memories

chapter four

bailey's story for today.
[ tuesday, 11 pm ]

i still stumble on the thought of you and me.

i just wanted things to be better than they were before. i just wanted us to both have a fun and welcoming time together. sure, i made mistakes in the past and they hurt you. although it seems like i don't think about it, the thought of me hurting you saddens me to the fact that it is possible but would be the last thing i would do. when i say i'll come home earlier and i e don't, you look cozy while sleeping on the dinner table. i find it heartwarming that you wait for me even in the latest of nights, even when you know you i won't come home in time like i say i would. you cook my favorite food and ask how my day was, and i'm sorry if i don't always ask you that. you were always looking out for me, and i also knew you wouldn't believe that you look overwhelmingly beautiful in your slumber. you give me kisses on my cheeks and ask for mine. with a smile that radiates light into me, it also gives me guilt to find that even if you know i don't do my best to make it up to you, you still do your best to let me know you're here for me.

i've always wanted you to feel the same. to feel like you were needed by the table. to feel like being fed after a long, exhausting day. to feel like somebody does care about your lonely days. to feel like unbelievable to the fact that people do think nicely of you. to feel that touch of your soft and warm lips against my heated cheeks. to feel nice about things for once.

i know i've been nothing but broken promises and late comings, apologies and ungrateful ness. i know i've stayed up too late working instead of taking care of you. i know i've hurt you a couple of hundred times.

but i wanna repay your acts of kindness.

i want my turn to show you what i could do for you.

i want to microwave some popcorn and watch heathers with you.

i want to go to long dates and hold hands for a long time with you.

i want to take you stargazing and stay at a resort with you.

i want to be part of the happiest days in your life.

i want to be the person you've wanted for your entire life.

i want to be your lover

until the end.