What I Couldn't Tell You | Bokuaka

Chapter 4

Keiji woke up to a coughing fit. He felt his lungs squeezing, his throat aching as he fought for air. It felt as if something had crawled up his throat and for a moment, he feared that maybe he had swallowed an insect in his sleep.
Once he had managed to get his breathing under control he stared at his pillow. Keiji froze immediately, dread filling his stomach. He realized that maybe an insect crawling up his throat would've been a better cause for his coughing fit.
Yet there on his bed, laid scattered petals. Peony petals.
Another wave of coughing made its way up his throat. Keiji rushed to his bathroom, barely managing to open the toilet lead before more petals spilled out of his mouth. He coughed them out, watching as the water swayed pink. It was only four petals, but it was enough to make Keiji screech. His throat felt sore and suddenly the itch he felt earlier made sense.
Keiji groaned which only added to the sore feeling in his throat. He stood up from the floor and flushed the toilet, watching the petals swirl until they disappeared. He walked to the sink and brushed his teeth to get rid of the feeling.
Once back on his bed he tossed and turned, fear and anxiousness seizing each of his nerves. Keiji knew what it was, he also knew the cause of it. The Hanahaki disease wasn't uncommon, it often happened with high schoolers, he was going to be fine. Except he didn't feel like he was going to be fine because suddenly he recalled his grandmother's words and 'Die from unrequited love' rang in his head.
Despite what had happened earlier in the day, Keiji didn't want to jump into conclusions and assume that Bokuto liked him. Because as much as Keiji hated to admit it, it probably was just Bokuto being overly friendly, it was possible. Bokuto was pretty popular and by becoming captain of the volleyball team he had even more people chasing him.
Keiji sighed, it was the last thing he wanted to be dealing with, exams where near and the preliminaries for the Spring Tournament weren't that far behind either. So, for now, Keiji decided to push those thoughts at the back of his head and concentrate in trying to manage at least a few more hours of sleep.
☆☆☆
In the end he didn't manage to get any. It was to be expected, still Keiji was pretty pissed off.
His mom had made a fuss when he walked downstairs that morning looking as pale as snow. She made him another tea, provided him with a handful of pills, and wrapped him up in clothes to keep him warm.
He grimaced while walking to the spot where he usually met Bokuto. He had managed to cough more petals through the night and if he was being honest it was becoming downright terrifying. Just the thought of having to go to school in that condition filled him with dread from head to toe.
"Woah Akaashi! Are you okay?" Keiji snapped away from his thoughts and looked up at Bokuto, who had worry etched all over his face, "you look like death all over."
"Well, good morning to you too," he stated, it came off harsher than he had intended to with the way Bokuto flinched, Keiji sighed, "don't worry, it's just a cold."
"Are you sure?" Bokuto inquired, his hand moving to rest on Keiji's forehead, the younger boy fought the urge to blush, "hmmm you don't feel hot, so I guess it's fine." Bokuto stated, looking pensive, "Are you going to be okay for Friday's match?"
"Yeah, I'll just rest more," Keiji declared, starting to walk their usual path to school, Bokuto following him, "don't worry too much Bokuto-san."
"How can I not worry?" Bokuto scoffed crossing his arms, "my best friend is sick, of course I'm worried."
Keiji's heart ached a little. 'Best Friends'. He loved and hated that word. Loved how it meant he was really special to Bokuto, but hated how it also set a barrier to prevent it from escalating into something more. They walked in silence, Keiji feeling the now familiar itch in his throat. It probably was a bad idea to have Bokuto so close, seeing as he was the cause of Keiji's current problem.

Once they reached the school's gate they immediately walked to the club room.
"Akaashi," Bokuto called out, catching the other's attention, Keiji raised an eyebrow at the other, Bokuto offered a sheepish smile, clearing his throat, "I- uh- I think you should maybe skip practice, since you're sick."
Keiji shook his head, managing a small smile, "I'll be fine Bokuto-san." Bokuto seemed to want to protest, but Keiji beat him to it by opening the clubroom's doors. They were met with Konoha's usual bout of drama.
"She was sooo pretty," Konoha whined, resting his head against his locker, "Saru, do you think I should-"
"Hey hey hey!" Bokuto exclaimed, immediately walking over to the rest of the third years, Keiji just shuffled to his locker to get changed, he wasn't in much of a mood to meddle, "who's pretty? Who are we talking about?"
"Apparently it's a second year," Komi commented snickering, slapping Konoha on the head, "I think she's in your class Akaashi." They all turned to look at Keiji expectantly, who just stood perplexed.
"Well is she in your class?" Konoha asked, looking mildly hopeful. If Keiji didn't know better he'd think Konoha's interest was genuine, yet he knew they boy managed to change interests each week.
"Umm who exactly?" Keiji inquired, there were plenty of girls in his class who could fall into the category of pretty. Keiji generally didn't focus too much on the girls in his year, but he was very well capable of appreciating natural beauty.
"Fujiwara Aiko," Konoha said with a dreamy sigh, laying his head on Bokuto's shoulder. Keiji instantly knew who Konoha was referring to. Fujiwara-san was pretty popular among the second years in the sense that most boys were drooling over her. It mildly surprised Keiji that Konoha had managed this long without taking notice of the girl
"Ah yes, I believe she's in the art club," Keiji answered, turning back to his locker so he could finish changing into his uniform.
"Oh, I know her!" Bokuto exclaimed loudly, "fair skin, short black hair with bangs right?" That caught Keiji's attention.
"How do you know her?" Konoha questioned, narrowing his eyes and jabbing Bokuto in the chest with his finger. Bokuto just chuckled and waved his hand in the air.
"Well Suzumeda was running late to an appointment and asked me to drop her homework for art, when I reached the art room she was there," Bokuto explained, "she was pretty cute, exuded a lot of confidence too."
Konoha just groaned annoyed, muttering something about how Bokuto was going to steal her away from him. The other teased Konoha about how if there was someone who could get to date Fujiwara it was either Bokuto or Keiji. Even so, Keiji ignored all of that, his thought occupied with the words 'she was pretty cute', coming from Bokuto. Suddenly he felt a wave of nausea hit him, the now familiar feeling of petals crawling up his throat. Without a second thought, he dashed out of the clubroom in search of the nearest bathroom, ignoring the shouts of concern from his teammates. He had barely managed to open one of the stalls and shut it behind him before pink petals spilled out of his mouth. He coughed them out, counting five swirling on the water now turned pink due to the few drops of blood that accompanied the coughing. A shiver ran through Keiji's body, his breath shortening. He pulled his knees against his chest, resting his head against them.
So far, he had two options: telling Bokuto about his feelings or telling his parents and getting the operation. In all honesty, none of the options seemed appealing. Despite Bokuto's behavior as of lately, Keiji didn't have the confidence to assume the older boy liked him back. And getting rid of his feelings for Bokuto seemed dreadful too. If Keiji thought about it, Bokuto was such a lovable person. With his golden eyes and salt and pepper hair, ridiculously styled in a way that made him resemble a horned owl. And sure, he had all these mood swings but that just demonstrated how passionate the boy is about volleyball. Keiji still remembers, remembers the time where he watched Bokuto in the sky, how the boy screamed 'star' in his eyes. Bokuto was the main reason why he chose Fukurodani, and now here they were as best friends. Yet Keiji wanted more, and it was that selfish thought that lead him to the present. To this foolish disease that made him cough up Bokuto's favorite flower. It was ridiculous.
"Akaashi? Are you alright?" there was a knock on the door and Keiji recognized Bokuto's voice, softened almost to a whisper. Keiji sighed, wiped his mouth with toilet paper and flushed the toilet. He stood up and gathered all his courage to muster a small smile. He opened the door and met with the sight of Bokuto's worried expression.
"I'm alright now," Keiji tried to reassure, "I was just a little nauseous, that's all."
"I told the rest of the team that you were sick," Bokuto informed, looking at Keiji with a serious expression, he placed both of his hands on Keiji's shoulders, "we've all come to the agreement that you should skip practice today and rest."
"Bokuto-san I'm fin-"
"No, you're not Akaashi, you just threw up, what about that seems 'fine' to you?" Bokuto asked, his eyebrows raising, "it's not debatable, you do want to play in the game on Friday, right?" Keiji looked at his shoes, nodding softly, "then you should rest all you can, c'mon let me take you to the infirmary." Bokuto said, pulling Keiji along with him.
Panic started rising on Keiji's chest. He couldn't go to the infirmary, less alone with Bokuto. The nurse would definitely know what's up and that would end up in disaster. Keiji grabbed Bokuto's wrist, stopping them both on their tracks.
"It's okay Bokuto-san, I can go on my own," Keiji said calmly, trying to sound as convincing as possible, Bokuto seemed like he was about to protest but Keiji cut him off, "you should get back to practice, I want my ace in top condition."
Bokuto pursed his lips, looking unsure, it managed to do the trick though and after more reassuring that 'No Bokuto-san, I won't faint on the way there' the third year left Keiji for practice. Keiji sighed in relief, and walked to the direction of the main building. If he wasn't going to go to the infirmary, he could at least get some rest in the classroom.
The rest of the day passed slowly, but Bokuto seemed to be more attentive of Keiji than usual, constantly asking him how was he feeling, asking him if he had gone to the infirmary (Keiji didn't want to lie to him but there was no way he was going to go), and just overall being fussy over Keiji's well-being. Keiji also didn't seem to visit the bathroom to cough up petals as constantly as he thought, except when the other third years brought back up the subject of Fujiwara and a 'Bokuto, would you date her if she confessed?' answered with an 'I don't know, maybe?' which resulted in Keiji excusing himself so he could go to the bathroom to throw up some more goddamn peonies. That afternoon Keiji left school with a promise to Bokuto that 'Yes Bokuto-san, I'll stay at home tomorrow and rest', and despite trying to sound annoyed, in all honesty Keiji left in school with his heart feeling warm.