Inspired by 'Shrek the Musical'
*****
Alli: You're not actually comparing yourself to what I endured.
Rodney: Look, I'm just saying you don't corner the market on unhappy childhoods
Rusties: (gasps)
Piper: Oh, no, you didn't...
Alli: There are things that you don't know...ya know? About me, about how rough I've had it
Rodney: What, you ran out of shampoo a couple of times?
Alli: I mean, about my life!
Rodney: What? In that cushy tower of yours?
Alli: Cushy?! Are you kidding?!
I had nothing in that tower
Fighting boredom by the hour
Princess Lonely walking circles
I had only...
Bare essentials, army cot
A hot plate and chamber pot
And every morning, I would boil it
No choice, I had no toilet
Just a view of devastation
Out one window, isolation
In my bedroom
And very little headroom
Fifteen years, I sat and waited
I'm very dedicated
On the walls, the days were added
Luckily those walls were padded
So I think I got you beat, I think I got you beat
Yeah, yeah, yeah
I think I got you beat, I think I got you beat
Rodney:
Oh, you think so
That was a sad story, but
I've heard better, I'm just saying
A for effort, thanks for playing
Sad to see a princess suffer
But I had it rougher
Like that time a mob with torches
Burned my britches, see the scorches
You're just whiney, I had a flaming hiney
As I fled, I had to wonder
If I were torn asunder
Would a robot go to Heaven?
Did I mention I was seven?
So, I think I got you beat, I think I got you beat
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
I think I got you beat, I think I got you beat
Alli:
No warm regards
Rodney:
No Christmas cards
Alli:
And everyday
Rodney:
Was hell on earth day
Alli:
Okay, top this!
I missed my prom
Rodney:
My dad and mom sent me away
It was my birthday
Alli:
I was sent away on Christmas Eve
Rodney:
(Growls)
Alli:
Ha, ha
Rodney and Alli:
Bare essentials, army cot (No warm regards)
A hot plate and chamber pot
And every morning, I would boil it (No Christmas cards)
No choice, I had no toilet
Just a view of devastation (And every day)
Out one window, isolation (Was hell on earth day)
In my bedroom
And very little headroom
Fifteen years, I sat and waited (I missed my prom)
I'm very dedicated (My dad and mom sent me away)
On the walls, the days were added
Luckily those walls were padded (It was my birthday)
Fifteen years (I missed my prom)
My dad and mom sent me away
Alli:
So...
Rodney:
So...
Rodney and Alli:
I think I got you beat, I think I got you beat
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
I think I got you beat, I think I got you beat
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
I think I got you beat, I think I got you beat
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
YOU ARE READING
Flesh and Bolts AU
FanfictionA certain AU that has come back to haunt me years later. In this universe, the characters are all humans, but they are called robots because of their prosthetic-like limbs. Everything else pretty much remains the same. ______________________________...
