Isolation-The boy who tried

Chapter 8. Let go

Luna arrived bright and early the next day. Blaise rushes out so give Luna the most warm filled hug under the sun. All of Blaise's stress were let out as he was fully consumed in Luna's hug, it was beyond words anyone can describe his unwillingness to let luna go from his hug. But of course he know he had to at least let her breathe. Blaise was all tangled up in Luna as Ted and Theo did all the chores though Theo used his wand for most the part as Ted did everything the muggle way.

"Why don't you just use magic?" Theo pointed out

"It feels like home when I do it this way." explained Ted.

Andromeda and Bulstrode sent an owl reassuring that they are alright as they will be back home soon. Tracey and Miles seem to be tangled up with each other in a more uncertain way than Blaise and Lovegood. Theo didn't exactly know if he should pity his friend or not because he genuinely looked happy, he was in his own little world with Luna as they got too carried away with breathing down each other. When he finally saw him alone by the kitchen making coffee Theo found a chance to stir up some fun.

"you two a literally eating each others tongue everytime I walk by the room." Theo mocked.

"sod off." spat Blaise.

"tell me now is she good in bed?" Theo continued.

"do you really have nothing better to do?" Blaise asked impatiently.

"your show is certainly more entertaining then Bulstrode and Davis. So i've decided to reserve seats here from now on." Theo snorted.

Blaise just signed as he was about to walk away Theo got a hold of Blaises arm.

"do you actually like her or are just playing?" asked Theo with curiosity.

"let's just say she's the only thing that makes sense to me right now." said Blaise. Theo was only able to reply with an face full of confusion.

"I love talking to her even when I have nothing to say, she's so unbothered by the world and you end up just skipping along with her." Blaise explained looking down unable to stop himself from smiling. 

"so you're in love with her?" asked Theo

"I don't exactly know but what I do know which probably sounds stupid but when i'm around here our souls seems to connect in a knowly way and I just feel complete, like a whole." finished Blaise. "I feel complete." he agreed with himself as he walked out.

"it's not stupid at all." Theo muttered under his breath as he watched his friend run to his happiness. 

Theo passed by Tracey and Miles room which seems to be dead silent assuming they've put a silencing spell to keep quite the shagging. Ted was sleeping on the couch as Theo wandered back into his room. He stepped on his pants he first wore when he came to the safe house and picked it deciding that it probably needed cleaning. Until he felt a small bump in the pockets and remembered the small bottle he nicked from his father the day he insulted Bellatrix.

He examined the bottle which contained only a bit of some liquid he was not familiar with. It looked like some dark potion. Even though the past couple of days has been good and rather enjoyable Theo knew this was only temporary. As everyone else had someone to live for and hope to keep them going, he had no one.

All that could come to his mind was his father, what did he do to the potion. What made it explode? He digged deeper and really thought about it which he knew would be a dangerous path to go down to. But the explosion was small it couldn't have possibly killed her, perhaps only injured. The he remembered the light, the green light. Some green light came from behind when she pushed Theo away. The killing curse. His father cold blooded murdered his mother.

It wasn't just rage that went over him this time. It was the unbearable truth that he so unwillingly wanted to accept. The truth that if he just stood there or pulled his mother aside with him then she would still be alive. He would give anything to have her back, he pulled out the photo from his pillow and clutched the potion in his other hand tightly. He would give anything he thought again.

He felt stabs of needles on his back, injecting more demons into his mind. He was afraid of what his demons planned for him this time as he heard more voices then he has ever before. His mind went unconscious as he heard the little devil disguised as an angel speak with a graceful mocking tone. 

you really think you matter? your mum would've been alive if it weren't for you. How dare you breathe while she suffocated. 

Theo tried to re-focus his mind as he stared down at the bottle but his mind unfocused again within a few seconds.

You know you deserved it, all of it. Your father was doing the right thing by punishing you. You shouldn't have lived this long. You can fix the mistake now.

The problem with pain is that it changes you to become someone that you're not. You get used to the pain as it numbs you but really it's only changing you. Theo just has been bottling up all of his emotions his entire life. He imagines himself dying, life pouring out of him like an open tap creating this river flow of his blood. Would it be so bad? He thought to leave this shit hole. He's never been afraid of death because to him, death was only a matter of time. Or a very predictable ending for a villian.

He wanted someone here beside him, where he could cry out all his pain. He wanted someone to look him in the eyes and tell him everything was going to be alright. Even if it was a lie, he just needed to hear the words. He was so tired of fighting this never ending battle, He just wants out. He was angry at himself for fighting this long because it's so pointless. Who is he fighting for? What's he living for?  He should've known this from the beginning, his life was pointless. A maze that only leads to broken hearts. Blaise should have never pulled him away that day.

He opened the bottle in his hand and with the help of his demons luring him in he took only a small sip. But the sip was deadly, he fell to the floor instantly as he felt it eating his organs and the pain flooded all over his body. It felt like someone was eating him alive as his organs were on fire. It felt like being burned alive.

He was shaking from the unbearable pain but somehow found comfort. His eyes were closed now because he realized this was what he's searched for, a pain so strong that can drive all his demons away forever. All he wanted was to see his mother again.

He was fading and he knew it. This was the end for him, the bad guys should get the deathly ever after. They should move out of the way for the hero's to finish there jobs on saving the world. He felt at ease as the pain craved deeper within him between seconds. He couldn't hold in the pain anymore as he's been clutching his hands in a fist to stop himself from making any noise but still ended up letting out a small quick yelp.

There was light and pressure on his chest, Theo thought he was reaching the other side until he realized the pressure was not from pain but from a hand. As he vomited out something he saw Ted trying to heal him. As Theo kept vomiting out onto the floor Ted kept trying to heal him. He felt the burn fade a bit. 

As his mind went back to conscious, with his back laid on the floors looking up at Ted with tears and cried. Theo got up and hugged him so tight like his life depended on it. He kept crying as he held on tightly to Ted. Ted was rubbing his back as he whispered "it's going to be okay, you're going to be okay." He assured Theo over and over again until he closed his eyes from exhaustion.