the afterlife • luke patterson

help me understand

after it had been revealed to julie's dad that she had been kicked out of the music program at our high school, i was forced to go home and let them talk.

though, honestly, i would hardly say i was forced. it was more like a suggestion, one that i gladly took.

i needed to get out of that house.

i drove in a way that some would call reckless, ignoring stop signs and pretending red lights didn't exist. i figured since everything i had believed for the past sixteen years had turned out to be wrong, it didn't matter how i went about my life anymore.

when i got a call from julie, i answered it, even though my dad always told me never to talk on the phone while in the car.

"they play music." she said abruptly, not even starting with a casual hello.

"what?" i questioned, turning down the road to enter my neighborhood.

"they guys," she clarified,"they play music. that people can hear."

i knit my brows in confusion, wondering how that was even possible,"seriously?"

"dead serious."

"ha!" i exclaimed, acknowledging her unintentional joke,"good one."

i heard let out an exhausted sigh, clearly having had enough of me for the night,"just let me know what your mom says. i want answers too."

"you got it, babe." i told her, turning the corner to my street.

"thanks. i'm really freaked out, jo." she admitted, something that was out of character for her. she wasn't big on expressing her feelings, especially since her mom died.

"could be worse...they could be evil ghosts," i informed her, trying to look on the bright side of things. when she didn't answer, i knew i had to get serious,"but i'm gonna figure this out for us. don't worry."

it took a moment for her to reply. clearly she was trying to cope with the situation,"okay, love you."

"love you too." i answered, before hanging up.

i pulled into my driveway and tried to force myself to get out of the car. i wanted the answers, of course, but getting the clarification i needed was an admission that i had been wrong about everything. an admission that i didn't actually know what i thought i did.

and while i wasn't ready to give any of that up yet, i knew i didn't have a choice.

so, i stepped out of the car and walked into my house.

judging by the smell of burning sage, i assumed my mom was in her meditation room.

i trudged up the stairs and opened the door, smiling lightly at her,"hey, mom."

she looked up at me and smiled, but it quickly turned into a frown,"your aura...it's dark blue. what's wrong?"

i let out a quick sigh, wondering why i was putting my faith in a woman who talks about aura colors. i really wanted to believe that she could give me some insight into what was happening to me, but she made it so hard for me to trust the validity in her words. especially when she said things like that.

"well, i do have a...bit of a problem," i admitted, taking a seat in front of her,"can i talk to you about ghosts?"

she gave me a confused look,"i thought you didn't believe in ghosts."

"i didn't," i started, glancing down at my feet, unable to look her in the eye,"until i met a few tonight."

"met a few?" she raised her eyebrows in surprise, now fully invested in the conversation,"what do you mean?"