Chapter 1. Painful laughs

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Disclaimer: again this is a rewritten story of isolation so I don't take full credits for the plot or certain lines from the book. also you guys should definitely check out isolation!  Credits: uunrequired/ Bex-Chan

'Here's to my love! (drinks)

O true apothecary!

These drugs are quick. Thus with a kiss I die", Theo Nott read in a knowingly whispered tone.

He closed the book and tucked it under his pillow. Pathetic he thought, what stupid muggle would die for someone he barely knows?

What an idiot he thinks to himself.

Theo didn't like the fact that these muggles with their short lifespans spend their entire lives looking for something as dull as love. Yet he's read this book by this famous muggle named Shakespeare for the millionth time. Something about this book that just makes him feel free in a trapped way.

As pathetic as they were, Theo has wondered what it would be like to be this wretched Romeo. Having someone to love so deeply that you can't live without them. Though every time he finds himself wondering about it, he quickly pushes the bizarre thoughts away.

"'Love makes you weak!" his father used to say to him as a kid.

When Theo witnessed his mother's death at the age of 6, he remembered so clearly his father's face. Emotionless. Like his body was there but his soul was nowhere to be found, the color gone from his father's face in an instant when he saw his wife's dead body. When Theo's mother died, His father changed, no, no died. His father died.

He remembered his 7th birthday, where his father completely ignored his existence since Theo's birthday was the same day as his mothers. It was from that day on he knew he was alone. 

His father became abusive, obsessive over pure-blood supremacy, became a death eater. He would always remind Theo to never fall in love, that love will tear you apart in ways that not only makes you weak but forgotten as a pathetic wit who's accomplished nothing. As a kid Theo was frightened of his father, so naturally he would just nod his head and believe in what his father said.

But at times when Theo disobeyed him, his father would beat the living crap out of him. Using a spiked belt and slashing it onto his back or a long wooden stick would be just as painful because of how aggressive his father beated him with it.  Blood would be trickling down almost every inch his body until his father stopped.

Theo remembered when he was 8 and his friend Draco Malfoy came over and accidentally broke his father's ornament, and he took the blame. His father beat him up so hard that he ended up in St. mungo's hospital for a week straight.

When he received his Hogwarts letter, he remembered how happy he was. Finally an escape. Theo pictured how happy his mother would have been. Her bright sunshine smile, honey golden eyes that would give warm filling hugs. Theo loved his mother's name Amil, quite an unusual name that means hope. Hope, the only thing keeping Theo going on his miserable journey in life to nowhere. Which was something his father reminded him of daily.

Nowhere he thought. But nowhere is somewhere though, isn't it?

Despite it all, Theo never blamed his father for hating him. He was a constant reminder on why his mother died. A foolish experiment he did that ended up blowing up and caused his mother's death. He blamed himself for the shitty life, he blamed himself for his father's miserable life and hell, he blamed himself for everyone elses shitty life.

The way the world worked, Theo thought, was so complicated. You'd expect the hero in every story to get happy ever afters, yet they are the ones who suffer deathly ever afters. It was like the more you are good the more Salazar looks down at you and thinks: " you don't deserve a good ending." Or how good people tend to sacrifice everything yet the people who've done nothing get the same happy ending.

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