Tell the neighbors I said bye

Chapter 6: Xander- present

I couldn't help myself. I had to read on. I couldn't leave the letter there. I opened the letter again and picked up where I left off,

Xander, I want you to know that I never wanted to hurt you. I was just hurting inside and the pain needed to stop. I couldn't take it anymore. I was an awful person and it's eating me up inside. I was killing myself from the inside.....

"What the hell is she talking about?!!?" I said aloud. Rather then just the overwhelming pain of the sadness, there was now rage, and anger. Something just set me off.

I decided that I needed a walk, so I walked for about three hours, until I ended up in the cemetery where my parents are buried. I walked across the lot to the head stones with the names of ,Stefannie and Daniel Evans, was engraved. I broke down again.
Realizing that in the past five years, I had lost everything. Both of my parents and my only best friend. Gone. I don't give a shit about anything else right now. All I can think about is the major gap in my chest. The only thing that could fill in the missing gap, was the comfort of my best friend.

After crying at the tombstone for an hour I decided I should probably walk home now. The only thought on my mind right now was "Maybe there were signs that I missed? Avery would have at least told me something was wrong? Right?" I felt slightly betrayed. Avery didn't tell me that anything was wrong. She acted and put on a big show. She made it seem like nothing was wrong. But if I looked closely, maybe I could have seen it.

It's my fault she's gone. I could have stopped her, if I wasn't so involved in my stupid work. I could have stopped her from feeling like she was awful. I now she made mistakes, but she's not awful.