One Hot Summer (boyxboy)

Chapter 21: Secrets and truths

"I've never let a guy touch me that way before and I wouldn't let any guy touch me that way either."
☆

"Hi." Jasper edges into the bedroom a little more before a startled Thomas, who sits himself up.

In a panicked voice, he says, "Shut the door!"

Jasper quickly does what he says equally as panicked, as if it's catching, but doesn't really know why Thomas seems so edgy. "Why are you here Jasper?" Thomas seems a little suspicious. His usual cockiness is absent as he looks plain uncomfortable in Jasper's presence. 

"I actually came to see if you are ok." Jasper says, quite offended by Thomas' appreciation of his visit. 

Thomas again eyes Jasper warily before seemingly subconsciously accepting that Jasper was actually being genuine. "Ok. You may sit." He points to a spot at the end of his bed. 

Jasper starts to look around Thomas' bedroom. It seemed a little dated, like an old person's room. Mahogany drawers and a dresser lined the wall to the right, whereas a fancy dressing table with an oval mirror with embellished edges sat atop. "This looks like a woman's bedroom." Jasper comments, just thinking out loud, not really intending the words to slip from his mouth. 

"That's because, it is...was." Thomas says defensively, but tails off towards the end.

"What do you mean it was?" Jasper asks, not always the best at picking up when a conversation may be awkward and this one was clearly heading in that direction. 

Thomas looks at Jasper almost with annoyance in his eyes. He hated how he now felt like he was obliged to answer. "This was my mother's room before she…" Thomas pauses, not even wanting to say the words again, winding him up like it was yesterday. "Before she decided Molly and I were holding her back from her destiny."

Jasper furrows his brow in confusion. "What do you mean...destiny?" 

Thomas sucks in his teeth in order to convey a careless attitude as he explains.  "Mum had Molly when she was 16, then had me when she was 22. Father unknown, on both counts. Mum was trying to get into acting. She would often go away to the city for job opportunities. Anyway when I was five, Grandma said she had gone to work far away, but Molly told me the truth about how she really felt about us because she'd heard the arguments." Thomas looks at Jasper, knitting his eyebrows together slightly. "I don't know why I'm telling you this."

Jasper lets out a light chuckle "because I asked?" 

Thomas laughs back, a little sarcastically, before adopting a more serious expression. He again straightens himself up on the bed. "So now it's your turn  Jasper. Why are you here?" Jasper looks down at his own tee, pulling stray bits of fluff from it. "Come on, I answered your question, now you answer mine."

Jasper can feel his mouth fill with saliva and swallows it down before he speaks. He looks at Thomas ready and waiting for his answer. "Yesterday...you said I used you." Jasper pauses and looks at Thomas' reaction, who now seems to be hanging on his every word. "I've never let a guy touch me that way before and I wouldn't let any guy touch me that way either."

It's now Thomas' turn to swallow hard as he takes in Jaspers words. "Jasper w..what are you trying to tell me?"

"Tom I don't think I'm gay, but I don't think I'm completely straight either. But I do know I'm... I'm attracted to you." As soon as the words leave his mouth, Jasper can feel panic settling in his bones. He suddenly stands up from the bed. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that. I'll just go." 

Thomas as quick as lightning outstretches his arm, he grabs onto Jasper's hand, making Jasper fall back to a sitting position. "Why are you leaving?" 

Jasper tries to pull his hand away from Thomas' very tight grasp. "Because I've just made a fucking fool of myself." 

"No you haven't." Thomas says, causing Jasper to stop pulling. He looks at Thomas who is smiling so widely. Not a cocky smile, not one of mischief, but a real genuine smile. "You know I feel the same right?...I mean, I like guys all the way but you, you're something different. You interest me Jasper and I want us to have some fun together." 

Jasper looks at Thomas, not knowing what to make of this new found proposition. "Sure I guess?" He felt a little deflated though. Maybe Thomas just saw him as a bit of fun, but Jasper knew deep down that he saw the older as something more than just a good time.

There is another knock at the door and Thomas instantly pulls his hand away from Jasper. Like they were doing something they shouldn't. "Come in." Thomas calls out, clearing his throat in the process. 

His grandfather pushes the door wide to view both boys sat a meter apart on the bed.  "Boy, come and see your sister."

"I see her every day grandpa." Thomas points out, which earns him a slap around the head from the old man. Jasper had never seen an aged person move so fast. "Ow!" Thomas complains, holding the back of his head. 

The old man then turns to Jasper. "You did this?" The man is now pointing to Thomas' bruised face. 

Jasper wants to say no, or should he say yes? Thomas' grandfather was putting the fear of God into him, he didn't know what was the right answer. He eventually sides with the truth. "Yes sir, sorry sir." He hangs his head low.

"Good." The old man replies, taking Jasper by surprise, not really a nice surprise though. Jasper looks at Thomas, vacantly gazing down on himself.  "He needs to toughen up a little. He spends far too much time with that unnatural cousin of his. It's about time he met some proper males." 

Jasper can't believe exactly what he is hearing. He can feel his grip on the edge of the mattress tighten and finds himself opening his mouth to say something when Thomas suddenly speaks. "I'm getting up anyway grandpa." His grandpa mutters something inaudible under his breath before exiting the bedroom, leaving Jasper dumbfounded and Thomas like the wreck he was when Jasper had entered the bedroom. It all now made sense.

"He doesn't know." Jasper utters quietly under his breath. Whether Thomas had heard it or not, Jasper cannot tell, as he mechanically pulls a purple tee over his head which had been laid discarded on the bedroom floor. 

"He doesn't know you're gay does he." Jasper repeats. 

Thomas suddenly clamps a hand over Jasper's mouth, which Jasper instantly tries to prize off with his own fingers. "What the hell Tom!" Jasper muffles. He looks Thomas in the eyes. The older's eyes look utterly terrified, as if he were to drive over a cliff in a car with no brakes!" 

"And if you keep your mouth shut, he never will!" Thomas warns.