(i) Memories

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I woke up. My face on a pile of papers. My eyes cleared slowly as I adjusted to the beam of sunlight shooting at my face. The alarm continued to beep. I woke up slowly.

8.05 AM It showed. I got up and washed my face with cold water. I grabbed my bag and headed for my restaurant. On the way, all I could think of was what I saw. Was it a dream or a memory? I couldn't make out the distinction. It felt so real like I've lived it.

I walked through the street with my bag. It was less crowded today. On my way, I called Jake to set an appointment. He was my Therapist and lived two blocks away. He often reminded me to call him if I got any "unusual dreams" or "felt-too-real-to-be-a-dream dreams."

"Tell me the names of those characters you saw. Describe them to me how you saw." Asked Jake.

"Uhh... it was the usual me, but younger. You were there. So were Zoey, Sandy, Luke. All of us were in our college time. There was a girl too. I kept calling her Emma. She had a sleek medium hairstyle, a sweet voice, and a beautiful smile. We were in love in that dream,"

"Emma? Oh..."

"What is it, Jake?"

"It's Emma,"

"What do you mean? Who is Emma? And Why do I feel like I've known her for a long time?"

"You still don't know?" Jake said, worried.

"No," I replied, without having a clue of what he's speaking about.

"Alright. Close your eyes. I never thought of doing this, but the time has come. Take deep breaths. Focus on what I speak."

He talked about it to me. All of a sudden, it hit me like a bolt of lightning.

Four years ago...

Two years after college, I started a restaurant, and the business skyrocketed. Emma lived with me in my apartment. She was the senior product supervisor for Urban Decay. Few months after my business took off, Emma introduced me to her parents. Emma's Mom liked me the moment she saw me. But her dad... not so much. At first, he didn't like me because of the belief that I wouldn't pay her much of my attention because of my business. After a week or so, he saw how much I loved her even when my restaurant went through a crisis. He saw that and treated me like his own son. After years, the warm welcome of a family greeted me and it felt great. But God shouldn't have given me hope. He shouldn't have given me a family and taken them away. Why? Why did it have to happen to me? But the thing that harms me the most is that what happened was my error.

Emma's family offered to take us to a fancy restaurant to celebrate our 4th anniversary. It was lovely. Her dad was drinking and offered me one. I rejected it politely.

"No, Uncle. I don't drink," I said.

"Why? Is it to impress me?" He asked.

"No. No. I stopped it long ago," I justified.

"Hmmm. Okay." He said, letting go of that topic

Emma and her mom were laughing a lot. To this day, I cannot remember what it was they were laughing about. Dinner began with four plates of steak with mashed potatoes and fries on the side. The steak was huge and I'm pretty sure Emma didn't finish hers. 'Twas time for dessert. Emma ordered her favorite Chocolate Brownie. I ordered the same.

"Uncle, What do you wish?" I asked Emma's Dad.

"I'll have cheesecake," I ordered one cheesecake. After dinner, Dad offered me a ride along with them. We didn't talk much in the car. Once we reached the house, Emma's Dad hit us with a surprise. As a gift, he gave us his car. And not just any car. A Porsche 718 Cayman 2022 model. This thing was the beast. I couldn't even afford it if I sold my restaurant.

"Boy, Let me tell you something.---" As he spoke those words, a swarm of questions filled my mind. What would he say? What did I do?

"---Emma is lucky to have you. She told me everything about your friendship right from college: your first date, your first hug, breakup, everything. I've never seen her this interested in someone else. You played a big role in her life. You placed her needs before yours even at times of crisis. Not everyone I know does that. And now I'm confident that she's safe in your hands,"

"Really?"

"Yeah. Oh and also, don't call me uncle. Call me dad. "

Tears started to form in my eyes. I've never been happier. No amount of sadness can bring me down. I hugged dad for the first time, and he appreciated it. It was night. Dad gave us the keys.

"Dad accepted you. Why don't we go for a drive to celebrate,"

"Sure," I said with excitement.

Had I known what would happen next, I never would've agreed. We took it out and drove through the woods. Peaceful and fun. The wind was whistling, and leaves were falling. Emma's face bore happiness. One that I've never seen before. I stared at her, admiring that smile. She noticed me looking at her.

"What?" She asked.

"Oh, Nothing,"

Moments after that, I don't remember anything. It was all a blur. I remember the car being upside down and bad in condition —blood dripping. My head was ringing so hard like never before. I was holding on to something. It felt soft, kinda like someone's hand. I turned to look. It was excruciating. I could barely move my neck. But I did it. I turned and saw her holding my hand. She was unconscious.

"Emma?" she didn't respond.

"Emma?" I called again. Her eyes twitched. But she didn't open them.

"EMMA," I yelled with all my force. She woke up. Her eyes slowly opened.

"Adrian," She spoke feebly.

"Everything is going to be fine. Lemme see if I can find my phone," I assured her.

"Don't worry. I'll be with you," she said, becoming more feeble.

I tried to find it by stretching my arm as far as I can. But to no avail, I couldn't find it. Emma held on to my other hand, and I didn't let go. But after a while, Her grasp began to loosen up.
"Emma? Wake up," She didn't hear. I shook her hand. She didn't respond.

"Emma. Emma. Please wake up. I don't wanna lose you too. Please," I cried. She didn't hear. I didn't let myself believe that she was gone. I couldn't. Even if I had the strength to move a mountain, I wouldn't have enough to accept a world without her.

"I'm sorry," -My last words to her before blacking out.

I don't remember when exactly the ambulance arrived. I remember hearing the loud wailing of sirens. Also, the bright light of the day flashed in my eye. The next thing I remember is a bright light flashing again in my eye. This time, I see myself being separated from Emma as she is taken away in another gurney. She was still unconscious. Her hand looked like it was trying to reach me. It hurt me to admit that I'm the reason this happened to her.

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