wished that their first proper conversation would be over soon.

He went inside and looked around. Mary was already sitting at a table drinking coffee. Peter took a deep breath to give himself some courage, then headed to her.

"Hello," he greeted her and sat down. She smiled brightly at him and his stomach twisted. No, he simply didn't feel well in her presence. It was all... fake. Not as natural as it was with Pepper from the beginning. Sadness hit him again of the thought of her.

"Hi, Peter. I'm really glad you came, I appreciate it," Mary said. "Do you want anything?"

"No, that's good. Maybe just water," he admitted as she gave him a look. Mary ordered, and after a while, the waitress brought him a glass of water with a slice of lemon. He drank. "So... you wanted to talk about something?"

"Well, you can say it that way. But I wanted to explain it to you and learn something about you if you let me," she told him and smiled. Peter nodded abruptly at her to speak, and she linked her fingers to the canopy. "I actually started it a little bit last time. I met your dad through Mr. Stane, but you probably don't remember him, you were still very young."

"I wasn't that young," Peter said coldly, folding his arms across his chest. "Actually, I quite remember him. He threatened Dad, and he paid for it."

Mary swallowed and her smile faded slightly. "Yes. Yes, of course, you weren't so young. I just... I'm sorry, it's hard for me and I'll never forgive myself for such a mistake," she whispered, lowering her eyes. Peter couldn't help but feel a little sting of regret. No, he said to himself, she is the one to blame.

"Your dad and I soon found our way to each other. After a while, I got pregnant. I was really young, ambitious, heading for the top of my career. Of course, I loved you, Peter. Every mother loves her baby, I just didn't give you that much love. I never regret that you were born, but I was in conflict with myself. I couldn't do it. It was either you or my job. I had a lot of projects, they relied on me. I tried to finish them in time so I could take care of you while you still wanted it. But I failed."

"Yes, you failed as a mother. What kind of mom will leave her child for work?" Peter shook his head.

"I didn't have compared priorities. I saw the importance of where it was not. I didn't realize what a miracle had happened in my life. I was blind and selfish. And I paid a lot for it. I'm not trying to make my decision - to apologize for them, I know it can't be undone," she continued in a trembling voice, raising her teary eyes to him, "I still ask you for forgiveness. Not now. But... one day maybe. I really care about it. One sometimes makes really big mistakes. If I could, I would try to fix it."

"I can forgive you. But forget? I'm sorry, but I can't. You hurt Dad. Me. When we were finally happy, you lied to Pepper. If you thought we'd take you back after something like that - after so many years..."

"I know it was stupid. But I was really desperate, Peter," Mary interrupted him quickly. "If you were in my situation, you would understand why and what I did. People do all sorts of things in despair so that they don't lose what they love. I lost you through my guilt, but I still hoped there was some hope."

"Why now? After all this time?"

"In the first two years or so, I tried to forget about you, and I was also overwhelmed with work. But over time, I began to realize what I had lost and how incomplete I was. How I miss something. I tried to forget about you, but the harder I tried, the worse it got. I felt like I was drowning and couldn't swim above the surface. I tried to suppress it all. But one day it exploded and I realized that you would be a part of me forever, that you would never leave, and that I could not live without you."

"But you can't come back to us, it's too late," Peter said, but no matter how hard he tried, he felt sorry for her. That's natural, isn't it? "Dad doesn't love you. He has Pepper. And I don't see you as a mom. I don't feel for you what... the kid should feel for the mother."

Tears came to Mary's eyes, so she lowered her head quickly. Peter's heart sank and he quickly clenched his fists so he wouldn't reach for her hand to grab her.

"Of course... of course, I fully understand that," she said weakly and nodded slightly. "I know I'm practically a stranger to you. But you will be my child forever, Peter. And I will never stop loving you. I loved you the moment I found out I was pregnant with you, and I will love you when I am old and helpless. I wore you under a heart that will forever beat just for you. Motherly love will never disappear."

Peter didn't really feel good about everything she told him. He felt a little... well, guilty. He was honest with her, and she probably with him too. And the truth hurt. The woman sitting in front of him was his mother. He had her genes, and he just won't erase them.

What the hell was he supposed to do now?

"So when you're aware of it all," he began cautiously, "then what are you asking of me?"

"I'd like to spend time with you. Get to know you. Feel at least for a moment that you are... that you really are my child. I don't know anything about you. And that kills me even more," she breathed, looking at him pleadingly. "Would you give me a chance? Please. We can only go to lunch together from time to time. For an hour. I promise I won't push you with anything and I won't interfere in your life anymore."

Peter looked away. He couldn't answer her now. He sighed. "Give me some time," he asked, and she nodded. She knew they were on their way.