What I Couldn't Tell You | Bokuaka

Chapter 5

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The next day as promised, Keiji stayed home. It wasn't difficult to convince his parents, especially his mother who was very adamant on taking care of him until she left for work. Keiji laid in his bed, his mind clouded with exhaustion. His throat was sore and his chest ached with every breath he took.
Keiji had looked into information on the Hanahaki disease on the internet the previous night. He found out that the disease had certain "stages". The first one consisted of coughing up 3 to 4 petals, it wasn't too alarming but it was a warning for the person to take action against it. The second stage was coughing up 5 to 7 petals. It was the stage Keiji currently found himself in. it was also accompanied by coughing up blood, which alarmed Keiji. By this stage, people should either confess or take the surgery. The third stage consisted of an increase in petals until the person coughed 8 to 10 petals, along with more blood. The final stage was coughing up the whole flower. If a person reached that stage the best solution should be to take the surgery. Keiji made his mind in not reaching the final stage. He didn't want to risk his life.
All of that leads him to the action course he had to take. Confessing or getting the surgery. Getting the surgery was the easiest, he could get rid of the disease without facing his feelings and fearing rejection. However, confessing meant there was still a possibility of having his feelings reciprocated. Keiji thought back to Bokuto, and how he had treated him with utmost care. He had stayed glued to Keiji's side at any possible moment, always asking over how he felt and asking if he needed anything. It had to mean something right? It was a scary course but Keiji was quite certain that it was a safe one. Even if Bokuto did reject him, which Keiji prayed wasn't the case, he could just get the surgery and get it over with.
With that Keiji made up his mind. Tomorrow after the match he was going to confess to Bokuto.
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Friday morning came and Keiji wasn't feeling any better. He hadn't worsened, yet the exhaustion was more overwhelming than ever. Even so, he tried his best to hide it from his parents, not only that but these past days Keiji had flushed so many petals down the toilet he was surprised it wasn't clogged.
He had a good relationship with his parents, but telling them about the disease growing inside him would only manage to make them worried and to force him to have the surgery. But today was the day, he had made his mind about confessing, as even though the whole idea made him cringe, it was for the best to get over this problem.
Convincing Bokuto that he was alright proved to be a little harder with how much the older boy seemed to be fussing over him. Under previous circumstances, it would have probably annoyed Keiji to a certain extent, but now it just filled his heart with warmth and a buzz similar to the singing of cicadas in the summer. They walked to school normally, Keiji trying his best to keep himself from spilling flowers and causing a scene.
Despite his initial nervousness, once the afternoon reached and they prepared for the match, Keiji's body seemed to switch into autopilot. He went through his normal routine of changing without any disturbance and was taping a few of his fingers when this peace was disrupted.
"Hey! Hey! Hey! Akaaaaashi!" Bokuto exclaimed, coming up behind him and squeezing Keiji's shoulders with his hands. Keiji jumped slightly, and barely mustered up an indifferent expression before turning to look at Bokuto, "how's my favorite setter doing? Are you okay?" Bokuto asked, and despite the smile gracing his features, Keiji could recognize the worry in his golden eyes. Keiji tried to ignore his heart picking up at the 'favorite setter part'.
"Yes Bokuto-san, for the hundredth time, I'm alright," Keiji reassured, placing one of his hands over Bokuto's and offering a small smile. Bokuto relaxed and nodded giving Keiji a small smile letting his hands drop to his side. Keiji immediately missed the warmth that Bokuto's hands produced. The captain turned around and walked around the clubroom, trying to encourage everyone and shake them out of their anxiousness.
It was one of the things that Keiji loved the most about Bokuto. How despite being simple-minded and having mood swings every so in matches, he was actually a great captain. It was always in the most critical moments, those were Keiji felt as if the team was going to fall apart, that Bokuto managed to raise them back, and then there were moments like this, where he didn't allow the team to fall even before the match started.
"It's time! Remember, we are going to beat them!" Bokuto yelled, clapping his hands, "can I get a hey! Hey! Hey!" Keiji chuckled as the third years rolled their eyes but complied nonetheless. Bokuto gave them one last encouraging smile before he began walking out of the clubroom and to the gymnasium where chants could be heard.
Keiji stayed behind as the last one, he gathered his thoughts one last time, trying to erase every thread that revolved around Bokuto. Like how caring he had been the past few days, or his blinding smile, bright as constellations littering the night sky, or his soft yet simplistic nature. His throat itched and constricted, successfully cutting off Keiji's train of thought. He coughed into his hand, the small pink petals barely stained in red slipping through his fingers and onto the floor. He thanked that the room was empty, and no one was able to witness that. Keiji took a towel out of his bag and wiped the remaining blood off his mouth, he then took a big gulp of water to wash down the acidic feeling, and popped a menthol candy to soothe his aching throat. Keiji sighed, he just had to go through with the match and then it would all be over, regardless of Bokuto's answer. But as much as Keiji hated it, he had hoped, because Bokuto's actions as of lately had to mean something. With those final thoughts, he walked out of the clubroom to join his teammates, his mind leaving all thoughts of one Bokuto Koutarou to concentrate in the game.