First There Was You

Chapter 54: Elle

August 14

Mainland, Lake Joseph, Muskoka

I jolt awake at the sound of an owl hooting. God, I hate camping.

I especially hate camping when I'm over-tired, over-sensitive, over-emotional, over-everything, and like a million steps away from the washroom.

Generally speaking, I prefer sleeping in the safety of a building, not in some fabric tent that an animal or serial killer could rip through in a moment.

After a full, and fantastic, day with Sam and Liam, we're all camped out in the woods, spread one tent after another from the cottage, down along the treeline in five small tents. It had been too cloudy last night for fireworks, but we'd gorged on toasted marshmallows and told ghost stories around the fire. Which I wholeheartedly regret in this moment as every noise brings my worst fears to life in my imagination.

Sam and Liam are closest to the cottage, and I'd tried not to pay attention to the sounds that were coming from their tent specifically earlier tonight. Greyson had a similar idea, trying to tempt me into letting him show me more of what he'd been thinking about the other night, but I was adamant in my refusal.

One, tents are hardly private. Two, I was not loving the way sound echoed here, and I was completely and utterly mortified for Sam. If any one of these boys says a word about it tomorrow, I will personally kill them. I'd already texted them the warning, so fair game.

Three, there are some lines I'm just not willing to cross, not now, maybe not ever. Putting on an audio show for my closest friends was definitely a no go for me, as was letting Greyson anywhere near my lady parts this time of the month.

Obviously, because nothing is supposed to be easy this summer, my period had made a surprise arrival this morning, two days early, with all her friends: anxiety, sensitivity, cramps, and apparently neediness. All I wanted to do was crawl on top of Greyson and let him distract me from my suffering. It's apparently what my body wants every time he comes near me, every time he touches me.

Just another confusing part of the female body and mind.

I nearly laugh, the hysterical little bubble growing inside me, at the direction of my thoughts, as heat floods my traitorous body again. I'm barely in control of my raging hormones at this point, so desperate for sleep, warmth, affection, and comfort from him.

Light rustling pulls my attention back to the darkness, but when the quiet surrounds us again, I settle back down, snuggling even closer to Greyson. At this point, we're pressed so close to the side of the tent, I'm not sure there's anywhere left to go.

This week, he's been so playful, so attentive and caring, it's like I barely recognize him. His every move mirrors mine, when I laugh, he smiles, when I'm frustrated, he fixes it. My heart is about to burst from the happiness I feel with him, but of course, the happiness is tinged with the bittersweet knowledge that soon everything might change.

Rolling to my stomach, wincing a little as the muscles in my abdomen clench uncomfortably, I stretch out across Greyson's chest, using him as a warm, spicy scented pillow. I try to muffle the sounds of the outdoors with his heartbeat on one side of my head, my pillow pressed above the other.

Just as I drift off, or what feels like mere minutes, I'm jolted awake again by a plodding sound and the rustle of leaves.

This is the fifth or sixth time I've bolted awake in a few hours, and my system is fried as a result. When Greyson shifts beside me, his hands running over my tense body, he blinks himself awake, slowly.

"Not another trip to the bathroom already?" His muffled, sleepy voice makes me smile, despite my exhaustion and nerves. I also feel bad for him, I've woken him up every few hours to walk with me in the dark to the bathroom. At first he'd teased me about my small bladder, and I'd let him think that was the case.