the tour

Chapter 28

With the prospect of a future with Billie, I'm not dreading her last show as much as I did before. Billie is feeling the opposite. She has loved being in Australia and doesn't want this leg to end. As with the other shows, I help set up the stage and sound check the instruments for her and her band. I'm getting more and more used to what Billie and the band prefers so I adjust the stage for exactly that.

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Tonight, I'm given the Royal treatment and am invited to a front and centre seat to watch the show. I'm usually backstage or at the sound booth for shows so this will be different. The fans are loud tonight that I can barely hear her when she comes out on stage. I turn to the sound booth technician and ask them to turn her mic up. They do and her soothing voice is loud and clear.

It's different watching her from front on. I can understand how the fans love when she sings to them. I've got the show down pat and I can see which moves are calculated and which moves are her free styling.

Halfway through the show, Finneas gets hooked up to the bed whilst Billie starts telling the audience about a new song. She's never done this at the other shows so I wonder what she's come up with. Once Finneas is hooked up, she turns to also get hooked up. She continues talking to the audience "Do you guys mind if I play a new song?" The crowd screams and she laughs into the microphone. "OK. If you insist". Once she's sitting in the bed. Finneas starts playing the guitar. I've never heard this song before. Billie's voice begins the song "It's not true. Tell me I've been lied to. Cryin' isn't like you. Ooh" Hot tears run down my face and my hand covers my mouth. Her voice is soft but I feel like she's singing directly to my heart. I don't think she can see me and I'm glad because I turn into a crying mess when her and Finneas starts singing the chorus "... You didn't mean to say 'I love you'. I love you and I don't want to". My heart pulls when she says 'I love you.' I don't even know when they found time to have learnt the song. It explains why she wanted me in front of the stage tonight. She's singing to me. Fans around me are sobbing as well. They've written the second verse and bridge and I could not have written it better myself. She's blowing my mind and my heart. "...I don't want to but I love you". The song finishes and she points directly to me, makes a heart symbol with her hands and blows a kiss with the biggest smile.