Loveless Lonely Girl

CHAPTER 1

Alone, I always get by on my own,
I never really cared until I met you...

Nakikinig sa nag-iisang musika na naroon sa aking telepono habang nakatunghay sa aking bintana, hindi nakakasawang pakinggan ang kantang alone sapagkat napakaganda ng boses ng mang-aawit, isa pa ay tugma sa sitwasyon ko ang bawat liriko na nababanggit sa awitin. Ito na yata ang paborito kong awitin bukod sa nag-iisa lang ang awiting iyon sa aking playlist, wala ng iba.

"Ace, ano ba? Are you planning to just sit in front of your window until dawn? And listen to that emo song?" I smiled. I thought I'm alone in this world, at least I have Alice, masungit minsan pero alam ko tinatago niya lamang ang kanyang kabaitan, hindi ko alam kung bakit.

"Pasensya na, Alice. I enjoyed watching the night sky, hindi ko namalayang gumagabi na pala."

"Yeah yeah whatever. Close the window and sleep already. 'kay?" She said after she slammed the door.

Minsan hindi ko maintindihan ang mga tao sa paligid ko, masungit na may tinatagong kabaitan, ang iba naman ay sadyang masungit talaga, at may mga walang pakealam sa presensya ko na parang hindi nila ako nakikita.

Kapatid ko si Alice, at may iba pang dalawa. Isang babae at isang lalaki. May mga magulang kami na nagbibigay sa mga pangangailan namin sa kahit anong bagay, ngunit hindi ko masasabing masaya ang aming pamilya.

Sinarado ko ang bintana bago humiga at tuluyan ng nagpadala sa antok.

Kinabukan, gumising ako para maghanda sa pagpasok. Huling taon ko na sa kolehiyo, sa kursong hindi ko naman gusto. Wala akong karapatang magreklamo kasi pera naman nila ang ginamit para makapagtapos ako. Nag aaral ako sa isang exclusive university for girls, tanging mga babae lang ang pinapayagang makapag-aral sa paaralang iyon sa hindi ko malamang dahilan. Ako lamang ang nag aaral doon at ang iba kong mga kapatid ay nag-aaral sa paaralang gusto nilang pasukan, malaya silang pumili samantalang ako, walang boses na maisatinig ang mga gusto sa buhay, pagsunod lamang sa aming magulang ang palagi kong ginagawa. Nakakalungkot ngunit wala akong magawa. Wala rin naman akong pakealam dun basta ba'y makapagtapos lamang ako at makapagtrabaho para may panggastos na ako sa sarili ko.

Pagdating ko sa hapagkainan upang kumain ng agahan, nadatnan ko silang patapos nang kumain, ipinagkibit balikat ko na lamang ang nakita, sanay na rin naman ako sa ganitong eksena, magsisimula palang akong kakain habang sila ay tapos na, hindi na nila ako hinihintay sa tuwing kakain na, wala nang bagong nangyari sa buhay ko.

"Aalis na po ako, sa paaralan na lang po ako kakain," paalam ko sa kanila, hindi nalang kakain

"Go ahead" that's what my mother said, not even inviting me to eat first.

I walked away without looking each of them. I stopped when someone grab me..

"Iha, baonin mo na lamang itong sandwich, paborito mo ang palaman niyan, ginawan kita kasi alam kong di kana kakain kapag ganoong eksena ang aabotan mo," ngiting sabi ni Nanay Lolita, siya ang pinaka matandang katulong dito sa amin, hindi pa yata ako isinilang ay nandito na sya at nagsisilbi sa pamilya namin.

Kinuha ko ang bigay niyang sandwich, "Salamat po nay, alis na po ako"

"Mag iingat ka, Ace"

I smiled at the thought that I have Nanay Lolita and Alice. Kahit pa minsan masungit si Alice sa akin.

My life at school is the same as my life in our home. Home huh? It doesn't feel like home anyway.

Classmates were...not really bullying me but they had this cold stares towards me and I don't really care as long as they don't touch me nor harm me cause I will definitely fight them.

I sat at my favorite spot in the classroom, which is the chair near the window where I can freely sleep, air conditioned naman yung room namin and the windows should be close but I always open it to breathe some fresh air.

I was about to sleep when I heard screams. Argh! This girls, they're so noisy! Ano na naman kaya ngayon ang tinitilian nila? I'm not curious, sanay na ako. I'm sure it's a guy, but who would it be this time? Minsan lang may maligaw na lalake sa loob ng paaralang ito, para namang ilang dekadang hindi nakakita ng lalake kung makatili.

"Here we go again" I said to myself and just rolled my eyes.

Pinatong ko na ulit yung ulo ko sa desk ng chair ko for me to sleep again. Finally, they're not screaming anymore. But it's odd. Masyadong tahimik, but I don't care, all I care for now is for me to sleep. Wala pa naman yung prof namin for our first period.

Or maybe I was wrong...

"This isn't your house so please don't sleep in my class, Miss."

Lalaki? Yung prof? Where's our original professor?

I lazily held my head up to see who's this new professor, seems like he's a strict guy base on the tone he used when he scolded me. Hmm... Let's see..

But hell, it's opposite to what's on my mind. A guy is standing in front of my chair, looking so handsome. Wait did I just said handsome? Natuto na pala akong kumilatis ng ganda hmm that's new. Anyway, he's looking at me with he's serious face but I can sense it that he's just faking it, any minute now he's going to burst out in...laughter??

"Why are you sleeping in my class?" The prof asked me again.

"Well, technically this isn't your class, Sir. It's Ms. Delia's class."

"Well, technically, Miss. I am here as a substitute of Ms. Delia because she is not feeling so well." He said then smirk. "Do you have a problem with me being your substitute professor, Miss Amara Charvi Eleanor Cuevas?"

"How did---" he cut me off. "Well, as I said, I am your substitute professor and I studied each one of your profile and memorized your names and faces." He leaned closer to my face. "Are we clear now, Miss Cuevas?"

My mind is on process but still I managed to nod my head then rolled my eyes. "Yea, okay. Go ahead and do your job, Professor."

He smiled at that. Weird.

"Okay class, since I already knew all your names but you don't know mine, so I'm going to introduce myself first before proceeding to our discussion, is it okay with you?" When he mentioned last word he said, he's looking at me. Weirdo.

"Very much okay, Professor." Liz said with her bitchy tone.

"Okay, so I am Nolan." He paused and fixed his glasses, "Nice meeting you all, I hope we can all get along and have a good time here in our class. Any questions?"

Nolan? That's it? Just Nolan?

"How old are you, Professor Nolan? Seems like you're still young...and fresh." Viy asked, using her flirty tone.

"Well, I'm 25 years old."

I raised my hand to asked questions. "You're still young, how come you're a professor already?" He shifted his gaze to me. He looks very interested with me questioning him.

"Miss Cuevas, to inform you, I am not a professor by passion but I do teaching as part of my OJT. I'm on training, Miss."

"What kind of training is that, huh?" Training mo mukha mo!

"Getting interested with me now huh?" He playfully smile. "Okay Miss, I'm going to answer your question, I am a psychologist in the making."

Psychologist, huh? "Then why are you here in our school instead of doing your training in a mental hospital?" I curiously asked. He seems so interested with our conversation. Not minding the other students that just listening. "It's none of your business, Miss Cuevas. Don't be too nosy. If ever you still wanna know a thing about me, then we'll see about that some other time. Huwag mong masyadong ipahalata na interesado ka sa akin."

Wow ang kapal! "Ang assuming naman!" I whispered.

But I guess, my whisper is loud enough. "I'm not assuming things, Miss. I just know it."