Of Blades & Buttercups

Chapter 11: Only Human

She wasn't scared...

She looked at him as if he weren't 6 feet of skin and bones, pale eyes and blackened hair, Teeth and claws of an animal. Like he was...human. He watched on as Ciri ate a few berries and nuts, confusion coursing through his face.
"What?" Ciri took notice to his sour complication. After a moment of contemplation, he spoke.
"You...y-you're not...afraid?" His voice was low and husky.
"Should I be?" She sounded so calm.
"Look at me..." His eyes casted downwards.
"At first...you didn't scare me. I was just, confused. I never really felt fear. Just shock and curiosity. My grandmother always said that would be my downfall." She gave a laugh. "And you aren't how people described you. I expected an animal. Long, sharp teeth. Talons and claws. Hatred and bloodlust. You're just a man." He cooed, staring at her with disbelief. "Was anyways. If you don't mind me asking, what exactly happened to you? I don't think you were born like this. You don't have to tell me if you are uncomfortable though."  A pause, then he spoke.
"I was normal once...it's been months." He smiled as he remembered. "I was happy. I was in love. My life was full of adventure..." He paused.
"And then...?" Ciri urged him on.
"I was...hurting. So very badly. I was stupid. Just like my mother always said "Julian you'll never get anywhere if you think with your heart rather than your head." He mimicked.
"Julian?"
"Call me Songbird. I don't like that name. Not anymore."
"Alright. Go on."
"I was hurting. I just wanted it to stop. It was cold. I don't even know how long it has been. I was cold and hungry when I came across a little cottage on the mountain. I met a woman there...she said she would take the pain away. In all honesty, I thought she was going to kill me. At the time I didn't care. Hell, I still don't." She looked at him, her eyes trailing down the scar on his neck, further down to the scars on his wrists. Then the pieces fell together and she gasped.
"You're scars..."
"From fights with animals, hatred from people, battle... you're a smart girl. You know what else." He spoke coldly, refusing to meet her gaze. "Long story made short. She tricked me. Turned me into this... thing. I guess she was right. I couldn't feel a thing afterwards."
"Was that the old lady you-"
"Word spreads fast." He let out a chuckle, a puff of smoke forming around his mouth. "She made me a monster. One thing ran through my head at the time."
"Violence isn't the answer, Songbird."
"Maybe not. I always was a pacifist. I felt quite handsome. I was lively, youthful. Then Melitele decided to show her true side. Showed me what people really are."
"Why were you hurting?" He took a deep breath.
"Have you ever been in love?" she hummed.
"So she broke your heart? Was she pretty?" His eyes lit up in remembrance.
"He was beautiful...but I- I was just another stupid bard." Ciri nearly choked on a berry, his attention snapping to the coughing girl.
"B-bard?" She coughed out.
"Yeah...a Witcher and a bard. Now that sparks controversy." Ciri's eyes went wide.
"Wait." He flicked his eyes down to her.
"Witcher? Bard? Mountain?...Jaskier?" A deep grow was released.
"How the fuck do you know that name?" Ciri stepped back, watching the anguish flash in his eyes.
"It is you..."
"Answer the Question." He hissed, flashing his teeth towards the girl, causing her to trip back and fall into a pile of leaves.
"I-I'm Princess Cirilla, Of Cintra. My grandmother was Queen Calanthe and-"
"The child surprise..."
"My father is-"
"Tell Geralt He can go fuck himself." He spat, venom in his voice. Turning on his feet, he gave into a small pace walking into the woods.
"Wait! Songbird!"
"Thanks for the cloak, you should be getting back." He cut her off
"Jaskier!" He stopped. "Please. He talks about you all the time. Him and Yen-"
"So he's still with the Witch, then?"
"She's my godmother." She said breathlessly running up to him.
"Figures. Look. Go back to them, you're in danger even speaking to me. I'm just another monster, you ought to have him kill me, It is his job after all." He huffed, taking long strides on all fours.
"Stop it! He loves you, Jaskier!" He turned on his heels, crowding her to the ground. Ciri was trembling with fear she didn't know she had.
"Don't ever say that again. I've been lied to far to many times." He got off her and continued to walk off.
"Damnit Jaskier! Listen to me!" With a growl he shoved her into a pile of buttercups, his eyes flashing with anger. She stared at him, dumbfounded. His features softened, the look of regret washing over him.
"I-I am sorry...I'm sorry." He clawed at his hair, rivets of blood running down his face.
"Jaskier, it's okay-" He was gone before she could finish her sentence. Disappearing into the thick forest.